The House on the Hill

The House on the Hill

A Poem by Debra Stevens Edwards (debby)
"

A Tall Tale

"
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The House on The Hill
The House on the Hill

When you walk past the house on the Hill,
It feels like deaths haunting cold chill.

The stories they tell about that place,
The beautiful woman with tears on her face,

I wondered why this woman still cried.
I also wondered how and why she died.

The library seemed the place to go,
When you had question and needed to know.

I read the newspapers and found not a word.
So to the hall of records then everything blurred,

The name I found way to familiar to me.
Elisa Applebee was my grandmother you see.

She had a thirst for knowledge it seemed.
When my Grandfather died she often dreamed,

Of far off places she longed to travel.
There is a mystery here I need to unravel.

At home I found what I have been looking for,
I found all her research and facts Galore,

I searched the old photos and finally found.
A photo of her with a book tightly bound.

It was the same woman from the house I had seen.
I felt like I was stuck in a nightmarish dream.

She said at the library she checked out this book.
From that moment on she seemed to be hooked.

The more I read the house drew me into its grasp.
The black-outs and wholes began filling my memory lapse.

I fear that I have gone much too far in I feel like bate.
So for those who read this it may not be too late.

The house is yours but never go inside its walls.
You can't believe the horrors this house recalls.

Destroy the book it is a gateway into hell.
As many before me have known so well,

Keep the house but let no one enter inside.
There is no escape and no place to hide.

I searched the old photos and finally found.
A photo of her with a book tightly bound.

The name of the book "House on Haunted Hill "
And under the photo I found her last Will.

The Will warned all who read it may become trapped.
I may never find my way out so I will adapt.

I will cry to warn others tempted to stay away.
It sucks you in and here you will stay.

1/22/2009
By Debra Edwards


copyright
Debra Edwards

© 2009 Debra Stevens Edwards (debby)




Featured Review

I like this and the story that it tells. However, the rhythm in stanzas 1, 6, 7, 8, 13, and 14 is off. Most of these could be fixed by reading them out loud and deleting a word. In a few lines, you have two sentences stuck together without punctuation. This one is an example.

"I fear that I have gone much too far in I feel like bate. "

There needs to be some kind of punctuation between "in" and "I feel"
Also, "bate" should be spelled "bait."

If you fix these minor errors, this will be a great poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love this. It makes you feel a bit uneasy. I also love that you don't elaborate much on the ending, letting the imagination kick in.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Breath taking. Sounds like a run down of my book. Loved this. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this and the story that it tells. However, the rhythm in stanzas 1, 6, 7, 8, 13, and 14 is off. Most of these could be fixed by reading them out loud and deleting a word. In a few lines, you have two sentences stuck together without punctuation. This one is an example.

"I fear that I have gone much too far in I feel like bate. "

There needs to be some kind of punctuation between "in" and "I feel"
Also, "bate" should be spelled "bait."

If you fix these minor errors, this will be a great poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very Nice. I get a much better image in my mind reading it now. It tells the whole story and does so in a very smooth manner. I think I'll save this one. Great Job.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked it alot. I was a little disappointed that you didnt continue. What traps you in? What is the rest of the story. other than that it was good.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 22, 2009
Last Updated on January 22, 2009

Author

Debra Stevens Edwards (debby)
Debra Stevens Edwards (debby)

Long Beach, CA



About
I am a single parent of six daughters. I write as a release of emotions I'm feeling. At times I write to entertain my girls or just because I have something to say. My goal is to publish a book of .. more..

Writing