A Void

An attempt at trying something unfamiliar.

Since the creation of man,

the seed of moroseness and sheer sorrow has been cultivated throughout vast lands, 

being planted within dry and withering grasses. 

There, it thrives and grows unbeknownst to those 

who inhabit the land but will soon take leave to

abandon their villages.

Such a seed does not grow to be tarnished, 

or simply wither away quite easily. 

Nor does it miss its destination often times like the

live sperm of a male.

It sprouts out of the ground and appears withered to its caregivers

who will then

till this bit of the land.

The farmer, tending to his crop, will quickly dig

out the seed, 

and carry it to a much more relative location on the farm.

There, it will continue to thrive until it discovers 

its caregiver's cracks;

Cracks that shine into his true self 

that the seed will inevitably 

devour.

At this point, it has gained a sense of comprehending its surroundings,

and will quickly start to understand the farmer's 

daily routine.

From there, the farmer returns to this small and wet spot of land

where he had moved the 

minuscule 

seed.

There, its roots grow stronger, 

as the farmer's hope grows more

 feeble 

with each passing day.

Abandoned.

Soon, the lot becomes overgrown,

and due to the farmer's 

hindsight upon the fact that his wife has discovered about his

infidelity,

decided to sell the lot, 

leaving a metaphorical seed of anguish, of sorrow, of guilt,

to grow despite the changing of times 

and the constant roaring of the tides;

lapping against the rocks, blessed with erosion, that 

quickly

swallowed 

the seed

 to sea.

And there it grows, beneath

rows 

of aquatic plants and lively fishes,

 waiting for a desperate victim to care of it, filling

the desolate void of

human error.

Author's Note

The marks humans leave are too often scars.

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The start of this just took me... and the lines are vivid... as you go about describing the events of the write... I see you favor the word:

minuscule

you use that word in your other verse I read... this gives the reader a focal point and just takes you to the conclusion...

[Neville]

I totally agree with your 'Authors remarks'

I also tend to agree with some of my reviewing predecessors, in particular those expressed by my good friend Sami

[L.Edward]

Awash with a flood of metaphor. Words swim in the pools left behind, entrancing the reader with their dying breaths. Can they be saved, should they be saved?

[Saifer]

Indeed. Sadly, humans seem to subconsciously lead themselves to pain and anguish. Like a babe touching a candlelight again and again, its cries stabbing the silence of the dark. This piece is very philosophical. Comparing Sorrow to a plant that is cultivated would suggest that it thrives under man's care "i.e. the farmer". The part about the plant not missing its mark and associating it with the male reproductive "ahem" ingredient made me cringe slightly. The plant's increasing intelligence and self awareness gave it a life-like property. An Evolution of Despair, where sadness grows and learns, sharpens its fangs and discovers the weakness and habits of its prey. And the paramount element of the whole piece, in my opinion, is the swallowing of the seed in the sea. There it waits, under a cold watery blanket of darkness, for an unfortunate prey. I apologize. My analysis is long, but short ended. Exploring a poem such as this gives me a sensation of drowning. The more I analyze and delve into it, the more I find myself lost in its deep abyss of meaning.

[zainul]

A marvelous piece.
The shape or structure is awesome.
The repeated efforts of the farmer to grow a crop is quite interesting matter.
The total poem is wonderfully woven to express situations or events that surround life and family.
For me,to understand this 'unfamiliar' thing I need to read it more carefully.
However,I am impressed by many of the sentences of the long piece.Some of which are:
"Since the creation of man,
the seed of moroseness and sheer sorrow has been cultivated throughout vast lands,
being planted within dry and withering grasses."

[soliloquy]

I see a lot of wisdom in this. Well done.

[Zero_Edge88]

("The attempts that man should never be afraid to do is the attempt of making a living." ~ I had a fascinating dream involving that quote this evening. Thought I should share that :) )

Now onto review:
"For what is despair to us when we learn we are capable of creating it in a single breath. This is life. It takes a certain decadence to even create such meals in our mind so that we feel dejected and lost. Even more it takes a certain turn in our life where it becomes the inescapable, inevitable and invariable. We call this, a void. In this case that is the path of where our hearts are when we feel lost and forgotten. However in nature, void and despair make the man seem powerful over their creators as they trample those who deem unworthy of their time. In human feeling we can be intoxicated by such feelings we lose sight of who we are. Therefore...

Where we feel ourselves left out, Hope is ready to take us by its wings. It's the one that never gets clipped by our conscience. It is refined and processed through the difficulties that we face everyday. Chances of living out to the fullest is somewhere between today and tomorrow. The degree of it will never cover how we are to live our lives. Instead we must take it in by stride that we will do everything we can to build that little seed called hope."

Thank you for the share. Have a beautiful Sunday today :)

[Malette]

I like the somewhat humility of the farmer despite the pain he causes to the wife, and his abandonment to the seed.

[Sami Khalil]

"And there it grows, beneath

rows

of aquatic plants and lively fishes,

waiting for a desperate victim to care of it, filling

the desolate void of

human error."
A very deep and well written poem on humans and their effects on everything...Bravo

[Rees Thomas]

this is brilliant :) love it