crooked

just a random poem..

Crooked, crooked:
Crooked girl with the crooked heart.
Your crooked love was sure to part.
You fell in love with a crooked boy. And he broke thy heart like a crooked toy.
Crooked child of crooked fate.
Spent your days full of crooked hate.
Crooked people like cracked glass.
Hold crooked watches wishing time would pass.
The crooked man he gazes above
Hoping for his share of crooked love.
The crooked woman with her crooked smile.
Gazing wistfully all the while.
What do her crooked eyes see?
The crooked birds flying free?
A crooked flower in crooked soil?
She hums merrily while her kettles boil..
Crooked people in crooked land.
Born and buried in crooked sand.
Creations in a crooked sphere.
Busy and running here and there.
Waiting to die crooked deaths.
Counting out your crooked breaths.
Good and evil but crooked the same.
Trying to find crooked fame.
Crooked, crooked I look at you.
Because inside I'm crooked too...

Author's Note

do tell me how u liked it..happy read

Reviews

[TheSeaOfWoe]

Excellent twist. I feel as though it was a nice turnaround, to reflect the "crooked" element in the things around the narrator, and then expose that they themselves are crooked. This is good because it helps to bring meaning to the phrase "Nobody's perfect". I have one critique though. Don't use the word crooked as much. Try to find synonyms for crooked. You want to get your point across, but you don't want to beat your reader to death with it. Anyways, it was an excellent poem, and I liked the message.

[Duaa]

Thank u fr pointing out my error :) I'll keep it I'n mind..no repetition.. U read it means alot to me thank youu

[A. Amos]

My friend Glen guided you in a very strong manner, follow his advise...as the good part is you can write well!
All the best!

[Duaa]

thank you :)

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[Jip Martin]

Aren't we all in some fashion or another.
A good deal of depth in this piece.
Crooked and yet symetrical in approach hitting the priorities and mundane alike.
Enjoyed it.
Thanks,
Jip

[Duaa]

Oh thanks :) read my other work too n tell me if it's any good ;)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

You fell in love with a crooked boy. And he broke thy heart like a crooked toy.
---
besides that line needing a space...and cannot get "Crooked" out of my head now...this made for an enjoyable...read...would sound better said aloud and see the reaction of your expression as this goes about...the verse could be revised a bit for clarity:

Crooked, crooked:
Crooked girl with the crooked heart.
Your crooked love was sure to part.
You fell in love with a crooked boy.
He broke thy heart like a crooked toy.
Crooked child of crooked fate.
Spent your days full of crooked hate.
Crooked people like cracked glass.
Hold crooked watches wishing time would pass.
Crooked man he gazes above.
Hoping for his share of crooked love.
Crooked woman with her crooked smile.
Gazing wistfully crooked all the while.
What do her crooked eyes see?
Crooked birds flying free?
A crooked flower in crooked soil?
She hums merrily while her crooked kettle boil.
Crooked people in crooked land.
Born and buried in crooked sand.
Creations in a crooked sphere.
Busy and running crooked here and there.
Waiting to die crooked deaths.
Counting out your crooked breaths.
Good and evil but crooked the same.
Trying to find crooked fame.
Crooked, crooked I look at you.
Because inside I'm crooked too...
---

I edited a few areas to give this a polish...see what you think --- this is my observation...and IMPO>...this is Crooked...LOL...

[Duaa]

haha that is so nice of you and i kinda like what you did thre..thank you for you time and effortread morehaha that is so nice of you and i kinda like what you did thre..thank you for you time and effort

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[Luissanto]

Your words so haunting and profound, that they reach deep inside to ones soul. The way you write with such passion and cynicism is quite refreshing. You are an incredible writer... and I look
forward to reading more of your amazing work.

[Duaa]

awww thankyou..u are so kind..being such an amazing writer yourself im glad you liked it :)