Green Eggs and Ham

I am Jess, Jess I am.

I do not like relationships

I do not like them,

For I am Jess, Jess I am.

I dislike a lot of things,

I am Jess, Jess I am

I dislike the droplets of rain that cover your glasses lens when you forget an umbrella.

I dislike how on a really cold day, they fog up whenever I enter a warm room.

I dislike like glasses in general.

I dislike it when people walk into my room and forget to close the door behind them.

I dislike milk that someone forgot to put back in the fridge.

I dislike it when people forget to flush the white bowl.

I dislike the red rotten flesh of a fresh cherry tomato

I dislike jumping into a pool and feeling it's cold embrace.

I dislike holding my breath underwater.

I dislike cheesy romance movies where the woman says "take me I'm yours" as she jumps into his arms.

I dislike the fact that they killed Jack in the Titanic,  Rose should have died too; killing them both would have at least been a little less tragic-

And a little more historically accurate 

I dislike the cold dark silence a broken heart can bring.

I dislike seeing the pieces crumble everywhere.

And those sloppy wet slippery kisses that stain it after.

I dislike the fact that sometimes it's not the boys that break your heart.

I dislike the fact that I am either the soup before the meal or the mint after.

But most of all-

I dislike it when people ask fake how are you’s and fake how do you do’s?

You may call me negative-

You may say I am a stick in the mud

But my prom date was my great grand- mama, who’s also my best bud.

And despite all these things that I dis-dis -like.

One thing's for sure, I know I like like you.

Like those girls that say take me I'm yours.

Like the unspoken silence that can come from the closest of lovers.

I would still like you even while wearing glasses.

I would still like you while eating cherry tomatoes.

I would still like you even while watching a cheesy romance movie.

I would still like you in the rain.

I would still like you even in pain.

I would still like you in a fog.

I would still like you even in a bog.

But I like like you because you don't give me fake how are you’s or fake how do you do’s.

I like like you because you're always there to catch me when I fall.

I like like you because I can lean on you, and you can lean on me.

It’s too bad though, that you’re just my pet dog.

Doesn’t hurt to say I dream of-

Maybe one day.

For I am Jess, Jess I am.

And this is my plate of green eggs and ham.

Reviews

[Rye]

This is so very creative, I enjoyed this write

[The Immortal Phoenix]

Very, very cheesy. but also good like a super dulux grilled cheese sandwich with cheese on top and string cheese on the side. My favorite. both the sandwich and this peace.

[Dark_Duckling]

Thank you :)

[lizardbrain]

i love this for so many reasons - can relate with the sense of irritability in the first part, and then the very human contradictions in the second one - plus it made me chuckle because this is exactly how i feel about my dog too hahah :)

[Dark_Duckling]

lol, Thank you so much for your review :D

[Sammy]

Oh my. That was wonderful. Many feels here. I was so hoping it was a girlfriend that was being talked to as it was winding down, but when it turned out to be a dog, even better. Thank you.

[Dark_Duckling]

Aww thanks :)