The love too great

I have been away from this site for awhile now. I'm going to try and come back to it. Here is a new spoken word piece I have been doing ok with.

I could never say I don't love you
because that is just not true.
The truth that seems to manifest in my brain
stop in my throat
bounce on my tongue
and stumble like the clumsiest of stooge
out of my mouth and into you ear
is that no matter how I hard I try
I will never be the one for you

I knew that the first day we met
It was reassured the day I first heard you sing
With your long blonde hair
I was like a teenage boy
seeing his first women with curves
A child on the very first day
of summer vacation

But I took a lesson from Icarus
I knew not to fly to close
Because when I saw you
my first thought was
that break up poem is going to hurt

So I here I stand in another
random local coffee shop
Reading stories about the only women
I have ever friend-zoned
The only woman I have put on a pedestal
and after years of spending time with
manages to remain that perfect

Yet stories are all they will ever be
because every time I see you
My tongue ties into a tight knot and
my vocal chords make all vibration stop
For a poet who constantly reads aloud
You must know, you mean a lot.

Reviews

[dan]

Daniel, If you've been away from this for awhile, it certainly looks as if you've lost nothing off of your fastball. This is so chock full of descriptive imagery and contemporary metaphors it kept me going back and reading each verse over so as not to miss anything. But this beautiful piece must be viewed from afar to get the big picture, being careful so as not to be like Icarus and flying too close to the sun. I rate this a 95 only because I don't believe many writes achieve 100, perfection. Yours is reaching toward it and inching closer. Fantastic piece, Daniel! take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is so good....and i love the part about already knowing how much the break up poem was going to hurt....