Pilgrimage

Was going to drop this on the 22nd but I changed my mind...

          I drive down a highway bright and early Sunday morning I have these thoughts, thoughts about my childhood and what he did.

He was so vile and cold, he is my father well at least was because I haven't spoken to him since I was seventeen years old, I'm thirty-six now.

My father's name is Maxwell and he was as I remember a terrible father and to my mother an even worse husband.

       I've come to visit him because of a slew of killings going around the area from the one the media calls 'The Bunnyman'. I shouldn't care about him but for some reason I do. He is by all means my closest blood relative, but I still have intense hatred for him. I'm thinking about making amends with him but yet again maybe I should air my grieves.

I know the first sight of him will fill me with so much anger and I don't know how this will play out in the slightest.

One thing that made me interested in visiting was that I received several letters from his current and fifth, Caroline, who claims that he's a changed man and no longer that monster he used to be.

      I finally make it out to this old nightmare place i used to call home. I pull up to his enormous mansion, step out, reach in my pocket and cypher through my key chain looking for that one button that locks my car "ah ha, found it." I step back from my car and walk up past the steep brick stairs to his boulder like front door made from pure marble and not wood. I was going to knock but ringing the doorbell  seems like a more effective way instead. After a few dozen rings I step away and think to myself "where the hell are they, I didn't drive all the way up here for no damn reason." I turn to walk away when the door swings open. "Hey son it's about time you came, I've been waiting to meet you." A sweet innocent voice spoke to me. 

I turn around to greet whoever it was but I was shock to see a beautiful woman with long brunette hair and a lot older than I expected. I look at her for a moment while she does the same to me until I finally ask "Are you Caroline?"

She replies back reaching her arms out to me "Why yes I am, come on in your father has been waiting anxiously to see you again."

      We walk In the eerie house and its exactly how my mother decorated it when we first moved in when I was 7 years old.

The pictures on the wall leading up the stairs are the same except  for one -- the only one with a painting of my late mother-- but the rest were still intact.

 "Come up the stairs your father is waiting" Caroline says in a jittery tone.

"He couldn't come down to see his only son? What took so long to answer the door? I ask in an almost tense tone. Caroline looks back at me while still walking up the stairs and  answers me back "I was extremely nervous upon the thought of meeting you."

We walk up the long flight of marble stairs, we turn to a blue door. "I remember this room, it's the room he use to drink until he was feeling 'man' enough to beat my mother to a bloody pulp and tell her to clean herself off."

Caroline ignores my open flashback with a forced smile and opens the navy blue door to reveal maxwell sitting in a wheelchair. 

"Wow dad! or Maxwell? what the hell happened to you? Your karma finally came back to cripple you." I say with a slight smile.

"Hey son, long time no see". Maxwell says after removing his oxygen mask. "I've been dreaming of this moment for nineteen years, the very second you left out I wanted you to come back home so we can forgive and forget about everything that happened between us son."

I walk over to him but not too close just a few steps forward to get a better look at him.

We stare at each other for a few minutes, he cracks a small smile while I just stare at in his eyes intensely.

 "You see Maxwell had a stroke two years ago and will be wheelchair bound." Caroline says to me in a small whisper.

          "How about I bring up something to eat for you two, I know you two have a lot of hatchets to bury and bridges to repair so I will just be..." Caroline says while exiting the room.

I step up closer to him but he stopped me with one word "sorry."

I stare at him to finally reply and say something back "Sorry, You're sorry for the monster you've been to me and my mother you sadistic lunatic! Matter a fact I'm sorry for leaving, I should of killed you that night Maxwell!"

We still stare at each other but something is different in his eyes than mine. 

"I always wanted to be there for you and wanted you to succeed, but you weren't always the easiest person to get along with Jaime." Maxwell responds to me.

      "Why did you do that to her dad, why? How Could you do that to my mother? Your wife!"

At this point I'm yelling where it echoes and vibrates throughout the room.

"It's the past son let it go, you can't reminisce on the past, it'll tare you apart" Maxwell says but I quickly snap back with a fierce yell 

"oh so that night you just forgot and wiped your a*s with the memory? Huh? Did you maxwell?"

Caroline walks in with a tray of sandwiches half being turkey and the other being tuna because tuna is Maxwell's favorite. 

"You know what dad you made me promise not to tell anyone your filthy secret, and like a good little boy I didn't."

