Saving up wishes for a rainy day

Saving up wishes for a rainy day

A Poem by Absentee Reality Check
"

this is intense emotinally for me , it is about child abuse if you miss it

"

The bright lightning crackles,
The thunder roars its dominance
And the earth watches
While the storm rages onward madly
Blinding me like a curtain


Rain like static is falling
And thunder screams out an angry chorus
Like me as fists strike
Like lightning carving
Dimples onto my soul

The storm hides in my mirror
I wish that I could cry
As openly as the sky
I wish bruises could dissipate
As fast as clouds


I sit alone in the dark,
  With only my own pain,
And rain outside,
Only then do I realize
Wishes don't come true
 

© 2008 Absentee Reality Check


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
... moved to tears ... i know this pain ... 100/100 ... and you definitely get my vote ...

Posted 11 Years Ago


A good write indeed. I liked how the description went deep, but not deep enough to bore the reader. Good job on his write and keep up the good work! ☺
~D♥m♥~

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very nicely written. I love how you use aspects of a storm to describe human pain- clouds are like bruises, rain is tears. This is a painfully beautiful piece. A lot of emotion comes from it. Well done!

-Howl

Posted 12 Years Ago


At first I didn't really like this piece, but upon rereading it I really do like a lot of the euphemisms that you used, it's great

Posted 12 Years Ago


I wish that I could cry
As openly as the sky
I wish bruises could dissipate
As fast as clouds

This is the verse that really got to me, how beautiful the words that are describing such ugliness is heart wrenching. I have often felt that way, and you word it so beautifully. This is a great poem full of emotion.

Posted 12 Years Ago


"I sit alone in the dark,
With only my own pain,
And rain outside,
Only then do I realize
Wishes don't come true" it's taken me a long time, but i've come to this realization too. an intense & dark piece of writing, so sad, & raw. "The storm hides in my mirror" i love the metaphor of this storm you've created. a great write.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I wish that I could cry
As openly as the sky
I wish bruises could dissipate
As fast as clouds


beautiful..... the feeling of pure helplessness.. the slaughter of hopes... its really heart wrenching...






Posted 13 Years Ago


Astonishting conbination of emotions and natural phenomenas.
The imagery is great, and the last two verses express more than seven sad poems.

Wonderful piece ---> post in more contests.

A.M.

Posted 13 Years Ago


such a deep an demotional write written so well....Kim

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

623 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 21, 2008

Author

Absentee Reality Check
Absentee Reality Check

VA



About
MyMottos- how i live my life " The Bible Contains six admonismanet to homosexuals and three hundred and sixty-two admonisments to heterosexuals.That dosen't mean God dosen't love heterosexuals, he ju.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Memory Memory

A Poem by Tate Morgan


Poetry Poetry

A Poem by Tate Morgan