The Peter Pan Paradox (Radio Play)

The Peter Pan Paradox (Radio Play)

A Stage Play by Ddraper

In the wake of a bereavement, two siblings revisit a place which holds fond childhood memories for them. However, the place they once held so sacred, is no longer the place they remember.


Sometimes to continue a legacy, you must say goodbye to one.


A radio play by

Darrel Draper


In the wake of a bereavement, two siblings revisit a place which holds

fond childhood memories for them. Honouring a yearly family tradition. However, with the family depleting, and rapid changes to the environment,

the place they once held so sacred, is no longer the place they remember. Is the true meaning of moving forward being able to let go of the past, or being able to embrace it with new found understanding?

Both Laura and Josh are in their early to mid 30's, Laura should be a few years older than Josh. Although Josh is homosexual, he should not be stereotyped in any 'camp' fashion, and in fact his sexuality should be downplayed by the actor.

SCENE: Southend-On-Sea. Pier front.

Sounds of water crashing against rocks. A seagull screeches. Faint sounds of people enjoying a near by theme park. A gentle hail/breeze of wind, followed by a prolonged roaring of several motorbikes, ripping down the road from a distance. (Throughout this scene there should be a continuous stream of background noise taken from a not too busy beach)

Laura: (In reference to the sound of the motorbikes) Guess not everything’s changed.

Josh: I always imagined I'd have a motorbike when I was older.

Laura: Pfft. Didn't you have stabilisers up until nine?

Josh: eight and a half. (Mutters jokingly) B***h.

Both snigger. Beat.

Josh: Maybe nows the time.

Laura: Huh?

Josh: Start learning.

Laura: Why? You gonna join a gang? Go all Sons of Anarchy?

Josh: I have a friend, her dads in a motorbike gang, sorry, club, motorbike club, you mustn't say gang, that really pees them off, apparently, but, she was saying, if they ever see anyone wearing one of those jackets, the sons of anarchy one, they rip it off them. It's a sign of disrespect, as they didn't earn that right, the right to wear it.

Laura: That's stupid. It's a show. Surely they get that its/ not.......

Josh: But that's the point. It's like, like.......Imagine you were watching a show about being a cop, and then you just decided to dress like one, and then went out and /started.....

Laura: Well that's obviously against the law, so/ that's.....

Josh: But you know what I mean? You just can't one day decide that you're going to/start....

Laura: Riding a motorbike?

Josh: (Sniggers) I mean, I've seen some people wear them on the train, buses. Those jackets. SOA ones. I just wanna say, “Oi. Bikes in the garage is it?” or, “You got kicked out did ya?” (Laughs to himself). It is ridiculous when you think about it. Not so bad if you do actually ride a bike and......Actually, think that's more insulting. To them. You know, if you wear the jacket and also/.....

Laura: The whole things ridiculous really. Sons of Anarchy. The Hells Angels. How can you call yourselves that, and then be like, no, no, we're not a gang! We're a club! When have you ever seen a bowling club, or cricket club, whatever, called, 'The Evil Slags'.

Both laugh.

Josh: Fair point. There definitely seems to be a lot more dodgy looking people about.

Laura: Because there's more pubs and clubs than there used to be. This place is more for the towie types now than the families.

Josh: (Said with a sense of horror and dread) You mean their beginning to venture past Brentwood?

Laura: Well, when the fake tan eventually runs out, they'll have to go in search of the real sun.

Josh: Dun, dun, dun........(Beat) I wouldn't want to get bladdered where there was a possibility of drowning.

Beat. More sounds of motorbikes passing.

Josh: (Sings) 'Riding through this world'.

Beat. Laura laughs.

Laura: (Mutters) Mid life crises ahoy.

Josh: What?

Laura: Just imagining you in all leather, it's not a good look.

Josh: Oi, I'm one of the few men that can actually pull off double denim, so if/....

Laura: Well you really have to.

Josh: Ay?

Laura: Pull it off.

Josh: What!

Laura: That's how getting dressed works. You put something on, and then you/pull......

Josh: Oh shut up!

Laura: (Laughs) C'mon, that was/.....

Josh: You're just jealous that I always had better style than you, and better/.....

Laura: HA! Yeah alright!

Josh: It's true! AND.....You know you're actually quite lucky they shut it down, because/if.....

