Bravery II

A continuation of the story.

 

 

 

[link to Bravery www.writerscafe.org/writing/DocRogers/127834/]

 

Wei and Zhang stood staring across the shallow river, their master’s form slowly fading with distance. They no longer could hear the sound of the horse’s hooves. The murmur in the camp grew. They watched as the General disappeared from view. A sense of loss of action overcame them. Looking around, it was the same camp. The white linen tents still covered the valley leading to the ford. The trees and undergrowth were still dark, gray, foreboding, and damp from the earlier rains. A mist had come up the river slowly creeping across the stony banks. The air was chill.

 

            “What do we do now, Master Wei?”

 

Wei turned to the young boy they called Xiaxia as if now only taking notice of him. Tears were streaming down his face. Xiaxia, the boy rescued by the General. He thanked the General so many times it became his name. The boy who loved the General as only a boy could. He worshipped the General.

 

Wei looked around the camp as the soldiers milled about seeking answers to questions that had no answers. The officers had come out of their tents and began making inquiries. Direction and order had to come or this army would soon desert. There was only one thing they could do. Wei looked to Zhang who sensed Wei looking at him and turned to face him. Unspoken questions passed between them. Zhang simply nodded.

 

            “Xiaxia, there is only one choice. We follow the General.” The boy’s eyes brightened. “Go get your gear.”

 

Wei turned to his modest campsite near the General’s tent. He kicked dirt into the fire and began gathering and ordering his gear. As he was finishing, Zhang returned with two horses and a stout pony.

 

            “I thought we would need these.”

 

Wei nodded in return. He helped Zhang to hobble the horses. They returned to their gear and began to assemble the complicated pieces. Zhang checked Wei’s armor was securely strapped in place. Wei did likewise. They were quiet. No words had passed between them. They were set in their minds that their duty lay with the General and his fate. They packed the few things they would need on their horses and ensured the pony’s saddle was well positioned for Xiaxia to ride.

 

Wei turned toward the sound of padded feet running toward him hurriedly. Xiaxia had managed to scrounge up bits of padded armor and a leather jerkin. They would have laughed at the sight of him in armor obviously too large for one his size, but the seriousness of the moment put away such thoughts. He only managed a smile for the boy and his predicament. Wei and Zhang inspected him. They adjusted his armor as best they could and led him to his pony.

 

            “I know you can ride, Xiaxia, but stay close to us and do not make noise. The General’s life may depend on it.”

 

Satisfied with their inspections, Wei and Zhang reached into their packs to pull out their surcoats and put them on.

 

            “Xiaxia, come here.” It was Zhang who directed the boy. “We had planned on giving you this after the General’s permission. We had it made for you.” Reaching into his pack once again, Zhang pulled out a small, wrapped package and handed it to the boy. “You serve the General, too. You should look the part.”

 

Xiaxia bowed deeply as he received the package. His eyes questioned whether he could open it in their presence. They nodded that he should. He tore into the package. Inside it was a linen cloth surcoat, a single black word on a white field, bravery. With tears in his eyes, he reverently donned the surcoat. With some minor adjustments by his two elders, he now looked like a miniature version of Wei and Zhang.

 

They led Xiaxia to his pony and helped him up. “Hold the straps well, as you were taught,” Zhang admonished. “Here is your lance. Stay close to us,” Wei said sternly.

 

Wei and Zhang clasped arms briefly, locking each other’s eyes momentarily. They turned and mounted their horses. Picking up their lances resting along the side of the General’s tent, they turned and headed for the shallows of the ford.

 

The men of the camp moved out of the way of the horses and the pony as the three warriors headed beyond the edge of the camp. A voice called to them. They continued moving. The voice shouted to them in a commanding voice. They halted and turned to see the officer who commanded them.

 

            “Where do you think you are going at this hour and before a great battle?”

 

            “We follow the General.” It was Xiaxia who spoke up. The other two riders looked down at their charge and nodded in agreement.

 

            “We follow the General,” Wei replied as he turned his horse back to the river.

The water smoothed stones glistened in places where the moon shown through the mist. A few splashes and they were across the ford. They turned their mounts northward and made for the pass the General had taken. As the officer stood on the stones along the bank of the river, he watched as three surcoats disappeared into the night. All he could make out as the light faded was three white fields with a single word written upon them, bravery.

 

Reviews

[Adam Chambers]

sound of the horses hooves... kicking dirt in the fire...
these are the short, impactful phrases that seem to be your descriptive calling card. I am liking your style alot... Must say you are very "Brave" as well as a writer in taking on unique, interesting, not-so-common scenarios. Science fiction in some of your stuff, dealing with concept of extraterrestrial life-- not an easy one to tackle without coming across as hokey..; now, what seems like historical fiction set in feudal China... Very brave and very interesting....
Xiaxia: very good, succinct, character development. I am getting this boy immediately, and as in your previous writing you have created a cinematic moment in my mind, very quickly and clearly.
I am getting the relationship between Xiaxia and Zhang, too. The moments where things are silently communicated between them. You have captured something very "Oriental" in essence in a genuine way.
The "Bravery" image that emerges in two different ways is also poignant.
This seems to be taking the direction of something epic, and without making an obvious comparison, strikes me as maybe a better and more interesting development for the "Last Samurai" genre. Definite cinematic potential. Or historical fiction.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

just read bravery 1 .. so i do remember well ... this is sad being about war .. the story is interesting and i do hope you have some time to write more so we can read what happens next.
wonderful story thus far..

Chloe
xoxo

[Rain]

I just found this. Somehow it got put in another folder. I remember it now. It is still compelling. I want to keep one and two together. Have you posted the reat. This has great dialogue, which is so crucial. Great job. Rain..

[TL Boehm]

ah yes, its been a while but I was immediately brought back into the story. Well done. I hope you are able to continue. I know time is a constraint for so many writers.

[Donald Meikle]

The attention to details as you let the story tell itself is a knack I am envious of. You give me hope for improvement.

[Cold Coffee Magazine]

Your writing is magnificent. The way you lead into each character's thoughts and deliver the reader into the characters world was smooth and inviting. I think alot of writers I've met that have promise should read this to rise to the next level. I could see the actions and feel the desires of the players. I don't know that you could have fleshed thisout any better. Well done.

Dave

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

By request, more of the story.