thoughts untold

thoughts untold

A Poem by Edward
"

I wrote this one night when I was alone and depressed.

"

Indefinite stare of an eclipsing glare finds like signs within my fairly evil stare.

But, with the hope of love in my heart and the will to splice apart the darkness within.

How can I gain nothing but still be alive to push away the which that joins the fray.

It is this indifferent mindset that stands to obliterate the light I stand to create.

So I lay in a bed not mine, and listen to the wonderful courses of inept catastrophe.

In the end every breath I take is another mistake in your eyes,

and every step I take is another to date in my life.

Though I push those thoughts away so I might die.

© 2016 Edward


Author's Note

Edward
Please ignore all grammar and spelling issues.

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Reviews

depression sucks, like your work

Posted 8 Years Ago


Edward

8 Years Ago

Well thank you for the feedback can you possibly tell me why it sucks so i can fix it later in my ot.. read more
is "your eyes" referring to yourself? Awesome poem by the way

Posted 8 Years Ago


Edward

8 Years Ago

No i'm afraid its not. what it's referring to is love/relationships lost on behalf of the other pers.. read more
suedama

8 Years Ago

gotcha, I think it is important, however, to look at the unintentional alternate meanings of your wo.. read more
Edward

8 Years Ago

Thanks much for those words of wisdom.
I have found depression and anger to be potent muses. You overtly convey your mood and subtlety, almost surreptitiously reveal your desire for requited love. The poetry is moving and evocative.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Edward

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much for your review. I enjoy the feedback.
The glaring mistake in your work is the use of the word 'splice', especially in the context you intended it. 'Splice' means to join together, the exact opposite of your intended use...

Other than that, an interesting, if somewhat depressing, poem.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Edward

8 Years Ago

your completely right my finger must have slipped and i missed it in my review thank you very much f.. read more
I like the way you captured the emotions of the moment...very inspiring, I can feel the loneliness...

Posted 8 Years Ago


Edward

8 Years Ago

thank you and yes I was lonely when writing this.

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5 Reviews
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Added on September 16, 2016
Last Updated on October 11, 2016
Tags: poetry, dark

Author

Edward
Edward

Coleman, TX



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Hmmm....Not much to tell really. I just enjoy writing. more..

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