Frost

The harsh frost covered the ground like a blanket of protection; quickly it spread like burning wildfire taking everything in its sights prisoner to its cold icy jail. As I stared out the window sorrowfully, my hand daringly reached out and cautiously touched the frozen window. The ice burned through my hand, up my thin arm and down my back making my whole body unexpectedly shiver and I quickly snatched it away.  My eyes looked eagerly at the fresh frost lying on the ground, the new air just floating around excitedly, the frost that was just waiting to be crunched… but suddenly my heart sank; all I could do was gape longingly at the welcoming look of the frost, I could only think about my blissful memories playing in the frost and I could dream that I would ever get the courage to go outside again.

Author's Note

I don't know if I should give more away about their story/character
or should I just let the reader decide
opinions to improve please

Reviews

[.]

interesting almost reads as if burned by love.... very interesting

[Silver Tree]

I know it's been said, but this is good enough to stand on its own. The reader can always imagine a new reason this person is afraid to go outside. It could be the snow, a new experience, or another person. :D

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I like it how it ended even it is sad but still his faith still there. great write!

[Akleja]

Let the reader decide! It's really interesting to read this, and then afterwards let your mind play around with it... Good job.

[Catheryn]

I like it. Simple is good 8D

[T.Logan]

Short, sweet, and simple. I like it!

[A. H. Pinley]

I think of the many cold winters, well they were cold to me, spent in my mother's beat up car waiting for her and for the car to warm up. Radio playing that eighties music and the windows caked with frost. Darkness still blanketed the valley in her seclusion for at least the next hour, but for me those few minutes shared with Hall and Oates, frost and the dead of winter are forever etched in my brain.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is one big metaphor...I like it. Sure, there is the girl, afraid to go outside into the snow even though it is inviting, but on a deeper level there is a person who is afraid to take that step toward something that looks dangerous or scary. I quite liked reading this in a lot of ways. It could do with a little editing...go through and take out all the unnecessary words to tighten it up, for instance in the first line you could begin with "Harsh frost covered the ground like a blanket of protection", and it would be more in your face beautiful. Also, a few little punctuation issues. Overall, though I can appreciate the sentiment here, and I like the "deeper meaning" feel.

[R. L. Ives]

Interpretation is as individual as fingerprints, each will be effected by this in their own way. Maybe leave it at that and hear what folks say.

[quinfinn]

let it stand as is...it takes a clever and skilled writer to let the reader feel the work in his own particular idiom. you have shown true skills herein. well done.

[oh,hey.]

ok i will, thankyou!

[quinfinn]

welcome