Adam and Eve

Adam and Eve

A Poem by Elaenor Aisling
"

Adam and Eve after expulsion from the Garden of Eden.

"

I.

Fallen

Disgraced

Shamed

You lay beneath me

I watched your breath

rise and fall

amid sobs and tears

of an innocence lost.

I held you

And you cried.

A helpless, hapless being

Under my protection

You peered at me

From under a tangle of hair

Entwined with branches

Littered with leaves.

But still, you were beautiful.

 

II.

Enticed

Tricked

tempted

I was my fault we were here

My foolish, flattered mind

Weak and fragile.

My heart, shattered,

My eyes opened.

I wept

And you did to.

 You stared

Down at me

With saddened eyes.

I clung to you

For you

Were my last memory

Of what we once were,

Of what we once had,

Rocks make a hard bed.

 

III.

Still, we got what we deserved.

We are the only ones to blame.

Untrusting

Unbelieving 

Sinners

That we are. 


 

 

 

 

© 2011 Elaenor Aisling


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Reviews

again I agree with Emma, the one or two strong metaphors, the feeling or lying together on a rock bed brings the reader's focus right in.

also the paucity of words. the control, the insight that controls and "rides" the words as you write them, that is a gift.

Posted 12 Years Ago


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.n.
I enjoyed this. You really captured the story well while giving individual voices to the characters. My favorite line is "Rocks make a hard bed." It is an obvious statement, but it really captures the difference in thier situation and the hardship that they must now face.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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230 Views
2 Reviews
Added on June 20, 2011
Last Updated on June 20, 2011
Tags: garden, eve, Adam, bible

Author

Elaenor Aisling
Elaenor Aisling

Limerick, Ireland....I wish.



About
I am currently a student. I write mainly poetry, a few short stories here and there. I love to read and write. Favorite authors include, Victor Hugo, J.R.R. Tolkien, Tolstoy, Wilde, Alcott, C.S. Lewis.. more..

Writing