War

About the effects war has on a person

I went as a youth

I had young laughter

That was before

This is after

A shell I am
Of the being I once was

For you did not see
What i did see

You did not hear
What i did hear

You didn't wake
Every day

With such joy
Yet such fear

Inside full of tears
outside i show laughter

For you don't know
what i do know

For you did not go
Where I did go

A war you see
A war is what did this to me

went a whole
young happy carefree sole

Now I'm broken
Half of me is whole no more
I have a shadow that crawls with me
Across the floor

A unit is what you see
to us a broken family

Brought together by conflict
Brought together by work

War.

Author's Note

constructive criticism please

Reviews

[Chris Rampersad]

Well it has a pretty good flow to it, you did a good job describing it, I figure if you could write something that can make the reader see the picture in their head its a success and I saw it an felt it. so good job dude.

[KAOlmsted]

I think having never been through it, it seems disingenuous to write about it, but you did a nice job with this. I especially liked "A unit is what you see/to us a broken family"...nice job.