Laura: It's not shut. It's just not........Why? What was you going to say?

Josh: You almost threw up from the pirate ship. The pirate ship! I remember that little girl much younger than you just staring and/.....

Laura: It was because we ate before! That was the only reason I/was.....

Josh: Crap! You've never been good on rides! You've/always.....

Laura: 'Good on rides'? What? Is there like a qualification you can get now? A course you can take on how to be good/on.......

Josh: You're just.......You don't even like them, so I don't know why/you......

Laura: What was I going to do? Sit at home while you all went off and had fun. Plus, mum needed help.

Josh: Help?

Laura: With you boys. Dad and you were a nightmare when you were out anywhere together. Took two of us to reign you in. I don't know who was the biggest child out of you two.

Josh: I went because of dad. Because he liked it so much.

Laura: Guess I took after mum then.

Josh: What do you mean?

Laura: She hated it as well.

Josh: No she didn't.

Laura: She did. Only went because of you and dad.

Josh: Nah. She was always well up for it. Always ahead of us in the queue.

Laura: Because it made dad happy. And it made you happy. But she used to hate waiting in those queues. Probably why she was always in front. Wanted to get it over with as quick as possible.

Josh: Well, no one likes queuing for anything, but, I don't believe that, I don't....Maybe that's what she told you so that you wouldn't feel so bad about not wanting/to.....

Laura: No. No it's not.

Josh: Might have been.

Laura: It wasn't. There was a lot about mum you didn't know. (Beat. Pause) Sorry, I didn't mean that to sound like it/.......

Josh: Why the hell have we come then? Huh!

Laura: Because I thought, I thought it would/be......

Josh: For me? Is that it? Is this you putting your own happiness to the side again? For the family? What's left of it. (Beat) Ay!


Laura: Sorry Josh, I honestly didn't mean for that to come out the way it did. I just/.....

Josh: We can go back now if you want. We don't have to/do.....

Laura: I don't want to go back. I/.....

Josh: Are you sure? Because I wouldn't want you to have to suffer for/......

Laura: Oh for......Now you're just being a child! Stop it!


Laura: Took long enough to drive down here, so we might as well/do......

Josh: But what I'm saying is.......It doesn't have to be our tradition. Not any more. Not now that........No point spending the rest of our life’s doing things we don't like, just for the sake of.......I mean, now that it's no longer Peter Pans Playground, it's not like, we don't......We'd be creating new memories, instead of, of honouring the/.....

Laura: They might have some of the same rides.

Josh: You mean the dreaded pirates ship?

Light snigger. Beat.

Laura: I liked the 2p machines.

Josh: Yeah. I think there's something universally satisfying about pouring hundreds of 2ps into a machine at the prospect of winning back those hundreds of 2ps.

Laura: (Laughs) The human race is a funny one, ay. Although remember the year they had those Pokemon key chains?

Josh: Oh yeah. That was the year that the 2p machine came into its own. Transcended beyond the humble coin collector.

Laura: (Snigger. Beat) Should we just head to the arcades?

Josh: In a bit. I'm actually enjoying this sand.

Laura: Me too. Must say, this is a welcomed change. Nothing worse than a pebble beach.

Josh: Would have brought a bucket and spade if I would have known.

Laura: In saying that though, pebble castles are a lot stronger than sand ones.

Josh: Also a lot harder to make.

Laura: Yeah, don't we know it.

Josh: Sad though init, when you go to the beach and the worse part of the beach, is the beach.

Laura: Do you think they replaced the pebbles themselves? To draw more people.

Josh: And by 'they', you mean........The Southend sand people? The pebble poachers?

Laura: Well surely it didn't just change, like, naturally. The rocks didn't just disappear and suddenly there was sand in it's place.

Josh: Errr. Sand is corroded rock. That's sorta how it works.

Laura: Yes, I do know that thank you, I don't need.......But you don't have a pebble beach for twenty years and then one day it's sand.

Josh: I don't know. People kept telling me that if I carried on eating the way I did, when I hit thirty I would inflate. And lone behold, a day after my 30th birthday I woke up and it was as if overnight someone had replaced my body with someone else’s. Either that, or......(Laughs to himself)

Laura: What?

Josh: Nah, I'm not gonna say it.

Laura: Go on.

