The Forest

Life is many things...

I breathed in the clean, crisp air. It was a lovely evening. The birds sung, the crickets chirped, and the squirrels ran about in the underbrush, tearing up a tree, soaring through its branches, and then careening down another tree, just to repeat the process again. The forest was a lovely place. 

As I walked further into the wood, it got darker. The sky was no longer as visible as before. The lovely sound of the evening songbirds changed to the mournful, haunting hoot of an owl. A mist filled the valley I was descending into. A wolf's howl pierced the ever darkening forest. This maze of trees was a menacing place. 

I reached the bottom of the valley. I paused. Heavy footsteps were close by me. I could not tell what made them, or where it came from. A shriek echoed through the gorge. I paused in silent fear. The footsteps were still coming. This wood was a dangerous place. 

I scrambled to climb the other side of the valley. Thorns scratched my hands and legs. Hidden roots tripped me and slowed my climb. My fear prevented me from making careful progress. I ran without a thought as to where I was going. The fear was driving me farther from home. The wilderness was a terrible place.

I reached the top of the hill. The sun had not fully left the sky. A brilliant sunset bathed the west in a million colors of red. The trees next to me cast shadows the size of mountains on the valley from which I came. I was left in awe and wonder. The forest was indeed a beautiful place. 

The heavy footsteps had not ceased. A scream stuck in my throat. Up ahead a giant bear, black as midnight, lumbered out of the labyrinth, its glossy coat reflecting the crimson hue of the sun. It stood on its legs and snarled at me. The end was near. I closed my eyes, knelt, and waited for the end to come. This wood was a deadly place. 

I heard a shout behind me. The big bear galloped away into the darkness. The heavy footsteps came right up behind me. I turned around and I saw my father. I ran into his arms and burst into tears. 

I held my father's hand as we turned and walked toward home. The forest may be deadly, but I am safe. 

-Elliot B. 

Reviews

[AcasualPawn]

Well. Your every story has very deep meaning.. And turnout in the end with great message to blowout the reader, its your specialty....

As a teenager iam partially going through same phase, so i can deeply understand your intentions...

Thankyou for such good stories elliot

[Elliot B.]

Thank YOU for your kind words on all of them!

[AAmell]

Pretty decent writing here. I like how you end each small paragraph with something to the effect of "The woods are..." Very Poetic!

My suggestion would be to not summarize your story at the end. When you put "Instead of returning home, I ran farther away, leading almost to my demise," it felt like a synopsis. You should leave this up to the reader to infer, rather than laying it out for them.

[Elliot B.]

Thank you for your constructive criticism! I will implement that!

[Carol Cashes]

This was an awesome read.

A excellent rendition of how much children "need" their parents - especially a father who can chase away the bears! - and being children, how they run headlong into danger and away from safety.

Very cool.

[Elliot B.]

Thank you! It's amazing how the human condition can be perfectly described in the behavior of children. We are all immature beings. Thank you for your review!