My Sadistic Lover

A Poem by DemitriJ

love conquers everything... even pain, and death.

The rain pours down outside my window,

the sky smoldered in gray.

I lay beneath this shroud as I slowly bleed out.

You stand above me... hovering.

Bloody tears stream down my counterance,

as I watch you walk away.

Holding my last breath, I cling on to this miserable life.

You raise a gun to your head.

My scream echos throughout the night

as you pull the trigger.

You fall to the ground; the light fades from my eyes.

Goodbye my only...

I'll see you in Hell, My Sadistic Lover.

© 2012 DemitriJ

Author's Note

tell me your honest opinion about it. Its my first time being on here and I want to know what everyone thinks of my writing.

My Review

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Featured Review

Shimmerbliss/CAF

This is very dark and intense and almost painful, yet I keep reading it over and over. I am unsure if this is fantasy about a past or present relationship, or if it actually happened and you survived. Either way, it is very intriguing. I literally have been sitting here for 20 minutes going over it. I'm glad you are sharing your work. I would love to see more of it. Really, this is haunting. It's always difficult to know if someone really wants input on a piece or not, but since you seemed to ask for it in your author's note I will say that you might tighten it up a bit...maybe, for example "the rain pours down from a smoldering sky..." type of thing, and perhaps clarify the background of the poem. I personally take it as a high compliment if someone who appreciates my writing will take the time to help me struggle over the 10 revisions I have of 2 lines! I hope to perhaps find that here. Anyway, this has been an experience, and I encourage you to keep writing and to work with this poem. It is disturbing at the deepest of levels, and yet, for me, rings of a certain something that anyone who has had a troubled love would get. Just my thoughts...hope you really wanted them.