The Rainbow

The rain came down in swirls that day,

The rain came down in sheets,

We sat in the back of the S.U.V.

As the rain, it turned to sleet.

‘I think it’ll show by Bleddows Hill

When the storm decides to pass’,

 I said to Ben as the clock struck ten

From the tower of Gormenghast!

 

I set the G.P.S. to range,

And checked the lat. and long.,

I’d bought a second-hand S.D.A.*

To track it, right or wrong,

The rain kept up its steady beat

The clouds were dull and grey,

For never a beam of moon or sun

Had shown, for many a day!

 

‘You’d better go wait in the Jeep,’ I said,

‘And turn your mobile on,

Be ready to move at the speed of light

At the first bright glimpse of the sun,

 For no-one’s uncovered the pot of gold

That lies at the end of the bow,

It’s led them a merry dance,’ I said,

‘But now, at last, we’ll know!’

 

So Ben sat up in the Jeep, he did,

But wet, and drenched to the bone,

I got the feeling he’d rather be

Asleep, in bed, at home!

We sat for over an hour out there,

In wait, for the sun to shine,

While I took notes from the G.P.S.

As it helped to pass the time.

 

Then out from a gap in a darkening cloud

A beam shone out, from the sun,

The air was suddenly light and clear

And the rain was almost gone,

A coloured bow shot over the hill

And into the air, at last,

It curved toward the village to point

At the tower of Gormenghast!

 

I spat the figures to Ben on the phone

And the Jeep leapt over the hill,

I kept the bow on the G.P.S.,

And tracked its movement well;

‘It only moves if I follow it,

It stays if I hold it still…’

We thought that science had tamed the way

That a rainbow rose, and fell!

 

Ben chased the bow to the village street

To the tower of Gormenghast,

Where the S.D.A. had pinned it down

With the G.P.S. at last,

And he dug and dug, ‘til an earthen pot

Lay there with the note it spilled,

Inscribed: ‘This is the poor man’s end;

The rich bit’s over the hill!’

 

David Lewis Paget

 

*Soldiers Digital Assistant " a device used to track

ground and air objects via GPS.

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

I would expect nothing less than this from you I love this internal rhyming and play. I read it get caught up in the cadence and Off I go into your world Its as if you left the door open And I rearranged the furniture. The end is always a shock to me I never get it right and I get a funny feeling of damn he beat me again I cant believe I have never been able to out think your idea.I use to read Sherlock Holmes and at times figured the end correct.I have never been able to out you or figure you out Bravo you are one of a kind .

[sweta'karman']

I was flowing with the poem,it seems nostalgically awesome...

[Shep]

This story poem was filed with imagery and grace as held me captive. Well done.

[Helena]

A simply awesome write! Well penned, flow and rhyme spot on! Wonderful story David. Somehow your writes have slipped by me. I have so many reads and reviews and such little time to do catch up, but I am going to make sure you are on the top of my list from now on!

Again, great write and thanks for sharing!

[iand63]

ah those crafty little ones good stuff there is an epic nature to your work which i really enjoy, it reminds me a lot of james joyce in that you take the smallest details and breathe a wealth of life into them. also there is a musical, lyrical, quality, whilst reading i have chord formations running through my head. great work

[roarke]

along for the whole ride, GPS not withstanding. I think the "rich bit" has already been deposited here on WC at least, my earthenware is overflowing. thanks for sharing your talent.

[Cliff Rhodes]

--Very interesting and visionary-enjoyable reading. Reminds me of a St. Nick poem, modern day, military issue.

[R J Askew]

Great stuff. Flawless balladeering againg 8s n 6s rule. Your poetic GPS does not err. It is wonderfully whimsicle how you can combine the old form with modernity of content. Yet you also gently nudge us into the old fairy tales and fantasies and a rainbow is about as far away from a GPS as you can get. So, a fascinating mix of modern 'stuff' and poetic form and vision. Who says form has no place in the modern world?! Not I. O, and you divvy up the little twist at the end too. You have a poke at our foibles, but we feel we can laugh with you and that you are never laughing at us.

[M.Babu]

You have such a remarkable way with words...
This was nothing short of fantastic. The flow was smooth, the topic was current and the direction was very modern.

I always enjoy receiving a RR from you....i know i'll be entertained out of my mind.

Great job!

~M.Babu~