A Poem

An impossible love story.

I needn’t stroke your silken hair
or touch rose petal skin.
The type of love I have for you....
it burns from deep within.

While in my soul the fires rage,
and nothing is consumed.
My spirit wanders aimlessly,
from room to darkened room.

The proper words I cannot say,
to show you my great love.
Yet here I’m staring at your face,
while you look from above.

Still my heart stirs with great desire,
to reach up and touch you.
As these feelings that I’m feeling,
I know they’re in you too.

 

But you will someday think of me,
when this book you have closed.
And I am just a memory....
and not the one you chose.

Alas...
Of all that I have looked up at,
‘tis you I wished I’d known.
For yours is a breathing spirit,
and mine.... I’m just a poem.

 

A Sean Allen Poem

© 2006 D McDaniel Hayden

Reviews

[Edward James]

With 50+ reviews, I doubt I can tell you anything new or groundbreaking as far as analysis goes, so I'll say that I really do like this poem. I'm a sucker for old fashioned rhyme schemes and rhythm, and not being a visual person, for me the aural sensation of reading a poem is quite often every bit as important as the message conveyed. Saying that, I love the pulse of this piece, and the idea that a poem (whether yours or someone else's) is observing and caring for you in the same way you do it is quite pleasant. I think I may have to reevaluate some poetry after reading this.

Nice write, I look forward to reading more

Edward

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The meter and flow was exceptional up to this stanza,
"Still my heart stirs with great desire,
to reach up and touch you.
As these feelings that I’m feeling,
I know they’re in you too."

It would be easy to make the flow continue with the same meter as the other verses but it doesn't. And the last stanza flounders a bit as well. I think you could very easily change a word or two to make the flow continual throughout. As for content, the thoughts and feelings expressed here are lovely and heartwarming. It's such a tender and humble piece of work filled with longing and beauty. Highest marks for content.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I just read this again- such a lovely poem .. need to save it...

Alas...
Of all that I have looked up at,
‘tis you I wished I’d known.
For yours is a breathing spirit,
and mine... I’m just a poem.

Lovely!

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is very beautiful. The detail of your words were amazing. You are a poet. Your words powerful and strong awake tire spirit and hope with your words. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[JENY]

Wow….
Fantastic…..
Really nice…
One of the best writings….
I went through….
this week…..

[Michael X]

You have nailed the meter in this poem and it should be read around
the world, I don't know why, by the concept draws me to dreaming as well as many others i am sure. its as if to wonder upon the grace.. the face of a beautiful desire, on a brilliant level, it is the pureness of sentimentalism, timeless and will last through the ages donn, this is
a poem with special properies

[TheKaylaPup]

This is beautiful. Just a poem is an understatment to an exterme extent. I love it.

Edit:
I don't know what you did to change your poem, but I still love it

[Christina May Shanaberg]

This is such a lovely poem about the yearning to be loved by someone. I really was wowed by the last line. Great writing!

[Stacey Watts]

This was a very beautiful and well written poem. I like the way it flows.

[ettorney]

At times I read the poem thinking it is to a dearly departed. At other moments I think it is to a living lover. By the end I realized the love and the bond your writing about is so strong that the difference is irrelevant. Ironic, the proper words, unknown to the narrator, were found by the author.

Nicely done.

[emma]

An amazingly tender and heartbreaking write, the emotions here run so deep I could feel the ache in my chest as I read. Beautiful!!