Prologue: Finding the Watch

Short indroduction on Esmee's character and how she found the Pocket Watch

   Against Time 
 
By: Martina in Wonderland 
 
Prologue: Finding the Pocket Watch 

 
 When will time stop? When will time turn backward or go forward? Where will I finally find that special someone? Those questions, flew in my capacity when I stared absent of my bedchamber window into the dark gray sky, getting ready to rain.  
 
So many things had gone wrong in my life. My real father left me and my mother. My mother married my abusive stepfather. My boyfriend cheated with my best friend behind my back. What else could ever gone wrong? Oh the starting of the beatings I get almost for no reason at all. I was just an outlet from my step father temperment and a huge fault on my mother's past. I could not vanish or fade away. I'm here to stay, a living proof of the life my mother and I once shared together.  
 
I covered the bruise on my arm with my hand slowly, brushing it knowing, just knowing he would be back again within a few hours. I want to leave. I want to get away or runaway from this worthless life. 
 
I saw something on my desk in my room. A small pocket watch, with a small note in the back.  
'Use it well' it says.  
What does that mean? 

I picked up the golden watch to take a look at this strange object that obviously wasn't mine or anyone in the house, I accidently touched the little knob on the top, watching everything around me began to swift so fast. 
 
Oh lord is this real? 

Author's Note

okay this is my first time I used first person point of view,
tell me what you think of it, please :)

Note: I didn't descibe any emotions that the character felt when being abuse yet. Im afraid I will over use it :/ so I kept it straight foreward. Next chapter would be better with the emotions.

Reviews

[Joshua Donahue]

love it! i wanna read more!!!!!! the note reminds me highly of Harry Potter when he receives the invisibility cloak in the first novel. but a nice piece and a great cliffhanger.

[Daydreamer54]

Ok, yea cause the prologue was lacking some emotions, but you'll get it right! Idk why i thought of the Phantom Tollbooth when she found the pocket watch in her room. I guess becuz in the book, the boy finds a tollbooth to appear in his room out of nowwhere and there was also an enevelpoe with it...idk I just that was just random thoughts... Ha, u r not used to 1st person and I'm not used to third! Well at least in 1st person u can pretend ur the character and make up an imaginary life of your own. :) Can;t wait 4 more!

[M. Elizabeth.]

This is great :)
I love the last line, im wanna start following this story now :)

[foilist13]

First off, I'm pretty sure things can't "swift," but I understood your meaning.

This whole piece doesn't feel like the mentality of someone who is the victim of abuse. It is very straightforward, and non-emotional in its construction. The only indicator that this person is distraught comes from the expletives which seem very artificial. I don't know, I just didn't feel like the character was actually feeling the emotions. The rhetorical questions to the reader compound the feeling that the emotion is contrived.

I like the concept though.