Josh: (Beat, with awkwardness) I was gonna say, you know what Sam got me, for my birthday, as a joke.

Laura: Um. Yeah.

Josh: What if it was actually a pump instead and it/.....

Laura: Oh god!

Josh: (Laughs) Would make more sense.

Laura: No, it really wouldn't. (Beat) You did eat a lot of cake on your birthday, from what I can remember.

Josh: It's unfair though.

Laura: As you say, you were warned, people did tell you/if.....

Josh: No, but, I mean, a rock corrodes and becomes something beautiful. Something which brings people joy. It, it becomes better almost. But, but us, when we corrode, it's, just.......You know. All down hill.

Laura: Wow. This got morbid quick.

Josh: Sorry. (Beat. Sniggers) It is ironic though.

Laura: Maybe if you spend long enough in the water you'll become sand too. And then people will use you to craft various fun fortresses. But, you'll also have to deal with all the other stuff too, like, people kicking you about and, and, deprecating? No, that's not the right word, people, you know, doing nasty things on top of you and/......

Josh: (Laughs) Spend the rest of my eternity in someone’s butt crack!

Laura: Exactly!

Josh: Mmmmm, yeah maybe I'll pass on that. Although, depending on the man. (Beat) No, but, I meant it's ironic that they closed down Peter Pans Playground.

Laura: They didn't close it down, they just changed it. I suppose 'Adventure land' is more appealing to all ages, either that or Disney took a spontaneous trip to Essex and sued after for copyright infringement. (Sniggers)

Josh: Unlikely. (Sarcastically) If Disney had of visited this magical enchanting dive, I mean, land, there would have surely been an animated film dedicated to it. 'Southend-On-Hope'. (Laughs to himself)

Laura: A place doesn't have to be perfect, magical, to hold significance. Yeah, It's a dive, but, it's/......

Josh: Oh please, stop right there. I know what/.....

Laura: It's true. I'm/....

Josh: We're not in a film. And, it's not exactly, 'ours', any more. Is it?

Laura: (Beat) Might not be no Peter Pan any more, but I still see a lot of lost boys about.

Josh: (Beat) Remember that time I got lost.

Laura: Never seen mum so angry.

Josh: I swear I still had her hand print on my a*s after a month.

Laura: (Laughs) Was your own fault. Kept wandering off.

Josh: First time we came wasn't it.

Laura: Yeah.

Josh: What do you expect a child to do in a new and wondrous place?

Laura: Wondrous?

Josh: Well, at the time. At that age. Not so much now. Not that........


Laura: You have to say it Josh. That's what he said. If you don't start saying it then you won't be able/to.....

Josh: I always thought mum would go before dad. Don't know why. Just did.

Laura: Because he's a man, and men are, 'stronger'.

Josh: No. Statistically men die younger than women.

Laura: Yay! So either way, I'll have the last laugh.

Josh: Unless you get cancer too.


Josh: That wasn't me.......Obviously I'm not hoping you get/.......

Laura: I know.

Josh: Bad timing. I was just, trying.........I don't know. Sod it.

Laura: No, no. It's good that you......I did say you needed too......(Beat) And earlier, you know, when I said that, that there were some things that you didn't know, about her, you know that doesn't mean, that she, that she loved me more because she said some things to me and not you, that doesn't mean she/.....

Josh: I know. I know. Women like to talk to other women, just like men like to talk/to.....

Laura: Exactly. I mean, I know there were times you were much closer to dad than I was, and times when/I.......

Josh: But just the same, doesn't mean he loved you any less.

Laura: Yeah, yeah, I know that. But. There are times when.......There were times when, I don't know, I just felt, we didn't really have that, you know, that, 'Father/daughter relationship'. Like, daughters are supposed to be closer to their fathers. Normally.

Josh: Are they?

Laura: Usually.

Josh: Is that what TV and Film taught you? Because if so, me and mum should have gone on regular shopping sprees. I should have been picking out her dresses.

Laura: No, I know that's not......Just seemed that way. I knew other girls that were really close to their fathers.

Josh: Daddies girls?

Laura: Yeah.

Josh: Is that what you really wanted to be?

Laura: No. But. (Beat) Can I be really honest?

Josh: Yeah. Always.

