Feels Like Forever...

Woke up this morning, feels like forever since the mourning of your name...

In shame I hid tethered to fame, a blind grain of sand against a slimy flame

I'm gaining momentum like rain, a zany feelin' bein' clean

weaning myself off the draining lifestyle, my grind paid in dreams

My time stood-still, feels like December when your clever weather was stormy

I grew gills and stormed on... 

A starship trooper in September, I ran around in embers

no space vacuum in dust, I grin and shoulder on

In my holster a wand, it sings songs about wrongs

atrocities gonged through the city, a bong hit of infinity

I stare behind me and see her one last time in the rust of spaces left between us

I know she will not see this, I'm just a bleeding creature...

So whisper feels like forever

...Leave it

Reviews

[Robert Trakofler]

okay I wrote a song about twenty five years ago and reading this made me remember it its a bit sketchy in my sketchy bunny mind but.....
Woke up this morning,
got out of bed
evenings pleasure
drove in my head
don't know what I'm doing
maybe Ill find a job...
oh i can see now
I'll just pack my things and go
(refrain thing)
Life would be better
these things I'm sure I'll know
the Lowcale solution

okay you can go back to your regularly scheduled program :)

I say this partly of the intention of the write and partly because this reads like a song and like my song it sounds like a very happy tune but it is full of unhappy things in a sort of sardonic looney tunes melody
like my locale solution isn't one in dieting (change your lifestyle not your caloric intake!) and (change how you live not where you live and moving) to cure your ills neither is your write of blight and you scream it as such with a sublime beauty in that wonderful voice of yours. Oh yeah I love that you use mourning like me you are one sexy writer silent:) the the the the thats all the bunny has to say:)

[Chase Dylan]

A nice ditty, my friend...
Thanks for it, aha
Morning
Mourning
...Who could resist...
Not our sexy-voiced selves
I am merely happy to be a vessel of which to ship the feelz...
All that follows is a pleasure to see

[Rubein Geterminah]

That's how it is at times.
Sometimes crush or affection causes us to get attracted to others; but reexamination makes us to know our limitations.

[Chase Dylan]

So very true, Rubein... Thank you for this wonderful insight...

[Rubein Geterminah]

You're welcome

[B]

You are extremely talented
Saying goodbye to a person or a thought
i say so much in this piece
as it becomes so difficult to just let go
Lovely piece
a work of art

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Starz, a lovely review....

[Elizabeth]

I love the way how you bind words so eloquently to form an intricate piece of poetry. This poem very acutely describes the turmoil of the poet's mind. Amazing!

[Chase Dylan]

I adore the way you bind words together for an interesting review...! Absolutely thank you, and spot-on take...

[angelina neves]

You express the lost of a love one in a very beautiful way...
we can fell that memories hurt...

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks so much, Angelina... They certainly do... But we can always leave it...!

[Abhishek Asthana]

I guess after a while few investigators will be going to enquire that how your brain handles your imagery power...I guess that's a compliment for you... awesome piece of writing... really loved it S.S. :)

[Chase Dylan]

Haha, A.S... That is hilarious... A team of investigators are going to determine my imagery power, eh...? A compliment, or the beginning of a scientific horror story... Lol... Thank you, means a lot coming from such a talented writer....

[Abhishek Asthana]

that won't be scientific horror story but it will be a example-setting for another young writers... in order to become a dynamic author..and sir, please stop calling me A.S... I don't deserve...I know you are addressing me deliberately...I can be AA but not AS... that's a request

[Chase Dylan]

Oh, of course, I meant no disrespect... I shall address you as Abhishek, haha...

[pia]

Every word here in this poem fits perfectly....has an affect on the writer and glows with emotion. I love it !!

[Chase Dylan]

I do not know if I like the review, or the profile picture, more... Haha, thanks... I always seem to read your name as "Pie"... Kind of disappointing it is actually "Pia"... Haha, I will just keep calling you Piece of Pie, in my mind at least... Lol

[pia]

Ahahahahah
I have deep side and i have my meme side (intentional rhyming )
Lol this dude here keeps calling me pai.....
Yes feel free to call me what ever you want !! Its a free world (leaving out north korea lol)

[Chase Dylan]

ROFL... Oh my... Lololol... Dude, it is just your name... It attracts pie, and aye... I tell everyone that as well, albeit.. I leave North Korea out of it... I do not need any sensory bullshit coming my way... You know how HE gets... Lmao... Ahahahaha...
I am friggin' dying laughing over here...

