Goodbye!

There comes a day when a love that’s frail

Will shatter at a touch,

No matter how long it’s been that way

And has hung together, just,

The storm that gathers at eye and lip

Bursts out of a clear blue sky,

In a day of rage that will turn the page

And will leave you asking why?

 

The clouds will gather, the lightning strike

And the swift torrential rain,

Will tear apart an uncertain heart

And will douse your love with pain,

It matters not if you back away

Or appease a fevered mind,

For words are said that in truth are bled

From a feeling most unkind.

 

You’re torn apart in a retrospect

Of the years you thought were fine,

But now discover that ancient lover

Was keeping tabs on time,

It seems that nothing was ever right

That you did in years before,

The cruel asides and the parting jibes

As they slam that final door.

 

It taints the best of your memories

It empties feelings inside,

It’s like a war with an empty core

Tossed in a sea of pride,

But even then when you can’t pretend

That the end is worth a sigh,

The saddest sound in that dismal round

Is that final word, ‘Goodbye!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Warren Daniel II]

Once again your work has left me asking for more, I have no idea how you remain so consistent with such beautiful work. The introduction "There comes a day when a love that’s frail
Will shatter at a touch" just reeled me in, excellent work.

Warren Daniel

[Valentine]

Another powerful write. I would expect to lose a love that way would leave a broken heart. I really like the wording in the last two stanzas. Valentine

[Jamestown]

Flawless, fluent, and gorgeous piece of writing!
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[J. K. Beach]

David... I read this at Tate's suggestion, and I am glad that I did. The meaning is poignant and well developed, but the meter and rhyme are so well crafted that I was drawn in entirely to the beat of the words and the tone and pitch of the language. Some lines--many have given excellent examples below--defy description and are just poetry of the ear of the finest kind. Well done, indeed!

[C. Rose]

I like lines that rhyme in the middle like war core and rage page.
A deftly paced and calmly sad piece.
Well done :)

[Tate Morgan]

This is one the best poems you ever wrote maybe the best. It wrenches feelings from me that both admire and feel pain at the same time The flow without compare the subject matter touches us all Bravo another masterpiece from the Immortal Paget.

[ANTO]

I really liked the way this is arranged
"The storm that gathers at eye and lip
Bursts out of a clear blue sky,
In a day of rage that will turn the page
And will leave you asking why? " - so very eloquent David - a lesson for all in word-smithing and in life.

"It’s like a war with an empty core" - this line flashed those images that were shown on TV of the cores of Chernobyl and Fukushima Daiichi - like - cold and fires put out but still radiating and causing sickness

the final stanza sums it all - one word which copper fastens the split forever.

Thanks for posting this one David, my friend - it resonates...

[Frozen Eyes]

"You’re torn apart in a retrospect
Of the years you thought were fine,"
Loved it.. Thank You David :)

[Einstein Noodle]

well done sir! .. a pleasure to read at every nuance and turn .. towards the end i was broken in by
http://youtu.be/KQmRnRmrBfY
:}
E.