Sliding Ribbon

Sliding Ribbon

A Poem by Destinyxi

Sliding Ribbon

 

My head is pounding

You want to get out

You’re punching at the walls

Of my oversensitive mind

 

My eyes are closing

The pain is too much to bear

You’re so relentless

Scratching and clawing

 

My hands are trembling

I’d drag you out if I could

You do me no good

You do yourself no good

 

My heart is pumping

You’re making me anxious

I want you to get out

Get out of my thoughts

 

You slide your way

Through the ribbons

Of my ideas

Looking through the windows

Of my mind

The windows

That show you my insides

You find yourself at the bottom

Of this long, swirling slide

Right to the place between my eyes

So you roll my eyes backwards

And roll yourself out

You roll yourself free

Out of my thoughts

But taking the glimpses

Of my insides with you

 

My head is pounding

And my eyes are hurting

My hands are shaking

And my heart is thumping

You’re never getting back in

It never did me any good

And it never did you any good

© 2012 Destinyxi


Author's Note

Destinyxi
So, I have a headache, and to get rid of the headache, I wrote this poem. It's a bit..unusual. I don't know what I was trying to get at.

But, as usual, I'm sharing it with you guys :)
You know the drill, let me know what you think! (so I don't feel like a complete weirdo)

Oh, and check out the picture, it's pretty

My Review

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Reviews

I thought it was about a rotten relationship, the person constantly plaguing your mind, until finally they leave. But with so much of you still attached.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Maybe a bit different in inspiration than most poems but I liked it. You tell them headaches! Did it work, attempting to write it away? Either way, fun poem to read, and I've naught to complain about with this one. And yes the picture is pretty. :P

Posted 11 Years Ago


Haha I actually have a headache myself (probably due to sleep deprivation) and this just "sounds" like a headache, or something one would write while having to endure one...luckily for you, you can still write (and write well cuz this is really good :)) whereas I just get kind of blobbish lol

Posted 11 Years Ago


Destinyxi

11 Years Ago

I find I wrote sort of 'blobbish' too. I generally think this poem is weird haha :P but maybe I'm be.. read more
kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

I think you're being too hard on yourself...this is a really eloquent and lyrical portrayal of a the.. read more
Haha, I read the poem before reading your notes, and, well, given the other work of yours I'd seen, I totally sexualised the entire thing in my head (eyes rolling back, glimpses of insides, etc.)... Don't worry, I re-read it after I realised what it was actually about! Still feeling like a total perv, though. You must've really set yourself a precedent in my mind with your sultry stuff. :P

But hey, take it as a compliment that your poem is open to such vast interpretation... Cryptic = Good!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Destinyxi

11 Years Ago

Yeesh, I'm not all about erotica! :P

haha, that's kind of funny, but I guess it can co.. read more
well the wordings make a point ,good poem

Posted 11 Years Ago


Destinyxi

11 Years Ago

Thank you!
i think it's fantastic...although the idea of a headache or pain is plain...it's still very sultry, girl...nice word play and structure

Posted 11 Years Ago


gombeggar

11 Years Ago

certainly seems so by your wording...of course i do have a dirty mind to begin with
Destinyxi

11 Years Ago

haha, might be your mind, I can't image this poem being.. sultry. Or, at least, that wasn't my inten.. read more
gombeggar

11 Years Ago

well good piece none the less ;)
And what is it about?

Posted 11 Years Ago


Destinyxi

11 Years Ago

Read the authors note
Steven Cash

11 Years Ago

gotcha :) sorry
Destinyxi

11 Years Ago

not a problem :)
lol I never actually thought it was about a headache. It sounds more like something someone with schizophrenia or whatever would write. Like about an internal demon or something. :) Haha I love it!

Posted 11 Years Ago


That_Girl

11 Years Ago

.....we can co-lead... final offer. ;)
Destinyxi

11 Years Ago

fine fine
That_Girl

11 Years Ago

Atta girl. ;)
great piece and im sorry for your headache. it sucks that bad things have to happened to us in order for us to write great poems

I want you to get out
Get out of my thoughts

Ohhh how i felt like that many times. awesome piece



Posted 11 Years Ago


Destinyxi

11 Years Ago

It's alright, it's gone now :)

Thanks for your review Dan!
Crazy Cat Man

11 Years Ago

im glad ur headache is gone now :D

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688 Views
22 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 19, 2012
Last Updated on September 19, 2012

Author

Destinyxi
Destinyxi

Canada



About
I'm back after a 10 year hiatus. I write poetry and erotic short stories. Feel free to check out my work 😊 more..

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