Laura: I don't want you to think that I, that I'm.....I loved both of them the same. And I was, I was in absolute bits when dad died, you know I was, but, there was this, this, small, really small part of me that, for a split second, I thought/......

Josh: I'm glad it wasn't mum.


Laura: Yeah. Is that bad? And I don't know why. I don't.....As I said, I loved dad as much as mum, but, I just thought, if it had been mum at that time, if it had been.........I couldn't imagine talking to dad about my first sexual experience, in fact in his eyes/......

Josh: Yeah, yeah, I get ya, I get ya.

Laura: (Laughs) See, even you clam up at the mention of the word.

Josh: I'm not! I just/.....

Laura: Who do you think told Sam to get you that thing?

Josh: Ahhhhhhh. Well. It's all coming out now!

Laura: Did you actually ever use it?

Josh: Look, you want to talk about your sex life, that's fine. But mine, let's just......(Beat) Is it bad that I felt the opposite? About. When dad did..........

Laura: No. Suppose not. For the same reasons I guess.

Josh: (Beat) And dad never hit me like mum. (Sniggers) Pfft, men are stronger, he was as soft as instant mash, before the instant part.

Laura: But that was love though. Mum, hitting you that day. Leaving that print on your a*s. If she hadn't, if you would have never experienced that pain you wouldn't have learnt, and you would have wandered off all over again.

Josh: Yeah, one things for sure, I didn't leave her side for the rest of that day. Or any other time we came.

Laura: Exactly. You need that sometimes. All this, “no parent should EVER hit their child”, I mean, it's a great idealism. But, in the practical world. If it was ruled by Snowflakes, then, well, we'd all be snowed under.

Josh: (Imitating Anna from Frozen) “Do you wanna build a non gender specific snow person?”.

Laura: What?

Josh: (Laughs) Did you not see that bit with Piers Morgan on ITV?

Laura: No. Can't stand the man.

Josh: Ow.

Laura: Think about it, what's the first thing that happens when you're born? (Beat) Someone smacks you on the a*s. And, and if they didn't, then, no child would be here. We'd all be dead. It's that, that pain which, kicks us into gear. Propels us forward. Gives us the incentive to live. Continuing living. (Beat) Take mum for example, after dad died, she, I don't want to say became a better person because she was never a bad person, but, what I mean is, it was almost as if, she realised, she'd been stagnating, like, not, not because of dad, he wasn't the reason, but, it was like, she had to continue to live without him, and she had to fill that hole with something, so, she found new things to do with her life, new, interesting, more......She just, and it sounds awful, I know it does, but, she blossomed, kinda. (Beat) Do you understand what I mean?

Josh: Sort of. Like, flowers being grown in manure.

Laura: Yeah. Kinda.

Josh: Sums up our childhood anyway.

Laura: Maybe. (Beat) But, she only hit you because, she was scared. So frightened of loosing you that, that she felt that was the ONLY way to prevent you from doing something as stupid in the future. And it worked! And I know for a full fact she felt bad after. So, never think that, that she did that because she was a horrible person or/she.......

Josh: I never thought she was. I just.......She told you she felt bad?

Laura: I over heard her crying one night to dad about it. So. She was soft too. So don't ever think that she loved you less because she hit you once in a while.

Josh: I don't. (Beat) And don't you ever think that dad loved you less because you didn't have that, 'normal', traditional, fairy tale father/daughter relationship, because, I'm pretty sure that's just an urban myth, just like the 'Essex Tan'.

Laura: (Sniggers. Beat) Can you imagine if Finding Nemo was set in Essex, TOWIE Essex, they'd never be able to find the poor sod in a place where everyone’s orange.

Both laugh.

Josh: (Beat) Are we horrible people? Like, is this some sort of Karma? Because we both, both had that thought of.......You know? I'm glad it wasn't......So, god took them both, he/just......

Laura: No. No. Don't be stupid. That's not how it works. It's got nothing to do with god, or Karma, or.......Cancer's an unstoppable, uncontrollable force which doesn't abide by any moral codes, rules or regulations of this world.

Josh: Bit like Chuck Norris then.

Laura: (Laughs) Yeah, just with a bushier beard.

Josh: (Beat) Hey. Chuck Norris doesn't get cancer, cancer gets Chuck Norris.

Laughter. Pause.

