01~ You Have The Wrong Girl

01~ You Have The Wrong Girl

A Chapter by TheGeekGirls

~Jensen~

"I swear you got the wrong girl!" I say as I struggle against the security officers.

"Tell it to the councilmen!" He barks as he drags me along.

Two hours later, I am standing in front of Councilman Lee, being lectured on the importance of honesty and how stealing affects everyone. "Since it's your first official offence, we will only have you in jail for two days."

"Two days?!" I burst before Police Chief Beifong knocks me out cold.

~Jenniphine~

I saw the whole thing: the arrest, the trial, the sentence and that odd burst of power. This girl 'Jensen' has my face and right now is taking the blame for all my crimes. I pull my red hood up further onto my head. My paranoia kicks in and I find myself looking around and over my shoulder at least fifty times in the next minute, scared of being found out.

I make it back to the trash heap with no hurry, as far as everyone knows I'm in prison. "Where've you been?" Liliann asks me as she climbs into my lap.

"Don't worry about it," I say as I hug her. "Nobody will be looking for me anymore."

"Why?" She questions.

"Because some other girl got thrown into jail for looking like me," I reply with a shrug. I can't really concern myself with small things like that. Orphans living on the street must do what they can to survive.

Lil pouts. "Break her out. You shouldn't let others pay the price for...what we do." She's right, I nod and promise her that I will break her out tonight.

"Hey Jen!" Drake says as he sits down next to me.

"Hey Drake," I reply without much enthusiasm.

"Anything good happen today?"

"Some girl who looks like me got thrown in jail but other than that... No, nothing good really." I shrug. "And you?"

"I got a piece of bread?" He said with an awkward smile. He holds it out for me to share but I give my piece to Lil.

"C'mon guys, let's go find somewhere better to sleep tonight." I say as I stand.

"Let's go bat-boy!" Lil rushes Drake.

"Don't call me that!" He growls. "I don't need people knowing I have above-average hearing because I'm blind!"

"Chill out!" I yell, tired of the twelve year-old and fourteen year-old's constant bickering. "Drake you are older, act like such!" I demand as we march out of our hiding spot.

I pull my hood tighter to my hairline and begin to hum the Republic City anthem. The streets are crowded even more than usual.

"You can't let her go! She is the thief!" I hear old Ms. Mayes shout. I look up to see the girl with my face.

"I've told you, that looks like me, but I AM NOT A THIEF!" She said as she stomped her foot, little flames licking the bottom of her soles. "My name is Jensen and I am here looking for-" I begin to walk away, she has quickly lost my interest. "my sister, a girl by the name Jenniphine." I stop mid-stride. "I am the new Avatar and before I undergo my training I must find my sister." I kept moving, having an internal freak-out when I realized she might be talking about me.

I turned a corner and took off running, sprinting until I found the pier. I quickly jumped into the water and swam straight under the pier. "Lil, where are you?" I call out, praying for their safety.

Two agonizingly long and silent minutes later, I hear a small splash followed by a loud string of curses. "D****t Lil! Warn me next time you're gonna push me into the water!"

"Quit being such a baby!" She says as he flicks her off. "Anyways," she focuses on me. "Jen, did you hear that girl Jensen? You think that's the little girl you remember?" I shook my head, it couldn't be.

"Let's talk about this over dinner, I'm starved." Drake said, already out of the water and looking for some firewood. Once he found it, Lil lit it and I fished three fish.

"It can't be her. Dad always told me that Mom died in a factory explosion," I shook my head to clear the false memories. There is no way this Jensen girl could be my sister. I was an only child. The only person I remember from my childhood was my imaginary best friend, the one I pretended to call on the phone every night when I was five. It was just not possible that this girl could be my sister. She was obviously a nut-job, the Avatar hasn't been reincarnated in the past 50 years.

Avatar Ashton was killed in the Avatar state, thus stopping the reincarnation process. Even is she was the Avatar, I doubt she was firenation...then again she did firebend during her mini-fit. I shared my thoughts with my mismatched family. Lil dismissed these thought with a wave of her hand. "This is all too confusing, we'll figure out tomorrow morning.

~Jensen~

I paced back and forth in the small room. Obviously, this Jenniphine who Mom told me to find is a troublemaker. I thought about the current situation, Avatar Ashton was killed in Avatar mode, discontinuing the reincarnation process. I can bend water perfectly and have started to improve my airbending with Sori's help, I have connected with Avatar Aang, Roku and Korra but not Ashton. I can't control my firebending or bend any sort of earth and I keep getting the feeling that Jenniphine and I knew about each other already.

"You okay Jen?" Jacob asks, obviously concerned for my sanity. I don't blame him, I've been pacing for the last twenty minutes.

