I Actually

I Actually

A Poem by Emo_Catrina

" I want him to stay here, with me"

 I actually feel this way about you.
I actually thought that this was going to go far.
You started a new fire in my heart.
And now your telling me that you didn't mean to?
I'm sure you know how I feel about you.
I thought that maybe, just maybe, this would work.
But maybe, you played me.
Thought you were different from the others,
turns out you were just the same.
Now you're not allowed to say my name.
I was a fool to think,
that we would actually look cool.
Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic.
But I know what I want, not afraid to go 
after it.
I'm not going around,
and leading people on.
And I'm definitely not 
not roaming around.
I'm more into
treating people
how they should be treated.
Not playing with their minds and emotions.
Unfortunately, we are surrounded by oceans
of people,
who would rather have a fling
for a month or two.
Rather than 
taking on something
serious.
I actually feel
like this is all a lie,
and none of what we had,
even mattered to you.
I actually thought, that we were happy.
You actually had me thinking
that what we had was important, and real.
You actually got me thinking that we would make it.
And worst of all,
You actually made me think that you cared about me
You actually made me believe that maybe, just maybe, 
that you meant it when you told me those very powerful words, 
very sensitive 3 words.
At the end, you say to me, ¨Have a nice day¨.
Only if there was a way,
to make you feel the pain you caused me.
This is why, I dislike
Valentines Day.




© 2018 Emo_Catrina


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Featured Review

I tend to agree with your other reviewer, JohnsDavidburg, in a few areas. I believe every experience we have with other person is valuable becuz of whatever lesson is imparted. If a person is bitterly disappointed & pissed, then it's partly becuz of unrealized expectations, which the disappointed person needs to learn to own. I believe expectations are relationship killers. I hate when people put their expectations on me becuz I'm a free spirit & I would be the person this poem is directed at with much venom. But regardless of our drastically different viewpoints, your writing is well done & expressed with maximum palpable emotion. Even tho it's not my way of seeing things, the way you express yourself here is extremely clear & also an accurate way of showing how most people feel at the end of a relationship, whether it lasted 2 months or 20 years. We do have to get very pissed sometimes to move on & shake ourselves out of the grief of losing something we had wanted very badly to depend upon. You told this part of the story in a way that is very well-done & true-to-life. Thanks for accepting my differing views (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

i'm laughing emo. the ending. ..."this is y i dislike valentine's day". still laughing.
i don't know lots of things (y things turn out the way they do) rbut a friend roughly said to me once: if u don't believe yourself, how will u believe others

" I want him to stay here, with me". i like this for a start. it resonates desire BUT i feel u may still need to bring in that spirit of valentine as a judge of the whole experience

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think Robert Ray's comments are wise-- dating is a sort of training ground for the heart. Given time, the heart can heal itself of almost any hurt. On a personal note, though an old man now, once I was a young man as self-centered and insensitive as your 'beau'; and in time I paid a very heavy price for not being able to commit (to quote a sage:' those unable to love put themselves in hell'). Giving your heart is both an act of faith and courage-- just take your time doing so.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

you should submit this to the do you want your poem to be a song contest

Posted 1 Year Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Definitely a well chosen emphasis on the word actually. It shows the frustration at yourself for believing it would all be positive. I have not felt this hurt yet and I hope not to, but I'm sure this feelings of anger are pretty universal, and I know you will move past them, but getting them out of your system is the best way to leave them behind, and it also makes damn good poetry.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Love shouldn’t be kept for a certain day , I agree valentines... make promises say things just because it’s so called valentines , they need to prove they are genuine all year round- well his loss and one door doesn’t close before there’s something better in the way- sad that things don’t always go the way we want but it’s all part of the learning process, chin up, love your poem🌹

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

We want to give a real relationship serious thought but so few do that from the beginning. Seems we fall into "things" by initial personal attractions - down to even perceived peer pressures. A lot of our thoughts form in the heat of actions and the quiet and calming afters we share. "Like" is not love but in most minds it really does seem to equate until in a specific mind it no longer does ...equate... to a real existence. So many "settle" because they ARE afraid of the alternatives... socially, financially, and even from loneliness.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Valentine day. Can be a bad day dear poet. I liked the honest thoughts leading to ending of disappointment. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I tend to agree with your other reviewer, JohnsDavidburg, in a few areas. I believe every experience we have with other person is valuable becuz of whatever lesson is imparted. If a person is bitterly disappointed & pissed, then it's partly becuz of unrealized expectations, which the disappointed person needs to learn to own. I believe expectations are relationship killers. I hate when people put their expectations on me becuz I'm a free spirit & I would be the person this poem is directed at with much venom. But regardless of our drastically different viewpoints, your writing is well done & expressed with maximum palpable emotion. Even tho it's not my way of seeing things, the way you express yourself here is extremely clear & also an accurate way of showing how most people feel at the end of a relationship, whether it lasted 2 months or 20 years. We do have to get very pissed sometimes to move on & shake ourselves out of the grief of losing something we had wanted very badly to depend upon. You told this part of the story in a way that is very well-done & true-to-life. Thanks for accepting my differing views (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

a vulnerable anti-valentines day poem always gets my heart

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Amy
I like your poem it is so emotional and captivating. The more I read it, the sadder I got. If it makes you feel better, everything happens for a reason, and someday I hope you will find someone who treats you like you're their everything. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 16, 2018
Last Updated on February 20, 2018

Author

Emo_Catrina
Emo_Catrina

Reedley, CA



About
emo, shy, loves music. I typically keep to myself, and am not very expressive. But when I write, it's like I'm some place else. Birthday on February 18th "Find a guy who calls you beautif.. more..

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