Josh: Suppose them changing the name of it. The fairground. It's like. It's almost as if the worlds saying, 'time to grow up', 'move on!', 'do something else with your life's', 'Don't/......

Laura: Stop wasting your petrol.

Josh: One, I offered to drive us in my car, and two, I said I would give you/.......

Laura: Joking. I like driving. You know that.

Josh: But he had no parents, did he? Peter? He turned out all right in the end. Didn't he?

Laura: Josh, everyone loses their parents. It's part of the journey unfortunately. Just look around. See how many old people there are, look at them two, over there, sharing the same deck chair (Little snigger), and ice cream.

Josh: Don't blame them. 99 my a*s. Two bloody fifty. And you've gotta pay extra for the flake!

Laura: (Laughs) Maybe you should be sat with them, mid life crisis. Hey, that could be the name of your bike gang, club, the 'Crisis Clan'.

Josh: Shut up. I'm passionate about ice cream, and even more passionate about not paying an arm and a leg for one.

Laura: Whatever. My point was. They look happy, content, don't they? And I'm almost 99.9% sure that their parents are dead.

Josh: What happened to the other 0.1%?

Laura: That's reserved for miracles.

Josh: Jesus. Only 0.1%? That's a bit depressing.

Laura: It's why it's called a miracle. Wouldn't be special otherwise.

Josh: Bleach only ever gets rid of 99.9% of bacteria.

Laura: Ay?

Josh: So that last remaining particle of bacteria, that's a miracle?

Laura: I did say, doesn't have to be magic, perfect, to be significant.

Josh: (Beat) When did you give up on wanting to be a tennis player?

Laura: I still play, now and then.

Josh: But you know what I mean.

Laura: No? You asked when did I give up on wanting to be a tennis player, and I haven't, I still play tennis, therefore that makes me a tennis/....

Josh: Professionally, you wanted to/......

Laura: I wanted to be many things when I was younger. Went through phases. We both did. Just because I don't make money from it doesn't mean that it's still not enjoyable, I just.....Do you know what the real miracle is? Being completely, genuinely happy with the job you have. That's rare. If you can honestly say you really look forward to going to work everyday, then, I'd say, you are that 0.1%.

Josh: (Mutters) Bacteria.

Laura: You can't honestly say that if you won the euro-millions you'd still wake up early everyday just to.....Anyway, I don't want to......It's getting cold, C'mon, let's see if they have a pirate ship in this theme park, I can't have you tarnish my reputation with/.......

Josh: I said, we don't have to. We can just drive back.

Laura: No, I WANT to.

Josh: But you HATE rides, what's the point in/going......

Laura: This may be the last chance I get, well, for a while.

Josh: What do you mean?

Laura: Well, I may not be able to......Depends.

Josh: On what?


Josh: Laura, on what?

Laura: (Sighs) OK. I'll admit. I had an, a slight, ulterior motive today.

Josh: Yeah? What?

Laura: I just thought, what with......It was bad timing, and, I didn't want/to.....

Josh: Oh for fff......Spit it out! (Beat) Unless, oh god, it's not......Earlier, when I said you might.........Oh god, please don't tell me that you've....You've actually......

Laura: Huh? Ow, no, no, no, no. No, nothing like that! It's, it's a good thing! A happy thing! Well, we hope. Could say we're praying for some 'bacteria'. Actually, on second thoughts, that's a horrible way to look at it, please don't ever mention that I/said.......

Josh: I still have absolutely no idea what you're on about, so I won't be saying/any....

Laura: Me and Mark. We're having IVF. We've decided. It's time.


Laura: Crap. I was right wasn't I. It was bad timing. I should have/.....

Josh: No, no, no, it's not that. I was just thinking. They always wanted a grand child. I always felt like I had let them down. Like, with me, they knew they were.....Sorry, sorry! This is about you! Not me! Sorry. I'm, really, really happy for you.

Laura: Really?

Josh: Honestly.

Laura: Although, I don't know why I'm......Can't put all our eggs in one basket. Well, actually, that is kinda what we're doing with it, basket being..... But, you know, nothings certain yet. There's just, just, a better chance now.

Josh: Of course. How much was/....

Laura: Don't want to talk about that right now. Kinda wish I would win the euro-millions, but, if we do end up with......It won't matter.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. Of course. It's definitely worth it.

Laura: (Beat) I was thinking of naming it after one of them. Mum or Dad.

