A child that never been born

A child that never been born

A Poem by Janice Fronek(red.panda)
"

this poem is about my miscarrige that happened a few weeks ago

"

She/He never had love

never been alive

she/he was taken by god

was only here for 6 weeks and died

 

everynight I cry

hoping she/he was here

I should've tried

but I failed for she/he to be near

 

why is it this way?

I wanted someone to love

Someone that would stay

someone from above

 

I wanted that child to be

I wish I could hold

keep her/she love near me

but the days were cold

 

could only pray

wait for the perfect moment

and hope she/he would stay

© 2012 Janice Fronek(red.panda)


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I have always dreamed of having a little girl. My little Rosalie. I feel like I know her already, and I love her so much. The though of losing her makes me tremble. Of all the gifts in life which we as mortals can recieve, a child is the greatest. To lose one is perhaps the greatest torment.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Powerful and emotional subject. However, I do feel that there is some awkward phrasing here and there, as well as grammatical errors that could be improved upon. For example, in the first lines, it would be "she/he (which could be replaced with a more gender neutral "they") never had love, never drew breath/was alive". This would be more grammatically correct, and would also improve the sense of flow within the piece overall. Changes of this nature could make this poem an extremely memorable one! I look forward to seeing what you do with it.

Cheers,

VK

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I have always dreamed of having a little girl. My little Rosalie. I feel like I know her already, and I love her so much. The though of losing her makes me tremble. Of all the gifts in life which we as mortals can recieve, a child is the greatest. To lose one is perhaps the greatest torment.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this poem but now im worried im only 5 week's pregnant
and i hope i dont lose he or she

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

awes im sorry :/
i like the poem and there might be a second chance

Posted 8 Years Ago


Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

ya I hope so
:*(

Posted 8 Years Ago


Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

:/
I'm so sorry. . . I know how much it can hurt.
Your poem was amazing, I can really feel the emotion...
i almost cried *holds in tears*


Posted 8 Years Ago


Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

thank you so much for the review
Diasha

8 Years Ago

Your welcome ^^
You expressed it so well.. and I am so sorry.. I know your pain.. just know that little one knew love because of you..

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

thanks you so much
Renée

8 Years Ago

(( hugs))
i really feel the sorrow in this one
But I think the 4th stanza, line 3 need rephrase
"himher"

Posted 8 Years Ago


Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

okay thanks :D
Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-

8 Years Ago

thank you for writing
Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

:) your welcome
A truly Heartbreaking piece my friend.....Whisk

Posted 8 Years Ago


Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

ya
T-T wipes tears away

Posted 8 Years Ago


Janice Fronek(red.panda)

8 Years Ago

thanks :)

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Added on November 28, 2012
Last Updated on November 29, 2012

Author

Janice Fronek(red.panda)
Janice Fronek(red.panda)

antigo, WI



About
Hello there my name is Janice Fronek. I had been writing for five years now and I had been very successful in writing. I am very over protective of my writing and the format that I write in. My favo.. more..

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