New Money

An imagined history. This revision shortened to less than 600 words.

 

New Money         575 Words (give or take)

 

            The women must think I am deaf, or a child. They say my granddaughter is to marry a white man.  When the pain goes away, I will rise up and kill them both.  Better for her to be dead, and it is a long time since I killed a white man.

            The French priest comes by every day now.  He brings medicine in a blue bottle.  He reads from the black  book, and I sleep.  I do not think I ask for his medicine, but I am no longer sure.

            I was a man once. Now my belly grows like a woman with child.  I travail like a woman.  I lie here listening for the wagon that brings the priest and the medicine.

            A guest, Crooked Nose, has come from Ft. McLeod. When he was a boy his father and I rode with the Lakota and the Arapaho. Cheyenne were men in those days. Now he walks with a long stick; all the way from Ft. McLeod with his long stick… this will end soon; he would not have come otherwise.

            “Can you see?” Crooked Nose raised the lamp wick until it began to smoke, and then lowered it a little.  He pulled a tobacco sack from his pocket and emptied it into my hand.

            “What is this?  What have you given me?”

            “A piece of money, but not from Canada.  Look, American money, no fat queen , no fat king, new money, a new thing.”

             There was a buffalo.  I had not seen a buffalo in many summers.  “Tatanka, in your father’s time they covered the Earth, the dust of the herds put out the sun.”

            “Yes, yes I know all this. The buffalo is good medicine, but there is better, turn the money over.  Tell me what you see.”

            “One of the People, an Indian.”

            “Look closer at this Indian.”

            ”It cannot be.”

“Look again, and tell me that!” Crooked Nose ordered.

 He looked older than I remembered. His fierceness vanished into stiff dignity, like those reservation Indians who stayed in America and posed for any photographer who offered a drink of whiskey, but it was him.  I was certain it was him.  “Two Moons.  This Indian on their money is Two Moons.”

 A grin broke across Crooked Nose’s face and he laughed.  He held my hand and laughed until I forgot the fire in my belly.  I joined him; I was, for a moment, once more a young man.  I felt summer heat; I heard blood sing in my ears; a taste of salted iron filled my mouth; and all that was then became now.  I saw the sloping hill above the Lakota village on the Greasy Grass River, that water white men call the Little Big Horn.  I saw horses, blue shirts, and arrows.  I watched Two Moons raise his arm, bloody to the elbow, high above his head.

 

I saw the yellow hair in his hand.

 

“May I keep this?” I asked Crooked Nose.

He put the money back into the tobacco sack and tied it around my neck with a leather thong.  It was a good sign that he came to see me.  I no longer think I asked the French priest for his medicine.  I do not think I have ever asked a white man for anything.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Any comment will be read respectfully. Some readers may have seen a longer version of this story.

Reviews

[49k_jdys]

I thought this story was beautiful, in a way that makes me believe it might have taken a bit of emotional toil to complete. It suggests that you have a deep connection to the characters--maybe through a shared heritage? And even if not, it comes across impressively authentic. There's much to be said about a writer who can exhibit strong emotions, character building, and scene setting in fewer than 600 words; and without leaving the reader with that lack of closure, that closure that many short story writers seem to neglect. I plan revisit this story again. I find it inspirational in its sincerity. I admire your skill of writing vulnerably, but succinctly.

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for your flattering review. I have no relationship to the characters. I was reading the "Old Farmer's Almanac" and came across a story about the buffalo nickel which led to speculation, limited research and with some personal knowledge of grumpy old men the story presented. Closure, yes, I like to read stories that actually end so I tend to write that kind of story. Sincerity? I have never considered sincerity a virtue. Hitler was sincere. I do like being succinct and if you leave out the modifiers and write with nouns, verbs and and articles it lessens the ballast. Thank you for your beautifully written review. It is the best one I have ever received.

[49k_jdys]

You're most welcome! Please keep writing!

[wtp]

This is impressively efficient storytelling! You have effectively presented the intertwined life stories of Two Moons and our narrator in a single death bed scene. As someone that "writes long" by nature, I am curious about what you excised from the first version.

There is also a great deal of history embedded in those 575 words. I inferred the narrator was a follower of Sitting Bull but did not return with him. Was that your intent?

Thanks for a very entertaining read!