[pia]

Oh no he may just send more failed missile tests towards "writers cafe"
Lol same im laughing over the name pia
My best friend once made a spelling typo and called me "poa" and like the banter hasnt stopped
I am no more pia to my friends but a poa lol

[Chase Dylan]

Hey, at least you are a Piece Of A*s... That is better than being THE a*s... Aha...

[pia]

I have no idea what you just said !! But imma meme that
HeY at LeAsT yOu aRe a PiEcE oF A*S
Hahahah im a strange person sorry

[Chase Dylan]

Rofl, meme the heck outta it, strange or not, I like it...! I never know what I am saying....

[pia]

We never know what we were saying.....well same here....
I have severe social anxiety....said the weirdest thing to a dude today and scarred him oops my bad

[Chase Dylan]

Scarred or scared him...? Or... Or both... Haha

[pia]

Both :/
Loool ooopss

[Mr.Writer]

I say scared ;)

[pia]

Ahahah loool oh god i came home and went like "why am i like this"
Its ok he thought it was funny so idk

[Chase Dylan]

Lmao, i do that all the time, man... I ask myself... Did I just mentally scar that person...? If so... do i care... haha

[pia]

Same
Usually idgaf
But in this case i totally lost ma chance with a cutie

[Chase Dylan]

A cute dude...!?!? I was not aware men came in the flavor of cute... I wanna be cute...

[pia]

Everyone is allowed to be cute.
You be what ever flavor you wanna be

[Chase Dylan]

...YESH... Yes, then... I am the ultimate flavor of kute... BAR NONE...!

[pia]

Conquer the world with that Kute !!!!

[Chase Dylan]

Lmao, you are killin' me, srsly... I think I cried a little from laughing...

[Mr.Writer]

Don't worry, I cried as well XD

[pia]

I actually look like im laughing but deep down i cry as well xD

[pia]

I think my display picture makes the stuff i say even worse.....like id be damn serious about saying something....and then thered just be my profile picture xD like amazing !!

[Mr.Writer]

Lol xD Yeah

[Chase Dylan]

Shaan... I am super confused... Why are you commenting on my conversation... Acting like nothing happened...? I was beyond courteous to you, and you have ignored me, acting like you did nothing wrong... I apologize for not being able to collab' with you in the style you wanted... Instead of ignoring me, and being passive aggressive, and trying to boss me around with my writing... You could have just said something... I would appreciate that, next time, as opposed to subliminally vying for acceptance by commenting on others conversations... I find that rude, and would kindly ask you to not... Not while behind closed doors... You are quite rude...

[Chase Dylan]

A good profile picture can destroy all preconceived notions of character... Lmao, Pia... Pie...

[pia]

Well that good very sad very quick .__.
Anyway
Its ok i look like a prepubescent 12 year old anyway so ya *cries*

[pia]

This has been by far the most entertaining comment section for me looool

[Chase Dylan]

ME TOO! People say I look 15 on a good day... I am 26... Argh... We will join a sad-sap club... This has been the best comment section EVER... We found out guys can be kute, North Korea censors amazing jokes, and last, but not least... We have identified you as a piece of a*s....

[pia]

I am a 20 year old gurl who likes calling her self a tea cup cuz i am v fragile and smol like lil pupper
I feel u fam
People think im 14 and im like NUUUU BISH IM 20 COME AT ME

[Chase Dylan]

......I thought you were a guy this whole time, what the heck, man... Mind=blown... Lmao, I iz tiny like teeny tot...! Lolol... People be like... Where is your facial hair.... I be like... Bish, i am perfect for allergies, hairless breeds...

[pia]

AHAHAHA I AM A GIRL!!! looooooool dead af
Id probably grow better facial hair than u XD girl stash

[pia]

Pia is a girls name !!!! Im crying

[Chase Dylan]

I live in america, dude... That means Pia... Is A PIE NAME...! Lmfao... Yes, girls often DO grow more hair than I do... At least I have hair on my head... That is all that matters...!

