Pillow Talk

Winter's last chill before the Spring

It must have been thirty minutes-

The time I lay in your bed,

Eyes closed or staring at the ceiling.

You tried everything at your disposal:

Your hands, your mouth,

Your eyes watching me fumble aimlessly.

In the end, nothing came.

All those positions you knew so well

Were all so awkward,

So counterintuitive.

I could never get my angle right,

But I never was good at geometry.

I'd thought I'd had rhythm, though,

And yet, I never knew how fast to go,

How deep to thrust.

This was not a waltz but a street fight.

The other day, a smell made me think of your room,

And I realized your bed still makes me feel nothing.

When I said, Let's go for it,

I wonder who I was trying to fool.

Did I want to make you feel worthy of love,

Or did I want that feeling for myself?

Can I pretend my lie was noble,

Or must I accept it for what a lie is?

Maybe I didn't thrust deep enough because I didn't want to hurt you.

I'd like to think that we were

Two strangers in one bed,

Trying to know each other.

Did you feel nothing, too,

Or did I lead you on?

Did I offer you something I could never give?

I may have thought my lie was noble,

But I know now that no lie ever can be.

I can't help but remember that when we lay in your bed,

You did all the work,

While I just closed my eyes.

Author's Note

This poem is part one of a two-part story. Its sequel should be coming soon.

Reviews

[Angelove]

I find myself re-reading this poem. I love it! Looking for the second part right now :)

[Earthrise]

thanks for coming back! hope you enjoy part 2

[Patricia Wedel]

Blue Moon Rising… quietly subsiding… Banana Moons will be forthcoming… gently, Pat

[Vertigo Cat1111]

I love this. The emotion and story flows and ties so well, it’s like I just read a full book. There’s such a complicated feeling here, like ties all knotted up. I love how extreme and centered these emotions feel, it really feels as if you’re in the narrators shoes. It flows perfectly and is the perfect length. It’s not too long or too short, and I’m a sucker for two part poems. It means so much more story and meaning sometimes. Thank you for sharing!

[Earthrise]

Thank you so much for this review, and I'm sorry I'm just seeing it now. Saying this feels like a full book is such a high compliment, although ironically, I've never felt that more than when I read your poem, "The End." I'm so glad you were able to get immersed in this one. Thank you for your encouragement.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"not a waltz/ but a street fight"
that is an innovative line...
and yes, no lie ever really is noble...
even if we have a good purpose behind it.
truth sets us free...lies just tangle us in a mess.
j.

[Earthrise]

Very true. Lies do nothing but make things worse. I'm proud to have learned that lesson recently. As always, thank you for your kind words.