I Actually

" I want him to stay here, with me"

 I actually feel this way about you.

I actually thought that this was going to go far.

You started a new fire in my heart.

And now your telling me that you didn't mean to?

I'm sure you know how I feel about you.

I thought that maybe, just maybe, this would work.

But maybe, you played me.

Thought you were different from the others,

turns out you were just the same.

Now you're not allowed to say my name.

I was a fool to think,

that we would actually look cool.

Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic.

But I know what I want, not afraid to go 

after it.

I'm not going around,

and leading people on.

And I'm definitely not 

not roaming around.

I'm more into

treating people

how they should be treated.

Not playing with their minds and emotions.

Unfortunately, we are surrounded by oceans

of people,

who would rather have a fling

for a month or two.

Rather than 

taking on something

serious.

I actually feel

like this is all a lie,

and none of what we had,

even mattered to you.

I actually thought, that we were happy.

You actually had me thinking

that what we had was important, and real.

You actually got me thinking that we would make it.

And worst of all,

You actually made me think that you cared about me

You actually made me believe that maybe, just maybe, 

that you meant it when you told me those very powerful words, 

very sensitive 3 words.

At the end, you say to me, ¨Have a nice day¨.

Only if there was a way,

to make you feel the pain you caused me.

This is why, I dislike

Valentines Day.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I tend to agree with your other reviewer, JohnsDavidburg, in a few areas. I believe every experience we have with other person is valuable becuz of whatever lesson is imparted. If a person is bitterly disappointed & pissed, then it's partly becuz of unrealized expectations, which the disappointed person needs to learn to own. I believe expectations are relationship killers. I hate when people put their expectations on me becuz I'm a free spirit & I would be the person this poem is directed at with much venom. But regardless of our drastically different viewpoints, your writing is well done & expressed with maximum palpable emotion. Even tho it's not my way of seeing things, the way you express yourself here is extremely clear & also an accurate way of showing how most people feel at the end of a relationship, whether it lasted 2 months or 20 years. We do have to get very pissed sometimes to move on & shake ourselves out of the grief of losing something we had wanted very badly to depend upon. You told this part of the story in a way that is very well-done & true-to-life. Thanks for accepting my differing views (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Cherrie Palmer]

I agree with Robert it has a raw flow to it. Baby, sing the blues, cause it will get better.

[R.E. Ray]

This poem is a raw and painful account of a lesson learned. Though it's not usually recognized as worthwhile, especially to young hearts, it's a valuable lesson. It's also why we date--to discover the real person, especially the flaws. Better betrayed as a boyfriend or girlfriend than a husband or wife, especially if children are involved. I particularly like how you ended this poem with the Valentine's Day reference. Like so many relationships, we build up expectations and then wake the next day to find something different. Keep writing, please. I enjoy reading your work.

[Lavi]

"Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic.
But I know what I want, not afraid to go
after it."

I'm not much a fan of Valentine's day myself but for different reasons. The layout of this piece was different and yet flawless in its rhythm, conveying your feelings of betrayal and exasperation so well. It's better to not chase after others until they chase after you first, that way the curse of being a 'hopeless romantic' doesn't follow. I also love how you said, "Unfortunately, we are surrounded by oceans
of people,
who would rather have a fling
for a month or two.
Rather than
taking on something
serious."
Some people are just like that, as you know, and there's nothing worse than finding yourself being played by one. Powerful words, thanks for sharing.

[Davidgeo]

Never mistake that fire for anything other than what was already inside you. I don't believe in the whole "destiny" non sense... I think that undercuts the true power of that emotion. If you deeply feel something, you can do anything. Even fall in love if you want, or something foolish like that.

[Madeleine Celeste]

This exclamation and declaration all in one is so strong and meaningful. This is just as poignant as it is snarky, and the mix is absolutely perfect. I adore this piece!

[Pete]

hmm. a difficult outpouring from a hurt heart. maybe they should have valentine cards like this for those who jilt us ...

[Madeleine Celeste]

That'd have to be a very big card...

[Tony]

Very emotional write. Sounds like it comes from a very personal experience. Those usually make the best poems because they write themselves. Nice work.