Thoughts of a Cutter

I’m in my room,

Looking around at everything.

The room is bright, but

It feels like I am surrounded by darkness.

My heart feels weary from 

All the pain that I am carrying.

I need to let it out.

It staying inside is killing me.

I will never talk.

That’s just not who I am.

No one would understand

Why I do this to myself.

Quietly, I cry, but

I don’t wish to die.

I just want the emotions to go away, 

For them to go to the outside.

 

          My body is covered with the scars of emotions.

       Nothing can hide them.

        I wish that I could stop.

                       The pain is just too much of a rush.

             I’m sorry friends.

             I’m sorry family. 

               I want to stop, but

                  The pain is just too much.

Author's Note

Real thoughts please

Reviews

[victoria]

I am a cutter myself so i can really relate to the feelings that you have shared in this poem. it is very emotional. i really love this. this has so much emotion and truth in it not many people can understand that sadly. im not quite sure if this is about you or maybe a family member or friend. but if its about you i hope you finish your journey and find out that life has meaning. i have a deep respect for you though.

like, in all honesty it is nice to know that there is someone out there that ubderstands. because often people don't really understand and they get really fricking judgemental. i mean i should know it has happened to me lots. it is sad but its the truth. people are not that accepting

[I Am Svetlana]

I remember when I first started doing this, I just wanted the pain to go away. It helped me forget, but it didn't take me until after 5 years of doing it to realize that it does affect and hurt our family. I fully understand and empathize with your inner pain, but there are better ways to make the pain go away than with just cutting. Write, read, go on a walk, paint, etc. Anything that helps your mind breathe.

[...]

yes you right sometimes is too much. it s hard continute when all fall down. your words have good intensity. it s strong energy. i wish you get well very soon.