Together

Together

A Poem by Desmund Tiny
"

as individual, we're weak but together as one...... we're strong enough

"

You really love to see everyone hurt

To be kick down and eat your dirt

but things will not be always the same

Because this time, you’ll be the one in the spiral of shame

                     

Don’t expect us to treat you well

when all you have done to us is disrespecting

We had enough of this crying and pleading

Now it is your turn to live a life in hell

 

Yes you are the one who’s really tough

But inside, you’re just a diamond in the rough

We may be small to you and weak

but together as one, we can be stronger than what you think

 

© 2012 Desmund Tiny


Author's Note

Desmund Tiny
........ >^.^<

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I can relate to this one! Err, I hate those people who nearly act like that. They think that they are the master? Well, show off. I like the intense power in this poem though again, you should work a little bit with the rhyme scheme. It sounded forced as I read it. But this was actually another great write.

...Layla...

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This was so nice and expressing poem ...
well done :D ...i loved the rhyme too :D

Posted 9 Years Ago


An expression of oppression summed up in poetry session. United we stand! Divided we fall. And “revenge is a dish best served cold.” Careful of “live a life in hell” rather “live in hell” –also suggest the oppressor shows promise as being a diamond in the rough – but also consider “But inside, you’re just a cream puff” –that could work –lol. Nice work Des, but I’d like to see a rewrite.

Posted 9 Years Ago


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tk
hmmm.. i'm thinking of someone while i'm reading this. he really suits this poem.. >:) haha!! i love the concept of this piece, the ideas are really great. :) but the last two lines seem confusing. maybe you can rearrange that.
anyway, a very interesting write! i enjoyed reading every bit of it..! :)
♥♥♥

Posted 9 Years Ago


I can relate to this one! Err, I hate those people who nearly act like that. They think that they are the master? Well, show off. I like the intense power in this poem though again, you should work a little bit with the rhyme scheme. It sounded forced as I read it. But this was actually another great write.

...Layla...

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

A good poem...I thought of someone I know while reading this...It reflects everything about "that" particular person! I think everyone can relate themselves here especially those people who have experienced some bullying problems in school or whatever...Nicely done...
:)))

Posted 9 Years Ago


A splendid read. The emotions expressed within reflect my own at the moment.

Posted 9 Years Ago


haha. :) Great poem, I can feel some intense emotions here.
And i love the choice of words in this poem.
Nice writing! I liked it! :D



Posted 9 Years Ago


Powerful emotions expressed here...
terrific work :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Well done..x

Posted 9 Years Ago


Wow, this is really good. You capture the feelings well here. I agree with this poem. It reminds me of someone bullying another, but the victims come together and rise up standing for each other no longer taking the hurt. I'm not sure if your poem is targeting a specific type of people or what.. but this is what i got from it. Great write. I loved it.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on January 22, 2012
Last Updated on January 22, 2012

Author

Desmund Tiny
Desmund Tiny

About
I just want the name "Desmund Tiny" because it is one of my favorite character in the Novel "Darren Shan" but you can call me Des. ^^, errr.. Hello to my old writings!~ wew it's been years I gues.. more..

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