White Chapel

White Chapel

A Story by Woody
"

The Dobsons are buying a country house. That's all there is to it.

"

The weather forecast had predicted rain and foul weather. So far, only a handful of little fluffy white lambs were gambolling in a bright blue sky, watched over by a cheeky November sun.


The Dobsons had just finished their visit of the country house they intended to buy. Father Mc Kenzie, who’d picked up the rice in the church where a wedding had been, had shown them around and delighted in their gleeful excitement. It turned out to be more than their dream house. Everything was just perfect. It had taste and class with an eye for comfort. Father Mc Kenzie, who’d darned his socks for the occasion, was selling it furnished and Jim Dobson and his wife Janey did not intend to change a thing. Their bedroom and that of the twins both had picture windows that overlooked the driveway and a manicured garden. The parents’ was soft blue and the girls’ pink. The kitchen was any housewife’s dream. Janey could not stop drooling over the cooker range, the hanging pots, the cabinets and the island. The sitting room was equipped with a huge fireplace and the couch and armchairs looked comfy enough. On the wall, there was a large painting of a ship, sailing to sea with a lone seagull riding on a thermal.

                     

                                 **************************************


“I can’t believe our luck, darling,” said Janey with a big smile. 


The twins were sitting in the back playing 'I spy with my little eye'.


“It sure is a stroke of luck, honey. Steep price, though. But it’s well worth it.”


“S**t!” exclaimed Janey.            


“Muuum! Language,” admonished Lily, the cheekier of the two girls while her sister Emmy was giggling behind her hands. (or is it the other way round? Damn, they look so much alike)


“Sorry sweetheart.”


“What is it?” enquired Jim with a raised eyebrow. 


He shifted gear and followed a bend in the road.


“We saw the bathroom, right?”


“Yes, gorgeous, wasn’t it?”


“I know, but I didn’t see any toilet seat. Did you?”


“Blimey! You’re right. It must be in a separate part and father Mc Kenzie forgot to show it to us.”


“Yes, I’m sure, but I’m annoyed that it has slipped his mind.”


“Not to worry. We’ll write him a quick mail and ask where it is.”

 

Back home, Janey logged on and wrote:


Dear Father Mc Kenzie,


Thank you very much again for showing us around today. However, and I’m sure it was an oversight on your part, we didn’t see the WC. Could you please tell us where it is?


Thanking you in advance,

Yours truly


J & J Dobson

 

On reading the Email, Father Mc Kenzie, not familiar with the abbreviation WC that stood for water closet, took it to mean White Chapel, the church where he preached. He wrote back:


Dear Mr. and Mrs Dobson,


I thank you for your enquiry and am glad you asked about the place of your interest. 


The WC is located roughly about 3 miles away from the house, which can be awkward if you intend to go there on foot. It is advisable that you go there early to be able to find seats. I am sure you will be pleased by the cleanliness of the place and the incense filling it, to drive away the nasty smells. Children can sit next to their parents and everybody can sing in chorus. The place is astutely equipped with amplifiers so the people outside can benefit from the sounds coming out. One side is a huge glass pane so people can watch from the outside. On arrival, you will be given pieces of paper. Please, remember to give yours back on leaving so they can be used by others.


I hope my explanation is to your satisfaction. It will please me no end to watch you sitting there, using your sheets of paper and singing God’s grace.


Until we meet again,

I remain respectfully yours


Father Mc Kenzie   

© 2016 Woody


Author's Note

Woody
I'm sure you will have gathered that WC is an abbreviation of "Water Closet" which the French use a lot on their bathroom doors. I don't remeember seeing that anywhere during my stay in Scotland.

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Featured Review

Oh Woody! Oh my! The setup was a fraction laboured, if i had to pick holes, but the reply from the Father, who was no doubt wiping the dirt from his hands as he walked from ... had me really chuckling. You have a very gently humorous writing style. Delightful.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

3 Years Ago

haha thank you very much Nigel. please do pick holes. that's how I can hope to improve.
I lov.. read more
alanwgraham

3 Years Ago

This is crazy funny - you have to suspend believe and just go along with the madness. What a hoot! W.. read more
Woody

3 Years Ago

oh boy, "bogs"? I love that nickname. I agree we must have similar minds. great minds think alike? h.. read more


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Reviews

Father McKenzie obviously didn't get out much hey. :) It's a WC were I am too, (among many, many other names). Jokes aside though, I enjoyed the descriptive language in this story. The house sounded great and the church didn't sound too bad either unless you were also imagining trying to go about your business there. lol. Good to see you back Woody. It's been a while! Thanks for sharing your story & making me laugh. :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

4 Years Ago

yes I know, Andronicus. been quite busy lately. trying to get back on track. thank you so much for s.. read more
Andronicus

4 Years Ago

Oh, don't let me give you a false impression. We don't have WC on the bathroom doors but if you aske.. read more
Woody

4 Years Ago

ok. good to know that it's known outside France.
I was hoping that the priest's name would ri.. read more
I wish there was a word to properly demonstrate the goofy smile on my face.
Priceless. Come on, one of your best. I think. Or maybe they were all that good.

You have an aptitude for improving people's day.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

4 Years Ago

and you have improved my day. thanks a ton, my friend :)
p.s. I haven't forgotten you. I owe .. read more
This is certainly a crappy situation for the Dobsons! And what an unfortunate situation it would be if it were true! Ah, if only the father was a better judge of abbreviations.

And PS: White Chapel sounds a bit like a nickname for a toilet. Perhaps Mc Kenzie knew what he was talking about the whole time!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

4 Years Ago

a nickname for a toilet?? haha we call ours Jasmin scent :) anyway, crappy situation indeed.
.. read more

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Added on July 26, 2016
Last Updated on July 26, 2016
Tags: WC, country house, oversight

Author

Woody
Woody

Mateur, Bizerte, Tunisia



About
ok, time for an update I think. my old friends have come to know me pretty well, I trust so this is for the new comers. I'm a Tunisian 60-year-old teacher-cum-translator, book worm who enjoys writing.. more..

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