Caroline, still holding the sandwich tray, tries to calm me down but to no avail. "you murdered my mother in one of your stupid drunken rages" I shout at the top of my lungs. "You threw her down the stairs, and when I saw it you made me help you bury her in the backyard and not to tell anyone."

A sudden crash smacks the floor shattering the tray and all of its contents. 

"Is this true maxwell?" Caroline asked but was only met with deep silence, "you told me your wife left you and was never heard of or seen again, why did you lie to me maxwell?"

Maxwell to my amazement started to tear up and some manage to drip onto his cheeks, "it's true I killed her but damn it Jaime it wasn't because I was drunk or as abusive as you'd like to remember. Your mother was a w***e who had sex with any man she could get her filthy grubby claws on."

He starts to become more and more appalled by the memories of that grizzly night. "You see I had walked up the stairs and I went to your room, Jaime, to find that you were asleep so I kissed you goodnight and went to this room where we are in now to find... Your mother having sex with some man on my desk. I shot him and in a rage I threw your mother down those stairs."

He sobs and punches himself in the face with little blood drops coming out with each weakened blow. 

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, why was she so f*****g stupid to do that? Was I not good enough? Was my money and my status in this city not damn good enough for your deceiving, conniving w***e of a mother Jaime?"

I pounce on him with all of my might knocking him right over his wheelchair "you crazy old man you killed her over that? Everyone knew that she'd been with a lot of other people except you. She made you look like a fool and you couldn't handle it! That's why you threw her down the stairs you petty filthy piece of s**t there was no other man that night."

I started restraining his weak arms with my knees and strangling him with all my night with Caroline screaming and yelling "please Jaime stop it you're killing him" over again. 

As my grip tightens my mind starts to linger all through my body and rings throughout my aching skull.

       I stare at him as he's barley breathing now and Caroline still trying to pull me off of him forcing her body in between us I start to notice I stopped chocking him and he is maybe in a cationic like state. I stand up gently and kick him one brutal time in his side, the agony dictates his facial expressions in pain.

I walk out the room with Caroline trying to comfort maxwell "have a good life dad because I'm out of it, this time for good". I can hear him calling out to me to "comeback" but I don't.

All I can hear is the muffles of  madness. I storm down the stairs knocking over the paintings on the wall until i make it out this nightmarish house that holds so many painful memories for me. I fasten my approach my car and go for the handle, I open it and hop inside hitting the top of my head on the way in "damn it!" I sit down staring around thinking about what happened. Looking around some more my anger flairs up again, I start hitting and bashing my fists against the passenger seat and slamming my back violently against the seat I'm sitting in which turns into me punching my rear view mirror.

I finally get a hold of myself when I see Caroline vastly coming at my car I shove my keys in the ignition. I speed off aggressively and ferociously leaving a dust and dirt cloud to engulf her in. 

"Jaime come back we're really sorry. You have to come back. Please!" I can hear Caroline yelling in the distance but it's too late I'm already in the distance. 

I've been driving for up to 10 minutes, I pull up to a foggy bridge. "It must of rained while I was in that hell house" I think to myself but I hear something.

Something out of place and not normal, there was also something else weird, "why was my door unlocked?"

I look to my rear view mirror for a quick glance thinking to myself about how was the door already unlocked.

       As my thoughts pace from my mind to my fears I take another glance in the nearly unrecognizable rear view mirror. 

I hear some really soft distance whispers but maybe I'm going crazy when suddenly an eighteen wheeler blows it's horn at me which in return causes me to aggressively jerk the wheel causing me to swerve but I keep my calm and I don't crash. 

I just noticed I was in the wrong lane and could of been killed. 

I started thinking to myself "is this really how my life could of ended? Under these circumstances." I should go back and make amends even if I don't want to I should. As much as I think about it I still drive further and further when...

A man jumps out of the backseat and wraps his arms around my neck!

He doesn't say a word as I'm swerving on this jagged road. I try to fight him off until I realize he had on a grotesque pink bunny mask. "it's you! You're the..." Is all I can say before I lose control of the car and swerve off of the edgy road and ninety five miles per hour Into a tree.

All my sights were sucked into a black abyss in one quick swipe of a second...

... (Maxwell's Point Of View)

Caroline walks over to me and asks am I okay but I don't respond.

She says she loves me and kisses me on the cheek.

I watch her walk across the long hill and over to my limousine to climb in. 

"It's been a week and I've missed you."

"I'm sorry for everything I've done and for that I think I'm going straight to hell and why not?"

"I've been the worst father and person to you as long as I can remember Jamie."