Josh: Oh OK. That's nice.

Laura: (Beat. Suddenly laughs) Your face!

Josh: What?

Laura: Don't worry! I'm not being serious! Do you honestly think I would bring a child into the 21st century and call it Ruth, or Graham!

Josh: Oh thank god! (Laughs) You got me there. (Beat, sniggers) Could call it Nemo. Nice gender neutral name.

Laura: Mmmm........Or Peter? Wendy?

Both laugh. Pause.

Josh: Shame though. Not that you're.....That they won't get to.........

Laura: Yeah. But. I've got them to thank. They put me here, and now........We are sand. When you think about it.

Josh: What! Has the sea air got to you or something?

Laura: No. Listen. Mum and dad were our rocks. They literally gave their life’s for ours. They, they corroded, and left behind us, in their place. We are the memory. We are.....It's our responsibility now to, to be the rocks. To produce our own sand. And that might mean being worn down by annoying and tedious trips to Adventure land, year in, year out. Because, even though the name has changed, nothing else has. You hear that? That noise, that screaming, laughter, joy, pain, anger, it's all there. All the same. Families, stitched together by a shared experience. Place. Doesn't matter what that thing, or, place is, when you're there, it's yours. Your own. No one else’s. Despite having to wait hours in a queue full of other people. It doesn't matter. Because their not really there. It's just you, and the moment. People say things like, “It was better when I was a child”, well, DURRRRRRR! That's because you're a child and you've yet to discover all the crappy things about life. All those things that put a dent in those, magical, enchanting.......Parts of living. BUT. It's not really them, it's you, you're the one that's changed, and if you can remember that, then, I think you'll be happier, more content with what you have.

Josh: Maybe. (Beat) For a second there, I really thought you were going to pull out, (Trying to sound inspirational) “Every-where’s adventure land”. (Laughs to himself)

Laura: Almost. (Beat) But. And even though we'll start a new legacy, tradition, it won't matter. Because they could change the name of that place a hundred times, and still, it would be ours. Those memories. Moments.

Josh: Sore asses.

Laura: (Laughs. Beat) Maybe that's where it all stemmed from.

Josh: What?

Laura: Never mind.

Josh: Oi! If you're insinuating what I think you are, no man's ever spanked me.

Laura: Should try it some time.

Josh: Mmmmmm........Perhaps when I get my leathers.

Both laugh. Beat.

Laura: And we'll have Dinosaur mini golf to look forward to.

Josh: But that just makes it harder for them.

Laura: What do you mean?

Josh: The clubs are much shorter, and they have little arms as it is. They'll never be able to reach the T. The dinosaurs I mean.

Laura: (Snigger) Yeah. (Beat) So what about you? Any plans to settle down? Any men on the horizon? Or should I say, man.

Josh: Yes, thank you, I'm not a w***e! (Laura laughs. Beat) Not at the moment, but, I'm alright with that. I think. Quite content with just being a, 'lost boy'. I think some people were just born to drift. Who says you have to settle down at a certain age? HAVE to have children and get/....

Laura: It's not because I HAVE to have children, it's because I/.....

Josh: Oh I know, I know, I wasn't trying to imply that you.....I was just saying that/I....

Laura: No of course. Sorry. I shouldn't have interrupted, you listened to me, and I should be/......

Josh: It's fine. I just.......I was in a coffee shop the other day with Monica and I/....

Laura: Oh how is she? Haven't seen her in AGES.

Josh: Yeah good, she's good. Thinking about emigrating to Australia. Apparently they treat teachers far better out there. Have more respect for them.

Laura: AND.......Sand beaches EVERYWHERE. None of this pebble crap.

Josh: Yeah, but, on the other hand, big a*s spiders.

Laura: Ah, touché.

Josh: But we were having a coffee, and as she was in the toilet I overheard someone's conversation, and, this guy was banging on about his five year plan, could swear he was no older than eighteen, nineteen maybe. And he had everything worked out. Knew exactly what he wanted to do, where he wanted to be, where he was going to live, what car he was going to drive, I mean, even down to the colour he was going to paint his, at this point, non existent conservatory, I kid you not. And I just remember thinking, wow, how bloody boring that must be. To be that age and have everything so figured out. Blimey. He's not going to have many tales to tell his grand children is he? “Gather round kids, I'm going to tell you the story of how I followed my five year plan and achieved everything I set out to, exactly as I had imagined it”.

