a poem for a beautiful girl with magic eyes

your eyes

of orchids

maybe lotus...

they float 

                      detached

 

stars perhaps.

                      a ship set sail

                                              longing...

you

a pixie’s playground 

or a forest,

a child’s castle

or a tree

              (it's all the same to you)

innocence 

in essence;

inevitably transcends 

to me

(unworthy)       I must decline,

                            my beauty; 

                            so humble

                            remarkable 

your eyes

of lillies...

or lilacs

cannot describe

the          (elegance)

the          (delicacy) 

the beauty

                   of your eyes.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

A ship set sail
longing.
A nice write.

[Day]

thanks!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

I wouldnt touch it .... this is like a dream ... words spread all over , not always in the right place or contest .... your message was clear , its your style , never change anything you write ...xx

[Day]

thank you so much :)

[Day]

thanks for the input!

[StruckByLightning]

I like your word choice, but perhaps you can organize the poem more? Just a thought.