"You don't deserve to be in this. In this box." If anybody deserves to be dead it's me and I think everyone here knows it. My dead son, I wish I could take everything back. Everything, I'm so... so so sorry son."

I grieve for a few more minutes until I finally muster up the courage to do what I came for.

I look around with only my limousine in sight but its a far distant way but hell I can't really tell due to the tears blocking my vision.

Looking at the tombstone made me almost forget how much I hated the atmosphere of cemeteries.

The grim block read: Here lies Jamie Nolan, a son that will be forever missed and loved. (1977 - 2013)

Just reading the tombstone just makes my stomach turn and my heart sink deep in the abyss of my chest.

After a few moments in agonizing silence, I reach into my pocket to pull out a revolver, pushing three bullets in the chamber and I spin it shut.

Not knowing if I'll die or not I put the barrel in my mouth biting it as hard as my weakened jaw would let me with tears pouring down my eyes.

I murmur some words which hopefully will be my last "I'm so sorry Jaime, for any and every single pain I've cost you."

I shut my eyes tightly and pull the trigger.

Author's Note

I debuted this to some and I've perfected it as much as I could as of right now.

June 13, 2014 (Friday the 13th) I edited and ironed it out a lot more! I say its more consistent than it was originally!

Reviews

[C. Rose]

Try to avoid telling at the beginning. You sort of transition into flashback mode by having him thinking in the car - but you told me facts.

Consider including how the character feels about this journey, his father. Is he filled with dread? Is he fighting the urge to pull a u-turn?

[Jack Kennedy]

thanks for reviewing this one! I forgot about it... I will work on this one ASAP! thanks for the advice and the reminder that this one is far from finished! Thanks again

[Stefanie Holmes]

I think this is a good story! I definitely have to agree with the other reviews that were given on how to make it even better. I think this really could become something great!

~Stefanie

[Taylor_McCutcheon]

This is very good. I feel maybe you should do a bit more show and little less tell. The beginning I felt could be dragged out a bit and try not to sound so talky (the part about not talking since you were 17 and your 36 now) I think you could show us that. Maybe mention you stopped talking to him when you were a teenager and than a little later maybe have him take out his license and he comments on how old he's getting. Something like that you know? but this is very good and I really enjoyed. Keep working on it and it will soon be perfect.

[Ranger Kessel]

its good keep it up. i can see you growing as a writer:)

[NoelHC]

An interesting read, and a good premise, I was a bit confused at the end, but finally sorted it out. Well written, you do need to check typos, as there are many. This has potential for a longer story as well.

[Stephanie M]

Wow, this was quite an intense story. I enjoyed every word of it, however you might want to clean up the typos. I'm not trying to nitpick, but I noticed some misspelled words.

[Jennie Baron]

Much improved, Jack. I said this didn't need any changes to the essence of the story and on second read it's true. That essence comes through even more clearly. Good job!

[Jack Kennedy]

Im glad you feel that way and I have to ask is it more clear at the end who is speaking? That was a major point out to me early on

[Jennie Baron]

I had to consider that a moment but only a moment, then it was obvious. Yes, it is clearer.

[Jack Kennedy]

Yes! Thank you for rereading this and take care :)

[Jennie Baron]

You are most welcome! I enjoy your perspective, it's so different from my writing it challenges me.

[Jack Kennedy]

Oh that's so cool to hear honestly! I'm very glad I'm able to do that for you! That's very motivating to know

[little bad puppy]

NICE. well paced, and i can really feel the emotion. the only thing i could find wrong are very minor. well crafted keep polishing it.

[Jack Kennedy]

I will and thanks for the review! I'm very glad you liked it :)

[little bad puppy]

;-} your welcome

[Susie]

Could be cool to keep Jaimie narrating FROM the coffin. His father is grieving, kisses, the atmosphere from the dead's perspective. LOOOOOOOOOOVE the story though!!!!! I got so excited I kept jumping all over the place! haha. I love it. So clever. I don't edit mine straight away either. That's just formalities really. Your work has a lovely flow and is very clever. This one really left me with a feeling... :D

[Jack Kennedy]

That's so awesome to hear :) I always want to leave a long lasting impact on the reader in all of my works! I'm trying to find a better more clear way to let it be know that its Maxwell telling the story at the end :( but soon they will understand :)... I hope

[Susie]

No stress. As I said, that's just the formalities part. This piece is one of my faves because of the frustrating emotion I felt reading it and your talent for written word. To me THAT'S what makes the story. HATS OFF ; )