Both laugh.

Laura: Millenials ay.

Josh: Don't get me wrong, I guess you have to be a little like that to survive in this current climate, but, some of my fondest stories from my late teens and twenties, are the ones that end horribly. Not horribly, but, really awkward.

Laura: Sounds about right.

Josh: And, and you know sometimes. When things get a bit hectic and I'm stressed, or angry, or depressed. You know what I imagine? I suppose this is a bit boring in itself actually, but, I imagine that I'm just floating on the top of the sea. Just on top it. Laid out on the surface, all/.......

Laura: There's a sea there. What's stopping you?

Josh: I mean. Somewhere nice. Somewhere hot. Just floating there. Head, arms, legs to the sky. Just bobbing along. Drifting across the ocean, and there's just quiet. Like, I'm in the middle of it, I've drifted far out to see, and there's nobody there, but me.

Laura: And killer sharks.

Josh: Shhhhh! Don't ruin it!

Laura: You used to think there were sharks in our local swimming pool.

Josh: I think every child at one stage thinks there's a trap door in their swimming pool. And at any moment they could release them. Bet you did.

Laura: Yeah. Can't lie.

Josh: Just one of those irrational fears. Like the monster in the closet.

Laura: Now those are the fears you should feel embarrassed by, not growing old, or getting/......

Josh: I never said I was afraid of getting old, I didn't/....

Laura: Right, so you're not having a mid life crisis?

Josh: No, I just.......Sod it, what if I am? Isn't that a part of life as well? Part of the, 'journey'?

Laura: Of course it is.

Josh: Well then. Why can't I just enjoy the ride?

Laura: (Sniggers) Now was that a subconscious reference to your dream of becoming/....

Josh: I'm serious. You say I act like a child sometimes, but, so what? Maybe that's what it takes to get through the sludge storm. This, this.....Utter. Brown bombardment. Maybe, you're wrong. Yeah. Just imagine that for a moment. (In his voice we can hear he is growing tearful, but trying to mask/bite back on his pain and upset) Maybe, we shouldn't have to change just because the world around us does. Wants us to. Forces us to. With all it's..... Maybe if we continue to act young, and think young, we can trick our bodies into thinking we are, and we won't age so quick and get all the nasty, horrible, awful stuff that comes with it too. And we'll be that 0.1%. Or at least I will. Someone has to be in this family. We can't all just.......I don't want to. OK? At least not now. I'm not ready.


Laura: OK.


Josh: Sorry. I'm Just......I miss them.

Laura: No need to be sorry. Me too.


Laura: I don't really care if you want to join a bike gang, or the village people. I was just joking.

Josh: (Beat) Could combine the two, start a club called, 'The Second Cumming'. Coming spelt, C, U,/......

Laura: (With a laugh) Yeah, yeah. I get it. C'mon, let's do something. I'm getting a numb bum sat here. (She stands to her feet)

Josh: Suppose we could get some candy floss, see what there is.

Laura: Oh no, I know your game Mr. You want me to eat before and be sick again.

Josh: (Standing) Oh shut up! It had nothing to do with what you ate, we didn't even eat before we/.....

Laura: We did! We went to that burger and hot-dog shack where they served that/....

Josh: Whatever! I swear you have different memories to me.

Laura: And that's OK. That's life.


Josh: Thanks.

Laura: Huh?

Josh: Genuinely. Thank you.

Laura: OK?

Josh: For being a good sister.

Laura: That's alright. (Beat) You're a good sister too, I suppose.

Josh: (Sniggers and gives her a shove) Shut up. (Beat) Ah. 'Satan's Sisters'.

Laura: Now that does have a ring to it.

They both laugh and walk away into the distance. We are left with the sounds of people enjoying the near by theme park. These noises slowly fade to silence. 

© 2018 Ddraper

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Added on March 26, 2018
Last Updated on March 26, 2018
Tags: radio play, play, new writing, love, loss, relationships, family, drama, comedy, sexuality



Essex , London , United Kingdom

I am a writer of theatre, film, television and poetry. I specialise in dark comedy's and have had some of my work previously produced. As well as having a passion for creative writing, I am also an ac.. more..

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