A chaotic reflection

Could I ask myself a question?

Maybe I can figure it out?

With so many I's to be dotted

How do I find the T's to cross

It seems so f*****g simple

So complex and underground

I don't know how to work it out

I'm failing with out doubt

 

Grab a seat for the occasion

I barely utter words

I wish that I could fly away or die today

It seems there is no easy way out

The smell of failure seems dear...

I fear what could happen

I fear nothing else

 

Why can't I

find a way

to feel alive

without dying inside

why do I feel

why do I care...

 

Alone I sound the trumpet

A triumphant return to bone

to bleed,

to spread the seed of my hypocrisy

I find comfort in chaos

What sanity silence brings

... and it's the same thing

 

Can I ask myself a question

(why can't I, find a way)

Maybe I'll figure it out...

(to feel alive)

 

why do I feel?

why do I care?

how heavy is this cross I bare?

how heavy is my heart?

 

My heads under water

the demons play their part

in severing my will to be

to see things for what they are

 

If I can ask myself a question

Could I answer in truth?

why do I feel?

why do I care?

 

It's all black when I close my eyes...