Grey Clouds

The same grey sun shines down upon my skin. My morning walks don't usually begin this early, but I heard them fighting again. Screaming words far beyond insults so much that it hurts even me.

YOU TAKE HIM! HE'S A WORTHLESS PIECE OF S**T!

It still rings in my ears. Am I hated that much?
Their words sting. How could the people who are suppose to love you the most. . . hate you so much?
This spiteful world full of hateful nobodies should just vanish.

These thoughts continued to stir in my head until I realized I was on the ground.

"Are you ok?" an angelic voice called.

"Ya, I'm fine" flustered by the whole situation, I immediately got up and started walking away looking at the ground.

"Wait!" she cried, but she had nothing to offer me. I had no room for love in this shattered heart.

"STOP!" this time she screamed and ran into me full speed.
I was on the ground again, but the look of terror on her face struck me.

"What?" I asked cautiously.

"You almost walked into a car. . ." this caught me off guard. Someone cared enough to run into me from an on coming car.

"Thanks" I say flustered as I get to my feet.
--

 I couldn't help but continue to think about this girl and why she would go through the trouble of making sure I was alright. She walked with me to the library and even bought me lunch. Ill probably never see her again. I should just forget her. After all there's no point to give myself false hope like that. I; however, could not get her out of my head. Grabbing the closest book to me I hoped to clear my thoughts.

How to cook fried chicken. It read. Ok, maybe next book. I thought as I quickly flipped through another book.

Why don't you love me? Brianna pleaded. Because we are not what we once were. We are not the perfect couple we once thought we were. I pause. This is not working.

Somehow through the millions of pages I read I fell asleep in the Library and managed to get locked in. When I finally woke up I wasn't sure what to make of the situation accept fall right back asleep.

My dreams resembled the haunting reality at home. The lonely and unwanted feelings. My own uncertainty in this world. All these feelings mushed together attacking me in the labyrinth of my mind.

"Hey" a gentle voice called. "Wake up" My eyes slowly adjust to the light, but no one's there. I feel tears in my eyes. It was only a bad dream. Sometimes these emotions are just too much for me, but what was with that voice.

--
 
Walking back home I'm not sure what to expect. I know their hateful glares, but their silence is what really makes everything unbearable. Will they question me or tell me to leave? Will they even acknowledge me at all?

Halfway home I decide it's better if I just leave this place. Leave everything I hate behind. Start over. How could running away be any worse than staying here. Sure no money, but someone will hire me. Someone will at least let me do something. . .

As I head off to a new life, her kindness still lingers in my mind as the one good thing that happened here.

--

I have now become accustomed to the stench. The flies no longer bother me. I've been gone for 3 weeks, and still have no job, home, or food. Maybe I'll die this way. Alone in an alley next to a garbage dump. Letting out a wheezing cough I recall the earlier years of my life. They used to be full of joy. My dad used to be so proud of me. I even remember him bragging to his friends when I came home with the first place trophy for karate. What happened to the father I knew? And my mother. She loved me. She would always bake cookies when I came home with A's on my tests. Where did that love go? What did I do wrong?

"TELL ME WHAT I DID?!?!?!?" I scream these angry words, but my voice cracks. The tears stream down my face. "Tell me what I did to make you hate me." I whisper.
There's no point to all this. I don't see a need to be here; what do I even have to live for.

Day by day these thoughts manifested in my head. Day by day my body weakened. I'm dying. I finally concluded. My life has been reduced to useless self loathing and wasting away in an alley. I could barely walk. My legs shook as my body nearly toppled over with every step. There's no point. The whole world hates you. No one would ever miss you. No one would ever care.

I remember the day that changed my life. My once happy childhood shattered within seconds. The smell of alcohol as he staggered in. Anger written all over his face. My mother shouted. He stormed into my room and pulled me up by my collar. I was asleep and woke up screaming and  crying. I couldn't understand what was happening. His words were slurred and I couldn't make out what he was saying. I realized he was yelling at me in German but this last words:

"YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF S**T ACCUSE FOR A SON"

He dropped me to the floor and began to beat me. My mother stood and watched. I reached out to her but her empty gaze left me abandoned. He finally stopped and the house fell silent to my cries. I could never figure out what I had done that night.

The next day I was quiet at school and lied about my bruises saying I tripped down the stairs. Our family was never the same after that. Beatings became regular. I isolated myself from people; it was easier to never get questioned about my home life. I also began sneaking out to escape his wrath at night. The beatings only worsen when I came home. Their fights grew my violent. He hit her too. What did I have to live for.

As I stand at the edge of the bridge, I feel my heavy heart burdened by the years of neglect, hate, hurt, and loneliness piled up in my heart. The tears blind my view as I ready myself to jump.

Arms quickly wrap around my and pull me back.

"Don't jump" it's her! My sobs grow heavier as she just hold me there.
"It's ok" she coos and for the first time I really believe it.

"You must be an angel" I sob.

She saved my life. Somehow she was the only one who could.

"My name's Miranda" she smiles.

This was just the beginning of a new life.

Reviews

[SasuSakuLoVer]

Im really inspired in your story...acually like Inverse Sanity said I also had this feeling before I hated it all the time when they are saying like I am nothing when I was kinder many bully me at that time I dont know how to fight,never in my life that I want to kill myself because I know it wont solve anything so all I do is pray to God and again I really like your stories I hope you can read mine,thats if you watch the anime Naruto.

[Diasha]

Thank you soo much ^^
I'm so sorry that you had these kind of struggles.
I'm glad that you were able to make it through with God's help though. If you don't mind could I pray for you? And I'll be sure to read your stories ^-^

[SasuSakuLoVer]

Thank you and sorry for the late reply, oh I will also pray for you thanks again!

[IReapAtHighNoon]

Wow, what can I say but wow. Diasha, you really have outdone yourself. I love this story, it stung a bit, because I've had these feelings before. I'll be the first to admit, I have a lot of medical issues, and my younger sister, well, she's perfect. Everyday, they let me know that by saying that all I was was a tax deduction, and they were ashamed of me, all the time, they never came to my knighthood, or my acting competitions, or anything. When I turned 14, my grandfather attempted to rape me, but I sent him to the hospital by slashing the side of his neck, (Unfortunately the b*****d is still alive) and they looked the other way, blaming me for it. So, I snapped, and tried to kill myself. (But there were many other reasons for that) and awoke in a mental institution, where I was treated terribly, and told daily, I wasn't worth the air I wasted, but at 18, I left, and now, i'm living happily ever after away from them, away from my past, with my dream of owning and anime shop a reality, and now, a soon to be husband who loves me.
Sorry for that, I just, its all my feels about this story. Bravo, well done, you actually made me cry and feel for your characters. The flow is a little off, but that can easily be fixed, other than that. Perfect. Gold stars everywhere!!

[Diasha]

Thank you thank you thank you XD!!
I'm sorry about your dad. I have an older brother that I always thought was perfect and hated getting compared to. No two people will ever be the same and they should understand that. As much as the past stings and I am happy you were able to move on. But since you've gone through all this you will be able to appreciate good things in life more.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! (i'll try to fix the transitions)

[PurpleQuartz]

That was a beautiful ending!! I was so wrapped up in the story that I would have been so upset if they ended up taking their own life!!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of brilliance!

[Diasha]

Thank you soo much :D!
I knew how I wanted to end it but figuring out how to get there was a little hard C: