What a Way to Kill

What a Way to Kill

A Poem by Ellie Howard
"

once again another song. Basic idea of a man killing his girlfriend, i almost wanted this to sound like a punk rock song melded into an early alternative rock.

"

Shot n' kill

my valentine,

while we drink,

drink this blood and wine

 

from razors to guns,

I had my fun

 

Red, our tongues taste the salt

On our lips

As we lick the blood

from our hands (so nice)

 

I see your eyes fade (black eyes)

 as the gun slips from my grasp,

like a knife in my hand,

I make you bleed,

again, and again

 

I rip the rosary from your neck,

And pray

I’ll never do this again. 


My faith made me think this through

But made me pick

up this pistol once again

and shoot you from my plans

only to leave you

a dead body in my hands.

 

Shot n’ kill my valentine

As I drink,

Drink this blood like wine. (so nice)


I rip this cross from your hand

and swear to myself

I’ll never do this again.

© 2013 Ellie Howard


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Reviews

The line "Drink this blood like wine" made me think of if the guy was a vampire. Since vampires drink blood and stuff, but this tells a good story and love the wording, once again. Haha.

Posted 6 Years Ago


The parentheses add a touch of emphasis on parts I wouldn't've noticed without them. The simile on the fourth stanza confused me a little, but wasn't enough to keep me from finishing the read. Bravo.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Definitely dark and like it crawled from the shadows upon some unsuspecting toad...watching it jump in fear. This is cool, sleek and quick to the cut.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Interesting, and visual. In my mind's eye I constantly saw red and black.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ellie Howard

6 Years Ago

That was a really important visual that i wanted.
and you will do it again and again..i just wonder, why are sweet things forbidden?or why are forbidden things very desirable? we are really poor creatures..

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. The visual created from this...Excellent writing as always. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


A very wild vision create by the poem. Valentine and death. A interesting combination. The flow of the words was very good. I like the ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


this is REALLY good :D.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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8 Reviews
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Added on January 27, 2013
Last Updated on January 27, 2013

Author

Ellie Howard
Ellie Howard

San Antonio, TX



About
I'm 16 years old, and i'm in love with writing and literacy education. Writing is one of the only ways, besides my art, where i can express how i feel with confidence. Even though i'm not the religio.. more..

Writing