The Food of the Gods

The origin of attachment

My mother used fennel seeds when she cooked meats. My wife didn't … taking to a short cut through ready prepared mixed curry powders … that reported to be all in. But in 18 years of the marriage … I couldn't go for the chicken curry my wife cooked. So recently … I cooked chicken curry with roasted fennel seeds … while still using the prepared mixes. It was heavenly … and I appeared to have returned to a place I used to be fond of. But it was more than that.

Cooking meats with fennel … brings out the taste of the meat … and whether its hamburger … or chicken curry … it creates a special taste of meat … that's defines how meats should be prepared. It caused in me a response today … that I found startling. I found my mind and knowledge of food … suddenly approving the intelligence … engaged in the preparation of food. Intelligence? It surprised me. I'm accustomed to referring to people as a good cook or not … but intelligence?

It felt like I had achieved a minimum standard in the knowledge of handling meats. And yes … it felt like knowledge. My wife had cooked meats like she always had at her home … and she brought the same habits of preparing food to our family … and would not accept a suggestion for change. Curious … isn't it? Food apparently … is a significant input into the passions … and forms a subtle sense of identity of the individual. As we pile up friendships … customs … cultures … and work attitudes … onto to that … changing the food recipe … mat well upset the entire apple cart.

I had not realized that before. Its much the same way … with sex … as another significant input into the passions … and the person we commit to for it. To separate from such a person … is like removing one of the pillars of the passions … that holds up all else. I managed to work out the effects of the sexual relations … without a new partner … but couldn't do anything about the food flavors … until I cooked up my mother's favorites again.

I seem to recall … how when my wife and I split up … it took away parts of the passion that relied on the sexual gratification. A big slice of that … was my pro-western attitudes. It must be the way … the world community views western sexual attitudes … and relates to it in some way … in their own practices. It had formed a stable and reliable dependency … during my marriage. I thought I was pissed off with western influences for a while … but told myself … I had nothing to blame them for … other than my own personal choices.

I've been therefore substituting for my habits of the sexual attitude … with my own thought out … views and opinions. In time … I've been able to recreate my enthusiasm for sex somewhat … relying as I did … on the understanding that entertainment sex … is an approval for the passions. It has helped me to overcome the deprivation I felt about it … and replaced it with an average sense of sex appeal … that feels just right. I must say … I think my past habits on it … were a little exaggerated.

My thoughts go to the senior citizens … and elderly in society … and I can't help but feel that they live their last years … with some deprivation. I'm saying it doesn't have to be that way. That's sad because … in the last years of a man's life … he comes into great insight regarding life … and learns a considerable amount about the human condition. Unfortunately … he stores all these … together with the … garrulous sense of deprivation that he also experiences … during that time. How would that … contribute to the growth of knowledge in man?

My own reviews of the passions … brought me into contact with parts of the passions … that were simply obsessed with death. A previous life? Add to that … the fears of losing youth … losing the physical mobility … and anxieties on account of illnesses. It makes any attempt … by a man to examine his life … difficult … and discouraging. And yet … we store a great deal of insights … in the memories of past experiences … that has considerable knowledge of life.

I had unearthed recently … a most curious feel of floating over the pyramids in Egypt. It was not a pic from the internet. I was astounded by the possibility … that it was from the memories … and that its possible to create recall that way. The Vasudeva … in the Gita … used to say that .. he knew all his past lives … and the manner in which they had strived … for perfection. That had given him … the greatest insight into life … and its purpose … that he communicated to others.

In cooking up all my mother's favorites these last few days … in exactly the same recipes … that she did … I cannot begin to describe how I feel. We were borderline poor … when young … and the food was simple … but the exact taste of the food … that had mixed with the enthos of my child experience … with thoughts of home … security … and family … is priceless. It had been the foundation of my expectations … hopes and promises … that I had carried through life. I find myself free of such attachments today … and am able to view myself … with some equanimity of the issues.

On reflection … I might need to rephrase what I had said … about intelligence … in the preparation of food. The intelligence applies to the knowledge … of the content of passions … and the way they were cultivated … like the secret of fire. I try to keep up my daily enthusiasm … from day to day … and hope that … what I've learnt in these times … is not lost to grief and aggravation. In some way … I'm hoping my future lives … may come to some benefit of it. I think the word I want is posterity … and it hints at a subtle sense … of coming close to uniting with other lives in the world as one.