I have seen the rats of New York

Skyscrapers, gigantic architectures and all the glossy imagery which dominate people's consideration of NYC are just a superficial dimension of the picture.

I have seen the rats of New York

fumbling for bits in the dark,

their tails tight aerials

transmitting the outrageous primacy of life

from the dankest dungeon

where spirit drowns in

repentance, illusion and strife.

I have seen rusted soda cans

and rotten paper fans

adrift on the greasy creek

creeping through the mucky tracks

that made my heart cringe

in wonder:

“Where do they come from?

Where on earth they head?”.

I have seen vacant stares orbit,

lonely planets lost

in the unknown,

their universe an underworld

as dark as a black hole

sucking in the rabid flow

that incessantly swarms the concrete:

existence urging its beat.

As in a nameless videotape,

old lovers finally found each other again,

some others took their umpteenth dose of pain.

No soundtrack but the clang of trains

emerging from their holes like rats,

then, just like rats,

swallowed back into a gallery

dug by tearing earth apart

as well as grief carves into the heart.

 

Tiles sweated out slimy corruption,

such a thick obstacle for any consolation

of destinies and endless goodbyes closed

behind shutting doors

and the coldness of filthy poles.

Suddenly, it all reminded me

of the long gone taste of

clinging to perfection in a fading instant.

It felt pretty much within reach,

still, so overwhelmingly distant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[LR Young]

There's great imagery here. A revelation of the multiplicity of the city and its life. I do notice that your linking words, "and, but, then" sometimes fill in odd places in rhythm, I wonder what would happen if you took them all out. It might read more starkly visual and less narrative, but it might be something to play with.

[Laura Nikkinen]

Visuals are great... I usually cringe when I see a longer poem (I know... so bad of me), i tend to lose patience and skip words here and there when reading them....

and this one kind of freaked me out cuz I've been sketching something like this in my head (about new york) for a while now...

the last part... i was smiling... i had images of shiny and glossy skyscrapers with business people hiding inside, the walls of slimy corruption.. it's very much true though. big fancy buildings/big cities are like huge communal rat holes... and people are fighting for scraps everyday, struggling.

i still like nyc though... even with the smell of trash in the streets and aggressive and obtrusive traffic noises, no matter how ugly it might seem after a second and a third look. big cities... small towns, they're all the same really, you just gotta find that place you find the easiest to deal with on daily bases. am i rambling now?

[Marie Anzalone]

I recently took a train ride from Dallas to San Antonio, Texas, and remembered thinking to myself; "if you want to see the underbelly of American cities take the train and be sure to look out the window". I was remninded of the times I had ridden the train through Harlem and Brooklyn, through the slums, and seen essentially what you describe in thsi piece. Except I get the feeling you walked there, and didn't ride through it. Still, the effect is the same.

I am struck in this piece by the marvelous use of language to paint the metaphors, and bring the story back full circle to the rats, and the tiring sights and sounds which assail you as you travel. I love the way you stop and make us take a look at what we would rather not see. A scintillating write of finest form!

[Sorry Infamous]

The title draws the reader in; the rest keeps us hooked. There are many parts of a city as there are many parts to a person... I feel that this was a wonderful exploration into both.

[Doctor JKC]

Upwards of 5000 people live in the tubes at last count. The vast majority are men.
It is a pre/post apocalyptic society (I can't decide.) The rats are a major source of protein. "Life During Wartime" says David Byrne.

The life and effluvia on the tracks are a major source of mystery and entertainment for me, too.

A great piece of NYC in all it's glory!
It did have heart,
Jack

[Ms. Gruye]

Greetings: as this is the first of your work that I have commented on, first I offer a disclaimer. Should I make suggestions, they are only that, mere suggestions and not an attack on you as a person or a writer. I trust you to make you own decision if my suggestions would help your work.

With that being out of the way, I would be remiss not comment that the beginning lines of this piece felt like Ginsberg to me--Howl specifically. You did a nice job using appropriate imagery--glimpses that add up to a larger whole sense of gothic sensibility a step above Alan Moore.

I do have a few suggestions:

1) In the first stanza--
their tails tight aerials
outrageously transmitting the primacy of life

I would lose the outrageously, as that word seemed a little out of alignment with the general tone. perhaps, audaciously might be the best adverb should you feel you need one. --I would argue no adverb is needed here as it would deliver the image with more immediacy--

their tails tight aerials
transmitting the primacy of life

feels right to me.

2) In your second stanza:
“Where do they come from?
Where on earth they head?”

Just my personal style preference: a good poem will leave me with a few questions, in regard to their images and their narrator, et all. I rarely appreciate when a poet tells me what questions to walk away with. Here, you are simply relaying the narrator's wonderment, I get it. But I almost enjoy wondering what the narrator was wondering about more than knowing. Does that make sense??? I would suggest

I have seen rusted soda cans
and rotten paper fans
adrift on the greasy creek
creeping through the mucky tracks
that made my heart cringe
in wonder.

I have seen vacant stares orbit...

this sparks my interest in your narrator and lets my mind play with the obscurity long after I have finished reading.

Again, this piece was at together very well composed. Thanks for sharing.
Viva la

[cest la vie]

For someone who has not seen NYC in all it's glory, well, I just did..
wonderful piece you have written here. I look forward to delving into your library..
Excellent!

[Dr Poet]

Thank you all for reviewing this piece.

Kortas, I didn't think at all about "I see the boys of summer" when I wrote this, but you're actually right. I didn't realize the reminiscence, especially in the musicality of the first lines. It can be explained with the fact that Dylan Thomas is one of my favourites and his work is always a great source of inspiration.

LJW, you too are right in your observation on the many layers of the poem, which actually try to reflect those of the city.

Emily, your comment made me burst out laughing. Thanks so much for your appreciation.

Lindsay, your consideration about the linking words is an interesting one. I have to say I didn't reflect consciously upon their function, most likely because, as you say, I was unconsciously trying to convey a narrative pattern through the whole poem.

[Emily B]

I have seen the rats of Kentucky, Tennessee and Georgia. I figure that is enough. This is excellent writing though. I'm glad Kortas sent it my way.

[LJW]

Like NYC, this poem has many layers. Sewer, subway, street level, first floor, walk-up, high rise. The dirt of life, of the city, written about here with a unique perspective. Nice stuff.