"Yes," I say with a sigh as I plop down onto the bed next to him. I lay my head back and groan at the ceiling. "It seems like just yesterday when you fought Damian for the last time." I smile as I close my eyes to remember the crisp air of the Northeastern City.

"C'mon Jen!" A eight year old Sori screamed as she pulled me towards the fight. "Jake's about to get his a*s whooped!" For an airbender, she sure liked violence.

Jake had challenged Damian to a waterbending match. They fought it out until Damian was left winning again. "Don't worry, you'll get him next time!" I comforted my six year-old half-brother.

"No he won't! He's a loser!" Damian and his friends taunted him. "His own sister can't even bend! His parent's broke up! His family is ruined!" Now why did they have to bring that up?

All I remember was being in the hospital when I woke up. According to what Sori had said, I had gone into Avatar mode and whooped their butts myself. A grumpy Jake sat beside me mumbling something about it being unfair that I could take on all of them by myself.

"We don't know what that was, there shouldn't be an Avatar anymore. Ever since Avatar Ashton was killed there has been no Avatar, why now?" I heard the elders ask each other. I looked to Sori and she gave me a reassuring pat on the back.

"Sweetie, there is something I need to tell you," Mom said as she bent next to me. "You have a sister," she blurted quickly. "Her name is Jenniphine, she is somewhere in the Fire Nation by now. We believe something really bad is going to happen sometime soon, we don't know what or when. There must be a reason on why the Avatar has been reincarnated even though it shouldn't happen. You are going to go to Avatar Ashton's memorial island where you will train." She left the room sobbing.

"Remember when I found you?" Jake asked, pulling me from my memory.

"Yeah," I nodded as I immersed myself in the memory.

Avatar Ashton's memorial island is a good three hours by plane from Republic City. I got a letter from Jake, now ten, telling me that Mom and him were moving to Republic City. I was excited that I would be seeing my family soon, after four years of intense waterbending training I was ranked amongst the masters. I had learned the basics of airbending and was working on mastering it.

Mother and Jake flew out to Ashton Island only to have the plane crash, Mom killed in the fall and Jake barely saved by his waterbending. We held a funeral for Mom back in the mainland, and with the members of the white lotus' blessing, moved there not long after.

"And how I came into the picture again?" She challenged. I nodded with a small smirk placed on my face.

Sori, ten years old, had convinced her parents to let her go to Ashton Island. The masters were very impressed with her and after consulting it with her parents, she began training with me. When it was obvious we were on completely different levels, she left to continue her studies only to appear at our doorstep two months after Mom's death.

"I heard about what happened from Master Tsugi, I came to pay my respects." She smiled solemnly. Nobody except her knows how she convinced her parents to let her move in with us. Seriously, if you ask Mr. and Mrs. Treff they will say they don't know.

With Sori's help, I began to improve further in my airbending training. "C'mon guys it's dinnertime," Sori said as we headed down the hall into the dining area.


© 2013 TheGeekGirls


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"I've told you, that looks like me but I AM NOT A THIEF!" - maybe a word missing after the comma or what is it that 'looks' like her.

"Even is she was the Avatar,..." - 'if' instead of 'is'

"...dismissed these thought with a wave of her hand. "This is all too confusing, we'll figure out tomorrow morning." - 'thoughts' ... and there was no " at the end of the sentence.

""C'mon Jen!" A eight year old Sori screamed.." - maybe just '...Eight year old.." or "...An eight year old..."

In the above line Sori is eight then at the end she is 10 when she goes to the island but you mention Jensen has been training for 4 years when her mum dies. Jake has aged 4 years but Sori only 2 (not that she is family) but she only appears after the crash if i have read it right so she would be 12. Understanding where you are reliving memories and when you are discussing the present takes a cpl of read throughs

"There must be a reason on why the Avatar has been reincarnated..." - the on doesn't sound correct

It is easy to become so familiar with your own work that you don't always see the errors no matter how carefully you review it. I wasn't trying to be critical, I was, as most ppl are on here, trying to help. But if you don't want any, then ok. Maybe mention that you are wanting a critique only on the content and nothing else with your work from on.


Posted 8 Years Ago


Hi - I really enjoyed this. I think it is a good concept and I am interested to see where you take the story and how the reincarnation has taken place when it wasn't supposed to have been possible. There are a few grammatical errors and some areas where things could flow a little smoother, but other than that I am looking forward to reading more.
I am curious how you manage to write as a collaboration - sometimes I think I would some help with my writing, but I am not sure I would take too kindly having someone tell me what direction they think my story should take. But kudos to you if you can make it work. Keep going :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


TheGeekGirls

8 Years Ago

~G~ Listen, I happen to be a complete and total grammar Nazi so don't tell me that there are grammat.. read more

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Added on September 10, 2013
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TheGeekGirls
TheGeekGirls

Narnia, OK



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