If Only I'd Cared...

If Only I'd Cared...

A Poem by David Lewis Paget

How did I lose you, I confess

It couldn’t be love, but carelessness,

I thought the years in their passing might

Be spent in caring, and bind us tight.

 

For I was there in the days untold

To watch your faltering steps unfold,

To see you when I came home at night

And rock your cradle in pure delight.

 

I lit the fires with a paper spill

Protecting you from the winter chill

And prayed for you to the Lord above

For sending his gentle sign of love.

 

I watched you form, I watched you grow

And sometimes had to be strict, I know,

But did whatever I could to guide

With the love that I felt for you, inside.

 

Then one day, off in the world you went

To the great adventure life had sent,

And still I followed you, day by day

In your youthful follies and wayward way.

 

And wasn’t I there when you came back home

With an open door from your urge to roam?

I tried to nurture the friend in you

As a father’s love has a need to do.

 

Then you had little ones of your own

And the years sped by, the children grown

You fought and struggled and did your best

Then you, like me had an empty nest.

 

But you grew bitter and full of doubt

And questioned what life was all about,

While I still offered a caring hand

In hopes that your grieving heart would mend.

 

I may be old and you’re not so young

Though still I was proud to call you son,

But now, for reasons I just can’t see

You seem to have turned your back on me.

 

Your cruel words, like a pointed dart

Have finally broken this old man’s heart,

I wouldn’t be feeling this bleak distress

If only I’d cared not more, but less.

 

David Lewis Paget

 

 

© 2013 David Lewis Paget


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Featured Review

What a phenomenal and realistic read, that caters well to the thoughts that spiral through the mindsof those who live in the rich context of age, and circle of people that live in its passage. It seems as though we're always aware of this context when we're around someone much older or much younger than we are. I understand its implications more when I'm around my grandmother. There are always the typical platitudes of relation, comparisons to other family members, and musings about character and how children uniquely mature. In between these gentle thoughts, that make little impression, there is the ocassional line that consists of what we really think, especially when one starts to feel the detriments of age- 'if only I did not care so much, I would not hurt so.' A wholesome and nutritious write, with substantial truth to it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This has a completely different feel to it than the other work I have read. It made me sad reading it. As a father myself I understand a lot of the emotions expressed. Brilliantly written and expressed.

Posted 10 Years Ago




Your cruel words, like a pointed dart

Have finally broken this old man’s heart,

I wouldn’t be feeling this bleak distress

If only I’d cared not more, but less.

I think this says it all.Ah Dave of all our wanderings and children are teaching me as well. I wish you were not hurt by this. Children look back on us as adults and them as children .As if we are responsible for their failings.Seemingly unaware of the fact that they are well into adulthood and far beyond our influence. I see it as a broken record .Or a computer program that is faulty.No matter what to run with them they are unable to live in the now. Totally unable to see themselves as they truly are. I wish you well and share a sense of continuity with you on this subject .i know it in my own life.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This is so touching David and straight from the heart. We seem to go in waves with our kids. One day we are wise and can do no harm and the next day we have grown two heads. But in the end all we can say to the man upstairs who gave these people to us to love is that we did our best.

Posted 10 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ah... I knew when I saw the title that the poem would show that you could not have cared more... I have seen a sort of "Cats in the Cradle" tone before in your work. It seems like this is a common theme in the lives of fathers.
I thought the poem read well and I only hope it is a write of fiction.

Posted 10 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1483 Views
34 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on April 8, 2013
Last Updated on April 8, 2013
Tags: love, caring, adventure, nest

Author

David Lewis Paget
David Lewis Paget

Moonta, South Australia, Australia



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