An imagined history. This revision shortened to less than 600 words.
New Money575
Words (give or take)
The women
must think I am deaf, or a child. They say my granddaughter is to marry a white
man.When the pain goes away, I will
rise up and kill them both.Better for her
to be dead, and it is a long time since I killed a white man.
The French
priest comes by every day now.He brings
medicine in a blue bottle.He reads from
the black book, and I sleep.I do not think I ask for his medicine, but I
am no longer sure.
I was a man
once. Now my belly grows like a woman with child.I travail like a woman.I lie here listening for the wagon that
brings the priest and the medicine.
A guest,
Crooked Nose, has come from Ft.
McLeod. When he was a boy
his father and I rode with the Lakota and the Arapaho. Cheyenne were men in
those days. Now he walks with a long stick; all the way from Ft. McLeod with
his long stick… this will end soon; he would not have come otherwise.
“Can you
see?” Crooked Nose raised the lamp wick until it began to smoke, and then lowered it a
little.He pulled a tobacco sack from
his pocket and emptied it into my hand.
“What is
this?What have you given me?”
“A piece of
money, but not from Canada.Look, American money, no fat queen , no fat
king, new money, a new thing.”
There was a buffalo.I had not seen a buffalo in many
summers.“Tatanka, in your father’s time they covered the Earth, the dust of
the herds put out the sun.”
“Yes, yes I
know all this. The buffalo is good medicine, but there is better, turn the money
over.Tell me what you see.”
“One of the
People, an Indian.”
“Look
closer at this Indian.”
”It cannot
be.”
“Look again, and tell me that!”
Crooked Nose ordered.
He looked older than I remembered. His
fierceness vanished into stiff dignity, like those reservation Indians who stayed
in America
and posed for any photographer who offered a drink of whiskey, but it was
him.I was certain it was him.“Two Moons.This Indian on their money is Two Moons.”
A grin broke across Crooked Nose’s face and he
laughed.He held my hand and laughed
until I forgot the fire in my belly.I
joined him; I was, for a moment, once more a young man.I felt summer heat; I heard blood sing in my
ears; a taste of salted iron filled my mouth; and all that was then became now.I saw
the sloping hill above the Lakota village on the Greasy Grass
River, that water white
men call the Little Big Horn.I saw
horses, blue shirts, and arrows.I
watched Two Moons raise his arm, bloody to the elbow, high above his head.
I saw the yellow hair in his hand.
“May I keep this?” I asked Crooked
Nose.
He put the money back into the
tobacco sack and tied it around my neck with a leather thong.It was a good sign that he came to see
me.I no longer think I asked the French
priest for his medicine.I do not think
I have ever asked a white man for anything.
I felt v-e-r-y emotional as I read this v--e--r--y beautiful story, Delmar. I feel the French priest was giving sedative drugs to Tatanka, but cannot ascertain the reason why. I ssssssoooooo loved reading all the names of the Native American tribes. Crooked Nose brought healing with him on his visit from Ft. McLeod. So kind and generous of him to allow Tatanka to keep the new money and thanks also to his visit, Tatanka no longer needed the 'medicine' from the French priest! You are a natural storyteller. For me, the story was a very gripping one and I was captivated from the first to the last word, a very willing prisoner! An amazing write, eloquently inked. I so enjoyed reading. A heartfelt THANK YOU! for sharing, Delmar...
Posted 4 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Months Ago
Thank you for reading and for your comment. This tale has a built in backstory that allows it to be.. read moreThank you for reading and for your comment. This tale has a built in backstory that allows it to be related in a few words. That backstory may be peculiar to Americans though. Tatanka refers to the bison on the buffalo five cent piece that came into circulation during the time reference of this story. The obverse of this coin had an American Indian. I took the liberty of naming this person Two Moons and giving him credit for the scalping of General Custer. This fact known to the two men but not known among white men. The priest brought laudanum of course.
4 Months Ago
Thank you so very much for so kindly taking the time to explain the story behind your story, Delmar... read moreThank you so very much for so kindly taking the time to explain the story behind your story, Delmar. It makes more sense to me now through knowing the background. I am most grateful and thank you again...
I felt v-e-r-y emotional as I read this v--e--r--y beautiful story, Delmar. I feel the French priest was giving sedative drugs to Tatanka, but cannot ascertain the reason why. I ssssssoooooo loved reading all the names of the Native American tribes. Crooked Nose brought healing with him on his visit from Ft. McLeod. So kind and generous of him to allow Tatanka to keep the new money and thanks also to his visit, Tatanka no longer needed the 'medicine' from the French priest! You are a natural storyteller. For me, the story was a very gripping one and I was captivated from the first to the last word, a very willing prisoner! An amazing write, eloquently inked. I so enjoyed reading. A heartfelt THANK YOU! for sharing, Delmar...
Posted 4 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Months Ago
Thank you for reading and for your comment. This tale has a built in backstory that allows it to be.. read moreThank you for reading and for your comment. This tale has a built in backstory that allows it to be related in a few words. That backstory may be peculiar to Americans though. Tatanka refers to the bison on the buffalo five cent piece that came into circulation during the time reference of this story. The obverse of this coin had an American Indian. I took the liberty of naming this person Two Moons and giving him credit for the scalping of General Custer. This fact known to the two men but not known among white men. The priest brought laudanum of course.
