The Jungle Book

The Jungle Book

A Poem by Woody
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collection

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King of the Jungle

Zan lives in the jungle with the apes

He’s feared by lions and gators

He fell in a barrel of tar by the lake

While picking up wild potaters

Now the hyenas are mocking the man

They laugh n’ jeer n’ call him Tar Zan 

 

Smoking Jane

When Jane threw her cigarette on the forest floor

Unwittingly ignoring the ashtray by the door

 

She started a fire that spread like… wild fire

Making the elephant climb a tree, to escape the pyre

 

But for his defense, he made a trunk call, posthaste

Before the whole freaking place went to waste

 

The firefighters started running hither and thither

Hurriedly drawing water from the nearby river

 

Now Tarzan despondently stood and watched his domain

As crying Jane promised not to ever smoke again

 

 

Hide and Seek

The felines met to play a game

Tigers, lions, they all came


“Come let’s all play hide and seek

And I promise I’ll not peek,”


Said the leopard they call Rita

But they knew she was a cheetah

 

 

Huma

 

There was a young man from Yuma

Who once told a joke to a puma

Now the puma didn’t laugh

But, instead, bit his calf

That puma had no sense of huma

© 2015 Woody


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Gee
And the monkeys came, all lesbians,
led by the crop haired Lana,
who got her kicks, with primate chicks,
and her Ann Summers banana.
Whilst the monkey males,told sad tales,
of life without vagina,
their bleeding hearts responsible for,
the sharp rise in acute angina.

Morning Woody !!!



Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gee

7 Years Ago

Thank you..
Gee

7 Years Ago

Hi Woody, have posted as a poem with an extra 8 lines.....hope you are well
Woody

7 Years Ago

I'm on it Gee :)



Reviews

Another classic witty write. Still smiling. Valentine

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

still smiling for an obvious different reason :)))))
thank you Valentine
these funny poems are ingenious love the huma and rita the cheetah very creative and your sense of humor runs throughout...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

gosh I'm so glad marilyn thanks a million. you seem to prefer poetry. there a few other nes scattere.. read more
marilyn 1225

9 Years Ago

will read all I love short stories. Have you published a novel?
Woody

9 Years Ago

nope. I won't do it in Tunisia anyway. I'd love to do it in the States or UK but I don't know how to.. read more
Hilarious :D that man has NO sense of huma :D

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

thank you Amy. I know you know some of them but I put them together to make a mini book :)
LOL! My favorite is "Said the leopard they call Rita; But they knew she was a cheetah"

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

thanks loads Momzilla. what a joy to make you laugh :)
MomzillaNC

9 Years Ago

You're welcome. You're writes always tickle my funny bone.
haha! Very witty and extremely funny. Cheers for the smiles Woody.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

thank you Mr_M. so glad you enjoyed this :)
hahaha go to the Zoo and tell these to the Tiger in his Cage.

Huma is very funny. Keep writing these, until you have 500 or so!!!

Take out the word "alike" after gators, change wild green grapes to "wild potaters"

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hawkmoon

9 Years Ago

yes, yours are quite comparable! :)
Woody

9 Years Ago

I'm humbled and flattered. thanks.
Hawkmoon

9 Years Ago

yeh, Shel Silverstein is a great poetic mentality. have fun in freedom.
Lim-ungles huh? Breezy brevity to bemuse Bawana.....

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

haha that's a good title! I wish I'd thought of "Bwana". that's a word I could've used.
thank .. read more
roarke

9 Years Ago

I've writer's block incognito....
Woody

9 Years Ago

oh boy! I know what that is. been there. I had it in-Tunisia.
a modern jungle poem. i like this lines

Now Tarzan despondently stood and watched his domain
As crying Jane promised not to ever smoke again



Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

haha thank you Bela. I enjoy playing the fool. glad you liked this one.
This is fantastic!
The last stanza gave me quite a laugh, absolutely witty and clever.
Well done!
-VM


Posted 9 Years Ago


Woody

9 Years Ago

I'm thrilled you found this one funny. thanks heaps, Vanesa.
What, no Guitar-Zan? What about Shiek Yer-Booty? I'm just kidding--you've got all the ones that count. You're a funny, Woody.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

thanks a lot sam. those two are good. I might find a future use for them.
the whole rigmarole .. read more

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887 Views
23 Reviews
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Added on January 6, 2015
Last Updated on January 11, 2015
Tags: Jungle, Tarzan, Jane, animals, elephant, cheetah, puma, tiger, hyena

Author

Woody
Woody

Mateur, Bizerte, Tunisia



About
ok, time for an update I think. my old friends have come to know me pretty well, I trust so this is for the new comers. I'm a Tunisian 60-year-old teacher-cum-translator, book worm who enjoys writing.. more..

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