An Identity Crisis

An Identity Crisis

A Poem by Emily
"

Who am I? Have you ever felt the suffocation of an identity crisis? Where can you look to restore your image?

"
"Who am I?" I shout to the sky, hands outstretched in the pitiable display of a wretch. 
A sliver of light streams down from a dusty window to catch me in my wild eyes. It pierces my soul like acid, and all my rational thoughts are replaced with an animalistic howl. I crumple to the ground where I stand, my writhing hands clawing desperately at my ears to block out the light. 

I am a beast that sulks in the darkness. The shadows are my home where I wallow in sin. Even the smallest glimmer of celestial light causes me to release a blood-curtling scream like the ravage wolf that I am. 

The sun, like screeching fingernails on chalkboard, clefts my very being in two with cruel, burning tendrils of fire. The pain is too much. My surrendered body lied convulsing on the cold, stone floor. My legs are clenched tightly to my chest in a primal instinct to protect my racing heart. 

To escape the searing needles, my mind flees to blissful emptiness. Here, there are no thoughts. I do not think; I do not feel; I certainly am not masochised by painful daggers of luminessence. Here in my fortified defense, I exist, but I do not love. 

From within the white-washed barricade of my carefully closed off conscience, a whisper slips through. I don't know how it has sidled past my carefully constructed walls of passiveness and disillusionment, and yet it persists. It slips under the door cracks, it seeps though walls like a river. I try to stop it. In my room, I am safe. But like a single finger in a bursting dyke, all my efforts are in vain, I curl up once even tighter and watch with panic that matches the rise of the flood that breaks down the last of my paper-thin defenses. The encroaching waters are unavoidable. i hold my breath and take the plunge, expecting icy-cold fingers to leech away my lifeblood. 

But the claws of pain never come. Instead, the river embraces me like a comforting hug or warm blanket, and i realize that I have just been rescued from a terrible burden and gained a wonderful peace. 

My salty tears mingle with the shimmering waters, and I laugh at how I could have thought of them as anything other than life-giving salvation from my empty shell of a life. Now that the stillness of the river is reflectedin my own concience, I notice a cloud shift and a single ray of golden light reach toward me. This time, the warmth of the glowing strand flows triumphantly through me like warm honey, filling my empty limbs with purpose and the identity that I had lacked. A still, small voice caresses my mind like a warm breeze, 

"My child, you are mine."

© 2012 Emily


Author's Note

Emily
Please be honest- Thank you!

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Featured Review

I am speechless... This is so powerful and I love the descriptions and the feelings and it just screams itself out in my head and...You are an incredible, stunning writer, and I can hardly believe you're 17 (lol that coming from a 15 year old :P)... i just love this :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily

6 Years Ago

Wow, thank you! I'm so glad that you could feel my words like that! Thank you for taking the time to.. read more
CindyLu

6 Years Ago

uhh not in particular... just read whatever you like of mine :) I'm new and don't do the whole read-.. read more



Reviews

Review for Change the World Comp

You have described the point of acknowledgment impressively well. Acceptance is painless but getting there is agony. Denial is a comfort blanket but you will sleep wrapped in very cold blankets. So chose to accept and the blankets will be warm but the bed becomes one of nails. So often the light can be more painful than the darkness. Epically explained and with such honesty and emotional ingenuity. Very weel done

Posted 6 Years Ago


This is really something, the way you have both presented it physically along side the use of first person allows it to read as if we are almost taking thoughts straight from your head! Very engaging! I think this is something that definitely deserves to be questioned, naturally we yearn to know WHO we are and how we discover ourselves, are we defined by our actions or intentions, our desires and our allies? Particularly with writers and our often frustrating tendency to over-think this is an area close to heart! Really enjoyed reading this!

Posted 6 Years Ago


I love the transition from the dark into the light. Your writing is so beautiful and I enjoy every piece I read of yours. I am fascinated by your style of writing and when I see a read request for one of your pieces I get excited. Thank you for sharing this wonderful work... I definitely enjoyed it :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Gosh, I don't even know what to say. You can tell someone is a good writer when their writing is above your head. I did my best to understand this piece, and it is really really beautiful. It starts out so painful and dark, but it becomes so happy and tranquil. I could only wish to have talent like this. Bravo! :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Truly stunning, from beginning to end i was simply speechless. It has a sense of power that just roles off of it.The ending was truly wonderful. You are a very gifted writer.

Posted 6 Years Ago


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Tex
no words can express how wonderful is is to be taken along on a ride in your writing.

Thank you for this.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I am speechless... This is so powerful and I love the descriptions and the feelings and it just screams itself out in my head and...You are an incredible, stunning writer, and I can hardly believe you're 17 (lol that coming from a 15 year old :P)... i just love this :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily

6 Years Ago

Wow, thank you! I'm so glad that you could feel my words like that! Thank you for taking the time to.. read more
CindyLu

6 Years Ago

uhh not in particular... just read whatever you like of mine :) I'm new and don't do the whole read-.. read more
its beautifully written :D i was impress :D keep it up, mate

-conie:D

Posted 6 Years Ago


Emily

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much! :D I will!
Ditto to what Flores said. Amazing especially for your age. Keep it up! :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my piece. :) I'm so glad you like.. read more
Emily, I read your work, then your bio and I can honestly say I don't even think I am qualified to critique your work. Actually, I am amazed. Your writing is incredible and in my humble opinion worthy of you thinking of a possible career in this filed. Your review of my work stuns me. You are in a class of your own.........wonderful work.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily

6 Years Ago

Wow, what a complement! I hardly know how to respond, but thank you so much! I am so greatful and ho.. read more

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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 13, 2012
Last Updated on December 13, 2012
Tags: Identity, crisis, identity crisis, room, light, trapped, ocean, scream, wolf

Author

Emily
Emily

WA



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"If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can satisfy, also we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for another world." -C.S Lewis I find that I am able to express.. more..

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