4 Months Ago
Thank you so very much for so kindly taking the time to explain the story behind your story, Delmar... read moreThank you so very much for so kindly taking the time to explain the story behind your story, Delmar. It makes more sense to me now through knowing the background. I am most grateful and thank you again...
I thought this story was beautiful, in a way that makes me believe it might have taken a bit of emotional toil to complete. It suggests that you have a deep connection to the characters--maybe through a shared heritage? And even if not, it comes across impressively authentic. There's much to be said about a writer who can exhibit strong emotions, character building, and scene setting in fewer than 600 words; and without leaving the reader with that lack of closure, that closure that many short story writers seem to neglect. I plan revisit this story again. I find it inspirational in its sincerity. I admire your skill of writing vulnerably, but succinctly.
Posted 3 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Years Ago
Thanks for your flattering review. I have no relationship to the characters. I was reading the "Ol.. read moreThanks for your flattering review. I have no relationship to the characters. I was reading the "Old Farmer's Almanac" and came across a story about the buffalo nickel which led to speculation, limited research and with some personal knowledge of grumpy old men the story presented. Closure, yes, I like to read stories that actually end so I tend to write that kind of story. Sincerity? I have never considered sincerity a virtue. Hitler was sincere. I do like being succinct and if you leave out the modifiers and write with nouns, verbs and and articles it lessens the ballast. Thank you for your beautifully written review. It is the best one I have ever received.
This is impressively efficient storytelling! You have effectively presented the intertwined life stories of Two Moons and our narrator in a single death bed scene. As someone that "writes long" by nature, I am curious about what you excised from the first version.
There is also a great deal of history embedded in those 575 words. I inferred the narrator was a follower of Sitting Bull but did not return with him. Was that your intent?
Thanks for a very entertaining read!
Posted 3 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Years Ago
". I inferred the narrator was a follower of Sitting Bull but did not return with him. Was that your.. read more". I inferred the narrator was a follower of Sitting Bull but did not return with him. Was that your intent?"
Yes, the narrator is in my mind a Cheyenne who fought at Little Big Horn and later fled to and remained in Canada for the rest of his days. The longest version of this has about 1200 words; this was an effort to get to bone alone. The buffalo nickle and the monarch transition on the Canadian coins are date markers. Taken together the date of Little Big horn and the "Indian Head" nickle puts the narrator into extreme old age. I have four or five stories involving this character at different points in his life, "Strawberry Moon" here in the cafe' is one of them , but "New Money" is the only one in first person.
Thank you for reading, your questions and your generous comments.
pulled me right in I didn't even think about it... I was instantly inside. what a skill! This isn't a story I read I just stole somebody else's memory.
Posted 3 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Years Ago
If I could do poetry like you do poetry all I'd do would be poetry. But, I can't so I do this. read moreIf I could do poetry like you do poetry all I'd do would be poetry. But, I can't so I do this.
thanks for reading and for your gracious and flattering comment.
I've spent a fair amount of time reading mainly about how the plains natives were conquered by eliminating the buffalo and the still lasting, sorry after effects
I do see now that there is a movement to introduce buffalo back into large (prairie?) native reserves where there are large areas of unused grassland
Could something positive possibly happen?
Posted 3 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Years Ago
Dave Brown writes: "Could something positive possibly happen?"
Sure, but only if ther.. read moreDave Brown writes: "Could something positive possibly happen?"
Having taught U.S. history I feel more than just acquainted with the plight of the Native American. I tried reading "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" I was so disgusted I couldn't read more than a third of it. I did a research paper on the Effect of Alcohol on Native Americans. It dealt with how traders took advantage of the fact that they, physiologically, could not abide alcohol. I tried, while teaching, to develop more empathy for Native Americans.
Take care - Dave
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
I am delighted you found time to read my story and hope you enjoyed it. I don't maintain the story .. read moreI am delighted you found time to read my story and hope you enjoyed it. I don't maintain the story is historically perfect or even correct. It is fiction based on common ideas about the people and times.
4 Years Ago
Historically true or not, I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing. - Take care - Dave
There are things here that one may only understand if you walk in the shoes or wear the skin of the other. I will simply say that the writing does bring the reader into that curious place where we ponder for a while and try to understand things we may never, but we want to. And when a writer can make a reader stop to ponder and feel I would call it a success.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
I think any story has some measure of success if it gets read. I'm not consumed by ambition - that.. read moreI think any story has some measure of success if it gets read. I'm not consumed by ambition - that you read it enough.
"New Money"
Delmar Cooper, I see by your author's note, imagined history. Concise at six hundred words. It works.
I enjoyed the descriptiveness of the narrater and Crooked Nose. I suppose the point in being quite focused on the thoughts and direct feelings brought on by the piece of money is really a good tool. I found it refreshing. It's so nice to see how others approach descriptive blocks. Is this a chapter in something? I have a very distant norwegian great grandmother. Digging for information is the only way to bring her back to life. I wish more stories could be found. What info did you already have from your own family in putting your story together. I felt like I was allowed a l glimpse of one facet of human history since the world came to be with the sharing of this piece. Lovely!
Blessings,
Katthy
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thanks for reading. Bits of published history with a speculation sauce, no inside knowledge.