Mark of the Cursed
A Book by ~Dragon X
 A young boy wakes up, cold and alone in a cell. the first piece of writing I've ever posted in writers cafe. :)  © 2012 ~Dragon X
Author's Note
 |
My first piece of written work posted on this website! :) Be yourself when rating this, I enjoy all.
|
Featured Review
|
|
Ok. I love to edit...and I found some errors in your story.
First Paragraph: you said "He swipes a cold hand there and draws back." This is changing the tense. Also, "it was quite the red." I think you meant "It was quite red." 'evily' only has one 'l' not 2. You don't need a comma after 'guards.' no semicolon after 'bars' maybe a dash. 2nd Paragraph: Delete the quotatioon mark after 'Hey!' 6th paragraph: Put a quote after 'Hey! Wait!' Other than those edits, the story is really good!
Posted 12 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
|
Reviews
|
|
This is very good. I love the whole "dark mark" thing. I agree with rachi, you could TOTALLY turn this into an amazing book. :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
|
|
|
you should turn it into a book it is amazing
Posted 12 Years Ago
|
|
|
I really really like it! Will it be continnued sometime? Because I really think you could make a WHOLE BOOK out of this! But one note-the name sounds too much like Eclipse (Twilight) to me. Maybe you should call it something like... "Mark of the Cursed" or "Black Abyss" I don't know!
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
|
|
|
Dragon,
Your story was very great and I just adore the twist that you put in the end. I personally think twists like that really keeps the reader's attention. Your first paragraph sets up the story very well. In my opinion it may need to be shortened just a bit. Usually when I find long descriptive paragraphs in my writings I find ways to say the same thing in fewer words. Overall, I loved it! The imagery is great and the story itself is very suspenseful.
Nice job!
Posted 12 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
|
|
|
Ok. I love to edit...and I found some errors in your story.
First Paragraph: you said "He swipes a cold hand there and draws back." This is changing the tense. Also, "it was quite the red." I think you meant "It was quite red." 'evily' only has one 'l' not 2. You don't need a comma after 'guards.' no semicolon after 'bars' maybe a dash. 2nd Paragraph: Delete the quotatioon mark after 'Hey!' 6th paragraph: Put a quote after 'Hey! Wait!' Other than those edits, the story is really good!
Posted 12 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
|
|
|
Author
~Dragon XRiding Dragons, OH
About
hi I'm basically a ghost here now
I show up once in a blue moon
I'm all over this nifty lil place called wattpad now, but my writing still sucks so don't go there
body, a, a:hover { cursor:url.. more..
Writing
Related Writing
People who liked this story also liked..
|
![[send message]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/mail.png){kind=small}
![[befriend]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/friend.png){kind=small}
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Read Request
My Library
Flag Writing
