Meditation

Meditation

A Story by Woody
"

Three hermits are seeking peace of mind.

"

From inside the cave, all you can see is a piece of blue sky. An azure canvas of indeterminate shape, waiting for an artist to give it life by a sheer stroke of a brush. It is not the dwelling of a bear or a mountain lion. Inside, three bearded and, let’s face it, filthy hermits are sitting in blissful silence, each in his little corner. One sat cross-legged, the other cross-eyed (please don’t laugh at the misfortune of others) and the third, just cross. A damn fly was giving him hell, landing on his closed eyelid then crawling dangerously close to his nostril.


They have been sitting there, unmoving for close to a month. All that can be heard is the labored breathing of the oldest of the three and the wheezing of the youngest. Occasionally, a fart may resound and bounce off the moss-covered walls of the cave.


The hands on the middle hermit’s Rolex show exactly 10:34 when the unhurried clip of a horse is heard outside. Three heads turn as one towards the entrance of the cave. Against his better judgment, the youngest hermit’s parched lips partly part ever so slightly. 


“What a beautiful white horse!” he breathes. 


Once again, silence settles on the three cave dwellers like a thick blanket.

A week passes by with no change in the scene. The men are sitting in the same position, meditating, or just dozing off, who knows? Two more days go by when the middle hermit breaks (I bet you thought I was going to say “wind”) the sacred silence:


“It was a grey horse.”


Silence again. All eyes closed. A frown creases the otherwise smooth forehead of the youngest. A fly buzzes in the air. A lizard slithers near a dirty knee and a mouse sniffs the air then scurries back inside a crack in the wall. In a dark corner of the cave, a fat black spider is patiently weaving its web and eyeing the fly, setting the table for breakfast, so to speak.


Two uneventful weeks go by when the eldest breaks wind. (Ah! Well, sometimes you need some kind of a release. You see, unlike many so-called writers, I care about my characters), then solemnly declares:


“If you’re going to squabble, I’ll go find me another cave.” 

© 2016 Woody


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Featured Review

This is some of your best writing, even tho the twist isn't the star of the show this time. Once again, your pacing is impeccable, especially between the "white horse" and "gray horse" remarks . . . lovely observations of the almost-imperceptible routine in the cave . . . the fly, the lizard, the spider . . . I just love the way you craft these observations on the cusp of true-to-life and tongue-in-cheek. First, the reluctant admission in the first paragraph about the hermits being filthy, then later, the mouse appears, sniffs, then scurries away . . . so much can be gleaned from just these sparse remarks. These are the things that make your writing sing . . . or sometimes, blast out a ripe fart.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

3 Years Ago

thank you so very much M. for yet another heart-warming review. you know, I think I told you once th.. read more



Reviews

This is some of your best writing, even tho the twist isn't the star of the show this time. Once again, your pacing is impeccable, especially between the "white horse" and "gray horse" remarks . . . lovely observations of the almost-imperceptible routine in the cave . . . the fly, the lizard, the spider . . . I just love the way you craft these observations on the cusp of true-to-life and tongue-in-cheek. First, the reluctant admission in the first paragraph about the hermits being filthy, then later, the mouse appears, sniffs, then scurries away . . . so much can be gleaned from just these sparse remarks. These are the things that make your writing sing . . . or sometimes, blast out a ripe fart.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

3 Years Ago

thank you so very much M. for yet another heart-warming review. you know, I think I told you once th.. read more
the details in this story are very vivid, you're a good storyteller .pen on.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

5 Years Ago

thanks a lot Latifa. glad you like it :)
Hah-ha-ha! You're crazy! I love it! Woody, you've outdone yourself. Your sense of humor is honed to a very sharp edge.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

5 Years Ago

God, what a day it's going to be! I can hear angels sing :) thank you very much, Sam.
You're a master of comedy Woody! Love it!
You're writing is wonderful!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

5 Years Ago

thank you so much Ance! you made my day, as always, with your review :)
Woody, another comical masterpiece. I viewed the Monte Python thing you suggested on you tube. My wife and I laughed muy mucho.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

5 Years Ago

Thank you M.E. and I'm glad you liked life of Brian. now, if you're hooked, try Monty Python and the.. read more
Woody. You are unfailingly entertaining and I thought this particularly well written. Although a simple premise it was really well detailed and kept my attention all the way through.

Beccy.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

5 Years Ago

you are too kind Beccy :) thank you, Dear.
HA! I was immediately drawn into this scenario by the style of your writing, the way you invited the reader in. Aptly titled and is the foundation to the whole story. Just something to throw on the table, is there a specific discipline they are meditating on that could add another dimension of humor to this piece? Just wondering. I like the differences in ages and how each age, phase of life observes, considers, and reacts. An excellent entertaining story. Keep 'em coming.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

roarke

5 Years Ago

I put my stories into a "simmer" file and let them ferment.... then I go back eons later and read th.. read more
Woody

5 Years Ago

I understand. But sometimes, one mustn't look for hidden meanings that may or may not exist. And I t.. read more
roarke

5 Years Ago

heh, and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, I got cha.
Very nice write, Engluva! :) I agree with Marie, your asides to the reader are well placed and quite entertaining. My only issue is that theoretically, if they haven't eaten in a month, there will be no 'wind' to break, so to speak. But where, in the Heavens, did you get the idea of three monks in a cave with a white horse? You have a great mind, my friend. Bravo! Thanks for the amusement..:)

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

5 Years Ago

thanks a lot Anne. inconsistencies, you think? I'm sure you understood that I do that on purpose. an.. read more
THis is really funny. I love your asides to the reader. Not many writers can pull this off, but you do an excellent job.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

5 Years Ago

Thank you dear Marie. That's all I'll say.

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Added on April 13, 2014
Last Updated on March 24, 2016
Tags: just for fun

Author

Woody
Woody

Mateur, Bizerte, Tunisia



About
ok, time for an update I think. my old friends have come to know me pretty well, I trust so this is for the new comers. I'm a Tunisian 60-year-old teacher-cum-translator, book worm who enjoys writing.. more..

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