[pia]

Well i have hair on my head too ;_;
What even !!! AHAHAA
Yess as long as u dont have bald spots you are good to go !!!
I live in Pakistan
Its not a common name here either....infact its the name of an airline Pakistan International Airlines (note the initials)
I never hear the end of jokes and banter ;_;

[Chase Dylan]

Oh dear, that would be... You were unintentionally named after an airlines acronym... You win todays saddest-sack award... Hahaha... Edging out me, in second place, as the hairless boy wonder...

[pia]

At the airport
I always deal with the
"Wheres your name"
"Its right there......"
"Oh are you the owner of this airline" *proceeds to laugh like a clown*
And i just stand there with a poker face
Aahh sed life
Hairless boiz > hairy boys eugg so you are good to go !!

[Chase Dylan]

Be like, "yep, why you laughing...?" As DEAD serious as you can f*****g be... See if they start to panic, haha... Sed, sad, shed life... Obviously, have you seen the hair in some of those places...! rhaewfokib5rheluibegliueg... No thank you...

[pia]

I dont wanna get deported ._. So i laugh or fake one....
AHAHAH EW XD
Boys scare me !!! I stand from far away and admire em
They come too close i fkn run like hell naahh

[Chase Dylan]

Deportation imminent... Over a joke... Seems legit... Lmao...
Not all boys are bad, though, girls can be equally "nahhh" inducing

[pia]

Nooo boys r great
What i meant was i have social anxiety af so i end up saying weird s**t and scaring em away xD like last night

[Chase Dylan]

Hmm... Let me offer my advice from the perspective of a boy, then... They do not give a f**k about weird s**t, you are a girl, talking to them... If they are single... That is MORE than enough... Trust me, MORE than enough... Rofl...

[pia]

I think stuff works a lil different in Pakistan :/ idk i guess it does

[Chase Dylan]

...People are people wherever you go, I would almost assure you, aha... BUT, maybe you are just a freak of nature... and un-loveable... Hahaha

[pia]

I am lovable af
Maybe a freak but a fun one xD !!!
Ahahahahahahah

[pia]

I occasionally do bite if someone messes

[Chase Dylan]

Then... What are you worried about...! That all sounds great! Except... Biting can be painful...

[pia]

But its a good self defence xD

[Chase Dylan]

A good ranged weapon... THAT is good self defense... Far to many variables at such short distance...

[pia]

I had to change my display ppl kept thinking i was some weirdo ;_;
(Which i am)

[Chase Dylan]

But... But... Distorted-Spongebob...

[pia]

Distorted spongebob will be back in no time
Gotta relieve ppl from getting scared of me xD
I mean they would if they met me
Im 5ft of horror !!!

[Chase Dylan]

Five whole feet of horror...! You seem to have such an unabashed view of your own debauchery... But how, I wonder, can you view yourself so clearly... I mean, how do you see over the counter-top...?

[Chase Dylan]

My only short joke, I swear, hahahaha

[pia]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL
10/10
Finally someone on this site with a sense of humour

[Chase Dylan]

Lmao, plenty of people with sense of humor here... They just would rather be super serious...! After all, writing is a super serious thing, don't you know... People die on the fields of words...!

[pia]

you should read the stuff i write
Youll be like dafuq a distorted sponge bob can be deep too !!!
I like being both serious and funny !!

[Chase Dylan]

I have, indeed, read some of your stuff... It was your about me, and some of your writing, in fact... That had me CONVINCED you were a guy... Believe it or not, lol... I am never the best reviewing stories... But I DO read them...

[pia]

Looool what made you believe i was a guy i am so intrigued goddammit XD

[Chase Dylan]

Not only deep, economic and financial roots show in the analytical way you construct sentences...

[Chase Dylan]

Because you... You talk like... I do not even know anymore... Lol, stop judging me...!

[pia]

Thanks ;_;
I mean i am studying those subjects at uni !!

[pia]

Ahahahahah i am not judging !!
I never judge (even if u told me u were a serial killer....i mean id be concerned but i wouldnt judge !!!)

