How To Make BabiesA Poem by Earl SchumackerMaking babies is easy. Here is how.How To Make Babies
Never bake them in an oven That would be wrong Making babies should never be a mistake
Rub two sticks together in a rain-forest Use a flashlight under the cover of night If you get lost use matches not rocks Babies hate rocks and friction They prefer hugs and kisses
Don’t expect to discover them under cabbage leaves If you find them dancing with leprechauns stop! Take a picture and develop it in the womb
It is advised to use parents in making babies Have them face in the same direction for best results If you must use a parachute open it. Pull the cord
If you want babies to work get them visas Give birth first. Cut the umbilical cord And feed them soft foods. Avoid bazookas
Avoid contraception and asteroids from space Hospitals are safer for the newborn
Babies come out easy on their own The ones from Madagascar grow wild Rumor has it they come from rubber trees Some are on sale wrapped in plastic Found in isle four at the supermarket Because there is a clean up in isle sex….six
You cannot always believe what you read Some say they come from factories in China From under tables in Indonesia From tanks in Afghanistan loaded with ammo
It is easier to make babies at home when you can Behind closed doors and loud noises We understand Madagascar has a sale on rubber walls Which sounds delightful to install and to have more fun And to protect the other children from sounds From things they can’t understand
Making a baby is easier than you think But you should do it before you sleep © 2020 Earl Schumacker |
StatsAuthorEarl SchumackerAtlantic City, NJAboutB.A. Degree in Literature and Language. I enjoy writing short stories, poetry, novels and keeping up with new scientific discoveries. I enjoy philosophy and Art appreciation. more..Writing
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