[Delmar Cooper]

". I inferred the narrator was a follower of Sitting Bull but did not return with him. Was that your intent?"
Yes, the narrator is in my mind a Cheyenne who fought at Little Big Horn and later fled to and remained in Canada for the rest of his days. The longest version of this has about 1200 words; this was an effort to get to bone alone. The buffalo nickle and the monarch transition on the Canadian coins are date markers. Taken together the date of Little Big horn and the "Indian Head" nickle puts the narrator into extreme old age. I have four or five stories involving this character at different points in his life, "Strawberry Moon" here in the cafe' is one of them , but "New Money" is the only one in first person.
Thank you for reading, your questions and your generous comments.

[barleygirl]

You convey the mood & spirit & sound of this kind of conversation. It sounds authentic & reads like a compelling interesting little ditty (((HUGS)))

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for reading and your comment.
DC

[Robert Trakofler]

pulled me right in I didn't even think about it... I was instantly inside. what a skill! This isn't a story I read I just stole somebody else's memory.

[Delmar Cooper]

If I could do poetry like you do poetry all I'd do would be poetry. But, I can't so I do this.
read moreIf I could do poetry like you do poetry all I'd do would be poetry. But, I can't so I do this.

thanks for reading and for your gracious and flattering comment.

[Robert Trakofler]

LOL well "this" is great!

[Dave Brown]

I've spent a fair amount of time reading mainly about how the plains natives were conquered by eliminating the buffalo and the still lasting, sorry after effects
I do see now that there is a movement to introduce buffalo back into large (prairie?) native reserves where there are large areas of unused grassland
Could something positive possibly happen?

[Delmar Cooper]

Dave Brown writes: "Could something positive possibly happen?"

Sure, but only if there's money in it.

[penhive]

Interesting Story Cooper, I like the way you unraveled the plot. Also, the character sketch is unique

[Delmar Cooper]

Thank you for reading and letting me know. I appreciate your comments.

[Dave]

Having taught U.S. history I feel more than just acquainted with the plight of the Native American. I tried reading "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" I was so disgusted I couldn't read more than a third of it. I did a research paper on the Effect of Alcohol on Native Americans. It dealt with how traders took advantage of the fact that they, physiologically, could not abide alcohol. I tried, while teaching, to develop more empathy for Native Americans.

Take care - Dave

[Delmar Cooper]

I am delighted you found time to read my story and hope you enjoyed it. I don't maintain the story is historically perfect or even correct. It is fiction based on common ideas about the people and times.

[Dave]

Historically true or not, I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing. - Take care - Dave

[Ana Papaya]

There are things here that one may only understand if you walk in the shoes or wear the skin of the other. I will simply say that the writing does bring the reader into that curious place where we ponder for a while and try to understand things we may never, but we want to. And when a writer can make a reader stop to ponder and feel I would call it a success.

[Delmar Cooper]

I think any story has some measure of success if it gets read. I'm not consumed by ambition - that you read it enough.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"New Money"
Delmar Cooper, I see by your author's note, imagined history. Concise at six hundred words. It works.
I enjoyed the descriptiveness of the narrater and Crooked Nose. I suppose the point in being quite focused on the thoughts and direct feelings brought on by the piece of money is really a good tool. I found it refreshing. It's so nice to see how others approach descriptive blocks. Is this a chapter in something? I have a very distant norwegian great grandmother. Digging for information is the only way to bring her back to life. I wish more stories could be found. What info did you already have from your own family in putting your story together. I felt like I was allowed a l glimpse of one facet of human history since the world came to be with the sharing of this piece. Lovely!
Blessings,
Katthy

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for reading. Bits of published history with a speculation sauce, no inside knowledge.

[CD Campbell]

I have been watching Ken Burns "The West" on netflix for the past week so reading this comes at a weird time. Everybody feels bad about what happened and all, Manifest Destiny, but I still see those same people throw their McDonald's wrappers out their windows while they're driving down the road, wishing for more concrete. Crocodile tears? I do have a few tribal friends and it's not really a topic of conversation. So what's for this white boy to say? Anyway, I thought your story was pretty bang up. The dialogue was great and I never felt wanting for description at all. Mostly, it kept my attention, which nowadays is hard to do. CD

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for reading and commenting. I have only the stereotypical white guy knowledge of the stereotypical red guy native American. The people in the story are convenient actors with a built in story that saves an acre of backstory, as long as my reader knows at least a smidge of history that is. The story is about bitterness and irony the characters could have been chosen from a lot of different ethnic groups. If you know a smidge of history.