The Circus of the Smile

Story.

May 1st 1990
    
    A late evening wander around the park. Beyond the treetops I spy the tip-top of a circus tent. I make my way towards it through the trees.

    No sign of life. I traipse right round the circumference of the tent until I spot a pair of open flaps that serve as the entrance. I am drawn to them. 

    A sprightly young man appears out of the flaps. He is wearing a three piece suit and his hair is slicked back. He has clearly been transported in time from a 1950's Hollywood dinner party. He bows his head towards me.

"Room for one more, Sir." 
    He doesn't make eye contact. His accent is...foreign and he is smiling widely.

"What's the entry fee?" I ask tentatively. The man laughs.
"No charge for you, Sir." 

...you have no sense of adventure Andrew, you never take any risks and that's what makes you boring...

    The smartly dressed young man leads me through the flaps. I am immediately blown away by the size of the arena. There are at least fifty rows of raised benches....yet they are all empty! 

"When will the show begin?"
"When you are ready, Sir." 
    
    I assume this is a joke and laugh politely. I follow him up past nine rows and then he indicates where I should sit. My place on the bench is marked by a sloppy red 'X' painted on it. Panic grabs me. 

"Where is the audience?" 
    The man smiles for me and I feel... entranced... soothed. 
"This performance is especially for you, Sir." 
    
    Without another word he dashes back down the stairs and exits the arena. My heart is pounding. I am overwhelmed in a rush of fear and excitement. I am possessed by pure adrenalin!

"Let the show begin!" I yell. 
    I clap my hands. I stamp my feet. I hoot. I whistle. I scream! The light in the tent dies and I sit on the edge of the bench and hold my breath





September 8th 1990
MISSING
Andrew York, 23
Andrew has been missing from Glasgow
Southside since May 1st 1990. Despite
enquiries over the past four months Andrew's 
current whereabouts remain unknown. 
His family are shocked by his uncharacteristic
disappearance. They just want to know he's
okay and urge him to contact the Runaway
Helpline on 0808 800 7070. Andrew York is
of slim build with blue eyes and short black 
hair.

Reviews

[Sound]

Very intriguing read. I liked the complete mystery of it all and unlike the others commenting on this story, I think the missing newspaper clip added the sheer creepiness of the whole mess. It was almost as if Andrew was sucked into the nightmare and never woke up again. This was very good for being so short. Awesome job. 100%

[Rachel]

i like it, but you may think about the transition to the missing ad. It leaves a little more to imagination than may be good for it.

[sk8tagirl95]

it is different but good :)

[Gabrielle]

This is a greatly written story, and I think it couldn't have been better. It doesn't feel jumbled to me, because I get to peer into the mind of the boy. The one thing I wonder though is, is the boy dead or did he actually run away and join the circus. Interesting metaphors. Fantastic job!

[Crystal Lynn]

I like it. It seems a bit of a teaser, though. This is definitely something I would encourage you to flesh out, play with a bit more. Maybe give the reader a little more information, not TOO much more, but enough.

I really enjoyed reading it. Great job.

[lark]

okay... rereading this (after reading your others), it's definitely different. more typically story-ish... maybe only because i'm superficial and it's longer. maybe.

(p3: a tuxedo anda suit? ... not sure if i'm reading this right.
p8: (just a suggestion, but) maybe try the first two lines like this:
"Where is the audience?"
The man smiles for me and I feel...entranced...soothed.
with the quotation to follow on the same line, or the next one... as it is, it makes the opening question sound like it's coming from the man, not the narrator. contextually, it's obvious. but just a suggestion... clarifies a bit...)

still digging it.
(still worth a shot in the face. specifications, man! specifications...)

~

[Mel Stevens]

Interesting piece. I felt as if you plucked a section out of a larger work and still, it works. The only major comment, and it is only my opinion, but it feels a bit jumbled, like there are parts missing.

[windmill]

Cool.

(brainless comment, sorry.)

Interesting read.

[Susan S.]

The coda was especially nice. It doesn't refer to the circus tent and yet you know what has happened. That was quite the ending.

I also like the skirting of the absurd. You have a man with slicked down hair, but he's a "sprightly young man". He wears a tux but no black cape. He has an accent, but the guy clearly thinks 1950's not Dracula. You could have even made it a bit more obscure: lose the accent or have him be in a plain black suit. You'd still carry the impression.IMHO

All in all an excellent piece.

[Hedra Helix]

that's awesome, i like how he's like ok were gonna do this! bring it on!

[Roger Ferguson II]

good story.