breathless

breathless

A Poem by Emily B
"

another walk

"

I feel you closer.

Colorful flashes

of brilliant light

haunt waking hours.

The vagaries

of your nearness

are too much to whisper

except

you make me breathless.

© 2009 Emily B


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Featured Review

Oh this is beautiful. A pleasant surprise after dem lukewarm pieces...hehe ;-)
Seems as though although the moon is no longer shining, the dawn simply brings insomniac induced visions of the last evenings activities. The leaping Cheshire leopard! The hypnotic spooks, made magical by alluring moonbeams! A poets memories. And shooting stars. Ahh, yes. A quote may rouse me, but trepidation seems to be your breathless aphrodisiac!
A great contemplative piece!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A poem that with simple but subtle impressions transports how it is ; you always manage to compress complex feelings without removing depth; this is the essence of a loving relationship in a few lines, written with the skill of a fine poet.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily , If I was a guy this poem would make me blush in all the right colors , this poem is so romantic, (an ad just came on for "snickers peanut butter squared" haha, it feels a little like that yeah, eating chocolate when your starving for it.) love it , magic in ten lines or less, that's our Em :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this was honestly a powerful read for me.
your words seem to be correctly chosen and placed perfectly. thank you.


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this Emily. Sometimes always it's dangerous writing love poems or
romantic poems or poems that are emotionally motivated. I mean that,
there can often be too much momentum, momentum enough to make something too pretty it doesn't stick enough. like if i came up to you and told you you were the most beautiful girl in the world. or if you told me....
but, if i told you you know what emily, sometimes your smile really makes my day
then this has validity, and for me, it's that much more personal
that way, and because it is dressed down.

poetry can do things other things can't. a tree is always a tree until it is chopped down or made into.... but generally, you get the picture.... a tree is a tree. poetry isn't like that.

so i have one suggestion:

I feel you closer.

Color flashes

its brilliant light

haunts the waking hours.

The vagaries

of your nearness

are too much to whisper

except

you make me breathless.


and i guess i like that because there is casuality without explanation.
you feel closer to him. this causes colour to do something it isn't supposed to do.
that is a specific something and i think that plays into the next line about vagarie so well.
each thing has a relationship.

the plain statement at the end works well. you're saying i don't understand: i know. there is a mile a difference and there's something quite lovely in that sentiment.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Our bodies sense the nearness of those we share our lives with...those vagaries are something aren't they? A perfect word to use, vagaries, love the way you used it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Love and passion breathe in your poem. Beautiful!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Stunningly sensual Sweet Emily

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

spirit is closer, that is what it seems, we wonder at it while it is not there and there...what is it?! that is what i saw reading this poem.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

so does this poem....breathless from the ride....beautifully penned, Emily
and so emotive....just goes to show...you can say and feel much ... without clutter.
I loved its simplicity and passion...
allen

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on September 23, 2008
Last Updated on November 23, 2009
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Author

Emily B
Emily B

Richmond, KY



About
to the Lost Boys I am no Wendy; but my voice brings you back to me. And you sit around my feet, anxious for a story or a kiss. Listening to my words spinning adventures, like so much g.. more..

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