Dear Studded Sky, Don't Shine Unless You Can Keep Your Promise This Time!

Oh, cynical Star

You wink my at my stated desires;

But have yet to make me successful, when it comes to my endeavors.

Dear hysterical Little light,

Is my humiliation a show for you?

Am I just a waggish, silly, wishing fool

Hopelessly wishing my wishes on you, 

for none of my wishes to ever come true?

And if this is so, then

why do you mock me with you presence?

 Is your light of guaranteed hope, just a costume of unyielding brilliance?

I am not your doll, Star!

There is no cotton lined in my flesh; behold a beating heart!

And my soul will no longer be a chew toy-- to be so easily torn apart. 

Goodbye, little fire ball you have no hope to give

to a pondering soul that can't be held down by your rhetoric; 

for she has a life to live.

 Since me and the stars don't get along too swell

perhaps, I could try my wishes with fishes-- at the wishing well! 

Author's Note

I was reading some Dorothy Parker...and this is what I came up with.

Just be honest...so, what do you think?

Reviews

[...]

Nice vocab. I like this poem and the meaning behind it. No point wishing on stars. Better to make your wished come true by living your life. That's what I got out of it, anyway. The last line was cute. Almost comical. Did you intend it to be a little funny?

[TheArtOfInsanity]

I honestly don't know who Dorthy Parker is, but your writing is amazing, I enjoy seeing your progress as you become more intense and build up a larger vocabulary bank, yes. Vocabulary Bank.

[Dushyant Thadani]

This is nothing like I have ever read... Its a new topic for me, and it has a huge impact on the reader... Good choice of words... Since I don't know a thing about Dorothy Parker, I can't critique more than this...

[dan nacario]

and you choice of words...GREAT!!!!!

[dan nacario]

cool...things like a wish to a star never do come true...this is a great poem...

[Jeremy Baker]

Not familiar with Dorothy Parker but I liked the style and expression in this write!

[Boldpen]

Good write!
I loved your expressions and phrases.
The words were also fantastically chosen.
Nice Job!

[Larry Dyson]

smooth use of metaphors and simile could be more..liked it

[TWISTED NIGHTMARE]

i liked it...i can tell you like to write and i like the use of metaphors

[Roe]

very good