Underneath Moonlight

Underneath Moonlight

A Poem by Daytonight

In the darkest of the night
when the moon is shining bright
like a lantern with the shield removed
while stars twinkle as they approved.
Pen to paper in softest touch
describing I miss you so much
pouring out my tender heart
right from the very start.
Scribbles streaking across page
flowing with my love throughout the age
caressing parchment as the verse
spells out love for better or worse.
Underneath moonlight when scribbles flow
trying to express how much I love you so
magic is born from paper and pen
when lines appear and words begin.

© 2011 Daytonight


Author's Note

Daytonight
Image: Photobucket

Written May 23, 2011

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Featured Review

Hello - here again , loving this one. what about removing the gerund from L2 and going to when the moon shines bright. - Gives a more immediate image to the reader, the meter slots nicer into L1 as well but admittedly would fells odd going into the length of L3. I don't write rhyming pieces - reason being too much to consider, am lazy and inept at counting syllables! :)
Some very nice images in this poem, and some original phrasing - love scribbles streaking {again might lose the gerund?} Also in final S is there another word for scribble - what about scrawlings - or did I just make a word up??
Loving the sentiment can totally relate!
Mike

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is absolutely amazing I especially love the second stanza !!! and just as you told me "keep penning" :) Brilliant piece!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hello - here again , loving this one. what about removing the gerund from L2 and going to when the moon shines bright. - Gives a more immediate image to the reader, the meter slots nicer into L1 as well but admittedly would fells odd going into the length of L3. I don't write rhyming pieces - reason being too much to consider, am lazy and inept at counting syllables! :)
Some very nice images in this poem, and some original phrasing - love scribbles streaking {again might lose the gerund?} Also in final S is there another word for scribble - what about scrawlings - or did I just make a word up??
Loving the sentiment can totally relate!
Mike

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's a love poem of such tender words...your image is second to your thoughts here...and moonlight is so romantic...
Rob~

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a lovely rhyming quatrain, filled with imagery that delights the senses. Standing ovations!

Love,
Amera

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice...

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice...

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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260 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 8, 2011
Last Updated on June 8, 2011
Tags: Feelings, Imagery, Love, Thoughts

Author

Daytonight
Daytonight

LA



About
I am a hopeless romantic who still believes in happily ever after. I have a passion for writing poetry. My poetry tends to be tender sensual love poetry with some heartbreak along the way. I also l.. more..

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