Mouth of a Liar

Have you ever experienced huge life changes in an instant?
Have you ever had everything you loved grow distant?

Have you ever desperately longed for the past,
to feel the comfort for a second, even if it doesn't last.

Have you ever put yourself in the direct line of fire? Believed every single word from the mouth of a liar.

Have you ever wondered if anything was actually real?
The motivation of each relationship; what did they steal ?
Whether it was money or trust or my smiles or tears ,
Has anything actually been real in years ?

Have you felt your heart break when you begin to realize,
That you're actually worth next to nothing in their eyes?

Do you know what it feels like to give up your dream?
And have people pity you and apologize when you're seen ?

Have you ever wanted to blurt out all of the things?
To tell them the stories; all the stuff in between.

Have you wanted to immediately scream; been repeatedly betrayed by your 'home team?

Have you ever had everything taken from you ?
Have you ever realized that there's nothing else to lose?

The truth is: it was too much in my emotionally fragile state,
And honestly I was drowning long before the closing date.

What I wish you would understand is that it wasn't about money,
And I'm so sick of people that it isn't funny.

The place that robbed me of my friends,family, sanity, health and children,
That perfect storm that relentlessly fueled my addiction,

physically emotionally, financially drained.
Everything i knew or loved had completely changed .

It started out slowly;drinking on weekends,
Slowly the drinking trumped chillin with friends

You see, the drugs were necessary if I wanted to succeed,
I needed more hours a day then what was given to me!

If I put in effort at the restaurant or took time for me,
Why can't you be everything to everyone at the same time, shame on you Brittany.

Has anyone judged yoj without walking in your shoes
Their interpretation of my life was so misconstrued
They can't feel what I feel and their words can be rude

The place that I once considered all my dreams come true,
Became my nightmare & I'm walking forward, uncomfortably unfamiliarly new.

Reviews

[bigfootprint]

Excellent work, Brittany. Your poem tugs at the emotions for all ever close enough to experience some of your sufferings. Not everyone makes the return trip. So, feel blessed and find solace in knowing that they haven't destroyed your talents and self-confidence. I love your sense of rhyme. You have great daring and a fine vocabulary. You make your stand and prove you can finish with finesse -- in life and in your poem. An observation: Since you have answers now, you might rethink the usage of so many questions. With your newfound depth, you could command instead of asking, taking a more positive stance. And, I think your specificity empowers your words. I invite you to check out my "No Prize Catch Today." Thanks -- Doug

[Dreamsnthings02]

Wordy

Could be more powerful if not so specific to individual situation