[Chase Dylan]

But if I lived next door, there would certainly be some judging... Who wants to live next door to a serial killer... unless the serial killer worked for them... Hmm...

[pia]

Hmmmm interesting
Well if its someone
From the other side of the Earth
Then i doesnt matter at all!!

[Chase Dylan]

EXACTLY... So... Now that we understand each other...

[Chase Dylan]

I am a serial killer.

[pia]

Wonderful
I am a crazy cat lady. Nice to meet you silente (what ever that name is)

[Chase Dylan]

Tis Silent with an e... The "E" is silent... My REAL name is Dylan... But ssshhh, do not tell anyone... Especially anyone readings there news-feed... We will have to combine forces and send out serial killer cats to clean things up... "Clean..."

[pia]

I have 7 cats
All ready to fight a b***h who messes

[Chase Dylan]

Holy... I have two cats... I adore cats... But... SEVEN...? Do you live on a friggin' farm...?

[pia]

LOOOL noo its Pakistan we got alot of stray cats...so i just take care of em
We also have huge gardens so they have a nice lil house made

[Chase Dylan]

Okey... Well I am a bit jealous then... I do not have the space for that... Do you have like, inside cats and ones that just come get fed..?

[pia]

I have one house cat
Rufus
And the rest live outside cux they stray but the have a nice house made for em !! And yeh they eat and go and then they come back

[Chase Dylan]

So... I mean, technically... If we got down to brass tacks... I have more kitties than you... Thus... Making me a crazier cat lady(man)...

[pia]

S**t.
Dont steal my thunder man

[Chase Dylan]

Wait, whut... I wanted to reply with "Stolen."... But I need at least ten characters...?!?!?! UGHread moreWait, whut... I wanted to reply with "Stolen."... But I need at least ten characters...?!?!?! UGH

[pia]

You can always add !!!!!!!! To emphasize the thunder stealing

[Chase Dylan]

..........

[Chase Dylan]

...Ahem...

[Chase Dylan]

!!Stolen!!

[pia]

What a lil bich !!!

[Wajiha Nayeem]

hahaha....damn...am laughing literally and crying as well!...two crazzy ppl together!

[pia]

Crazy is the new funny !! Aah yes

[Chase Dylan]

I am not crazy... I just... I have things going on in my head that require my attention... Almost constantly... Almost always... That was the most elongated reaction, Pie... Oh, this is how you would do it... Oh, ok thank you... No problem... WHAT A LIL' BICH...! Lolol

[pia]

HAHAHAHAHA
This was the most confusing
Amusing and funny conversation ever

[Chase Dylan]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[pia]

Imma call you doolin
To like protect your identity from the scums of this planet.
Perfect start to a friendship

[Mira]

I admire this poem, beautiful work! You are a true poet with a rare quality almost no one has, you make one feel as if they're with you in the poem, and this is so amazing :)
Thank you so much for sharing, I will be looking forward to reading more of your work sometime :D
Love and warm regards,
Mira.
Also, if you wish please do review my work as well, it would be much appreciated. Give any feedback at all!

[Chase Dylan]

Gosh, sorry I missed your review, Mira... I am stunned by your appreciation of my work... You have the rare quality of unabashed enthusiasm in your review, thank you...! Would love to read and give feedback...

[Nora]

This totally deserves to be read , well done, i love it

[Chase Dylan]

Your review totally deserves to be read... Thanks so much...

[Nora]

My pleasure 😊😊😊

[FlatLineBeauty]

I love the way you describe things and how you relate them to things people know well. You really get inside the readers mind and you make it come to life. What really felt like forever was how much I read this. Like I really stopped and just went through it line for line. I really enjoy your style. xo FLB

[Chase Dylan]

Your praise make me blush, FLP... Such intoxication over words is a wonder to hear... I work very hard, line by line... So I enjoy knowing people enjoy it... Thank so much...!

[Wajiha Nayeem]

i love this....wow! you have written this wonderfully and this makes a beautiful poetry i must say!..kepp going manh!

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks, wohman...! For the wonderful insight... I love it, wow...!