Let's Do the Chicken Cluck and Blink !

How does one Con-servand Pre-serve Tea Party Republicanism Conservatism and Serve America as a whole ?

 

“But Cardinal (Senator) Teddy Cruz, I’m a divorced, UnInsured, low-wage Parent. I Need ObamaCare !”

“Blasphemy ! Here, let me sprinkle you with more Holy Water !” Cardinal (Senator) Teddy Cruz picked up the serpentine water hose, and sprayed the Recalcitrant Woman with icy, cold water again.

“Aaah !” The Recalcitrant Woman cried out. “My Children and I Need Affordable HealthCare, Cardinal (Senator) Teddy Cruz ! After all, sir, it is the Law of the Land. Please, have Mercy !”

“You’ll find no mercy here, my Poor, Recalcitrant American Woman. I am The Hispanic-Canadian-American Inquisitor ! I am here to DeFund you ! I am here to take America to the Economic Brink ! I am here to help you Change your Mind ! I am the Rooster who will make you Blink !”

“Igor, get back over here my Good Young Republican, and crank this Wrack mechanism another round !”

“We will stretch the evils of ObamaCare from this Recalcitrant American Woman, and Purify the pollutants of Liberalism from her Mind and Heart ! We will make this Chicken Blink and Cluck !”

“I, Cardinal (Senator) Teddy Cruz am here to Preserve Conservatism. Or is that Conserve Preservatism ? Be that as it may, I must Preserve and Conserve the Money Bags (chink-chink !) and Presidential Ambitions and Machinations filling my pockets and coffers from the Tea Partier Republicans, the Mega-Banks, the Mega-Corporations (especially the greedy Insurance Squids), Elitists, and the Wretched Middle Class and Poor Souls whom I have cleverly Fooled (and White Lied) into actually Following me against their own best Interests and HealthCare Needs !”

Cardinal (Senator) Teddy Cruz leaned over the Recalcitrant American Woman. “As you go, so goes the Nation. Don’t try and Play Chicken with me you Poor, Divorced, UnInsured, Low-Waged, Female, Parent. I will pluck your feathers, smother you in flour, and throw you into the pan to fry !”

“Give the Wrack another whirl, Igor ! I will Con-vert, Con-serve and Pre-serve this Recalcitrant American Woman, and a multitude of Others, to Tea Party Republicanism, Anti-ObamaCarism, Anti-Liberalism, Anti Bleeding Heartism, Anti-IRSism, Anti Law of the Landism, and Anti-Antism ! I will Make her, and all of America scratch around to My Looney Tunes ! I will Shake and Bake ! I will Make EveryOne Move to and Do the Chicken Cluck and Blink !’

Bu-Bu-Buuuuck ! And Blink !