Color Vision Deficiency

Color Vision Deficiency

A Poem by Dominick

 

Color Vision Deficiency
A Poem by Dominick
 
 
I am blind.
Blind to the aspects of color as you see them
but I can interpret the spectrum as no one else can.
My visual stimulus reacts in ways one can only imagine,
yet my monochrome eyes see two:
me and you.
 
Even without color
I can see your many different wavelengths
pushing through the air letting me know that once again
I have a deficiency.
I still have the ability to see light stimuli along a single dimension
like the black through grey to white dimension of human vision.
Your emotions come in many colors.
Unfortunate colors that I may possibly never comprehend.
 
I can only guess,
that white is a fluffy bunny tail
caressing my skin like a soft blanket in the winter,
making the cold lonely nights that bite at my flesh,
but most of all my being,
almost bearable.
 
What is your hue?
What is your saturation of color?
My eyes will never see the complete spectrum of the rainbow.
But know this,
the tears you shed
are a clear liquid flowing down your face
like the condensation on my glass of lemonade on a scorching summers day
and yes,
this I can see clearly.
 
As simple as night and day
I can interpret the wondrous revelations
that our relationship has manifested.
Like all the classic analogies made to allow me to decipher color
I too, tried to create such references to show that I
am what you are looking for.
Only to discover the same well known fact that was by no means a mystery,
but just a thought molecule roaming free in the cranial walk of life.
We are both blind.
 
Blind to the simple forces of nature
that attempts to alter life as it sees fit.
Changing my chromatic contrasts,
Rearranging my binocular stereopsis
to allow me to see beyond the depths of my face
into alternate dimensions of the soul.
Arming me with my photonic like fists of rage,
bursting with energy and life yet no determined target.
 
My truth,
heavily shaded with dark lies;
lies that will one day eat at the core of my eternal illuminosity,
will one day bring forth a new light
that hits the beads of water to form a magnificent rainbow.
One day all the colors of my inner being,
that my monochrome dilemma appear to hide,
will be elucidated.
Set free for all to absorb
no matter what deficiencies may lurk inside.
 
Yes I see color.
I see the colors of love and life.
The colors of love and life that you,
not me,
are blind to.
 
My reality,
I will never see the misleading ambiguity
that spills out from those with
color vision.
But one day you will turn to absorb my presence,
my heat signature,
the many characteristics of my face while I look at you,
my want,
my lust,
my anticipation,
my love.
It is then, and only then
Will you realize
what lies
in these real eyes

and which of us has the true deficiency.

 

 

© 2008 Dominick


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Featured Review

This is a very thorough exploration of colourblindness, longing and thought processes.

"I can only guess,
that white is a fluffy bunny tail
caressing my skin like a soft blanket in the winter,
making the cold lonely nights that bite at my flesh,
but most of all my being,
almost bearable." - this is a great demonstration of the limits placed on a person with colourblindness, as well as being of a person who shakes off those limits in determination to know. I think another simple example like this would have been nice, as these imagined associations are appealing to read.

"My truth,
heavily shaded with dark lies,
Lies that will one day eat at the core of my eternal illuminosity" - the capitalisation seems inconsistent here; shouldn't that second "Lies" have a lowercase 'l'? Also, i suggest that you exchange the comma after the "lies" in line two, with a ';', as it's sort of grammatically incorrect the way it is.

"yet my monochrome eyes see two," - i'd end this with a ':' instead of a comma, to induce a pause and increase the impact of "me and you".

The imagery and vocabulary you have employed within this poem are impressive to absorb, and add to how interesting and entertaining a read this is.

I think you've done a great job, and really enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for posting it.

Good luck with the contest.

Posted 14 Years Ago


8 of 8 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I have to agree with the others here, very insightful. It leaves a lasting impression on the reader. Just when I thought I knew where you were going with this it takes a twist to leave the reader somewhat stunned. For those that can relate it is moving beyond believe. If there was any literature that makes you want to jump out of your seat and scream YEAH!! it's this one. "The colors of love and life that you, not me, are blind to" -- the mixture of true technical terminology mixed with excellent metaphors puts this literature into a class of its own. Bravo.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like it, I really do, and I think the second half is especially strong. But maybe, it's too long? Sometimes I write long intricate poems and cut them down to half a page, just keeping the gold, you know? I think this poem has some lines of terrific insight and wonder, and love how they put the reader into the speaker's spectrum of sight.

One thing that bothers me when reading this, though, is the hint of arrogance, in lines like "I can interpret the spectrum as no one else can" and "I see the colors of love and life. / The colors of love and life that you, / not me, / are blind to." It's like, you're trying to show what it's like with these vivid descriptions (which you do so well), and then saying, well you don't know what it's like at all. It's almost putting the reader down, saying, you can't relate to me, or any of this. I would change that, but hey, it's only a suggestion, the poem's form is ultimately up to you.

Overall though I'm glad I read it, thanks for entering my contest!

Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Wow! You've said it all and then some.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Dominick, I am impressed with the number of poems I've read from you. I'm finding it hard to say any more good things that I can say about your work. You are an impressive poet.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

My reality,
I will never see the misleading ambiguity
that spills out from those with
color vision.
But one day you will turn to absorb my presence,
my heat signature,
the many characteristics of my face while I look at you,
my want,
my lust,
my anticipation,
my love.
It is then, and only then
Will you realize
what lies
in these real eyes
and which of us has the true deficiency.

Very powerful ending I really like the different twist in this poem Very interesting, very captivating, and very very well written. I will admit to having my dictionary on hand during this poem but that made it even more fun for me!

Great Job!

~Frances~

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This is really a well-written and well-thought out poem, and what you say is so true here. Who has the deficiency? There are things beyond physical sight that are more significant as you say and I believe that too.

I'm really happy that I read this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 3 people found this review constructive.

"Nyeh . . ." Is all I could really express. . . I got not vibe from it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 5 people found this review constructive.

This piece is well written, and you've chosen your words very carefully. But what strikes me as great about this piece is the sheer wisdom behind each stanza.

Posted 14 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Even without color
I can see your many different wavelengths
pushing through the air letting me know that once again
I have a deficiency.
I still have the ability to see light stimuli along a single dimension
like the black through grey to white dimension of human vision.
Your emotions come in many colors.
Unfortunate colors that I may possibly never comprehend.........

a captivating and thought provoking peice.
Lovely write

Posted 14 Years Ago


6 of 6 people found this review constructive.

This is a very thorough exploration of colourblindness, longing and thought processes.

"I can only guess,
that white is a fluffy bunny tail
caressing my skin like a soft blanket in the winter,
making the cold lonely nights that bite at my flesh,
but most of all my being,
almost bearable." - this is a great demonstration of the limits placed on a person with colourblindness, as well as being of a person who shakes off those limits in determination to know. I think another simple example like this would have been nice, as these imagined associations are appealing to read.

"My truth,
heavily shaded with dark lies,
Lies that will one day eat at the core of my eternal illuminosity" - the capitalisation seems inconsistent here; shouldn't that second "Lies" have a lowercase 'l'? Also, i suggest that you exchange the comma after the "lies" in line two, with a ';', as it's sort of grammatically incorrect the way it is.

"yet my monochrome eyes see two," - i'd end this with a ':' instead of a comma, to induce a pause and increase the impact of "me and you".

The imagery and vocabulary you have employed within this poem are impressive to absorb, and add to how interesting and entertaining a read this is.

I think you've done a great job, and really enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for posting it.

Good luck with the contest.

Posted 14 Years Ago


8 of 8 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 11, 2008
Last Updated on June 6, 2008

Author

Dominick
Dominick

NY



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