Ode To Jimmy's Sandals

For my creative writing class we had to write an Ode. Here is mine. It isn't great and the rhyming is nearly nonexistent because I am terrible with rhymes but it is funny none the less.

Oh sandals upon feet

Your astonishing crusty undercoating

Resembles the fattest of pigs

In wettest of mud pits

 

Wonder follows

As ye are carried forth.

Two flapping

Yapping

Gulls

With no tongues

But loose

And snapping beaks.

 

From forth thine gapping mouths

Come ten pale, round creatures

The Gods that dwell thine regions

Are devoid of defining features.

 

Your course is not yours

Oh, weary travelers

Ye trudge on

Well past your prime.

With the wizened beauty

Of a drunken mime

 

Your purpose is great

Ye keep your charges well looked after

While one is half in

The other is half out

A wonderful look you can see with no doubt.

 

Oh majestic carriers!

Ye art the most decrepit of characters

Fearing no stench to foul

And no road to rough

Thy are truly the toughest of tough

 

Only ye

Could brave the trails of ugliness

The roads of misuse

And the cruelty of creation

With such optimism and utter style deprivation

 

Ye are true champions

Awaiting your final rest

In the great bin

With your patience put to the test

But in understanding

and fear

Ye know end is not near

 

Oh, ugly, ugly shoes!

But truly never fear

You can never be as ugly

As the feet that sit so near

Author's Note

The lack of a consistent rhyming pattern destroys its identity as an Ode but i hope that is alright.

Reviews

[alesuriko]

I really dislike odes... I've had it up to here with them. But this certainly was a funny piece about something as simple as a worn down pair of sandals. I loved the "drunken mime" line... my favorite by far. The detail was well done and despite not having the constant rhyme, it was a good mockery ode. The last two lines threw me off a bit though. The "And" in it just doesn't feel right with me: "You can never be as ugly / And the feet that sit so near". It would sound and flow better if it were "As the feet that sit so near". Just a suggestion.

[J.M]

wow this is genius. I think the last verse is the best, but it is all very amusing. Well done.